


Ain't no rest for the wicked

by Trashforstuckyandgot



Series: Ain't No Rest For The Wicked [1]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Aerys Is His Own Warning, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Female-Centric, Fluff and Crack, Funny, Hugs, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Multi, Nobody is Dead, Targaryen Babies, Targaryen Incest, aerys is crazy but harmless, weirdly wholesome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2020-09-26 16:55:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 39,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20393035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trashforstuckyandgot/pseuds/Trashforstuckyandgot
Summary: Now, many, many years later… Elia and Rhaegar managed to be civil around each other. Both were in relationships with their partners and only had to meet during those awkward christmas parties that grandfather threw and forced everyone in the family to attend, or he’d like have them fired from their jobs. Grandfather is weird like that.“What are you thinking about?” Aegon asked, his mouth full of pineapple pizza. Gross, she shuddered. “You’ve been zoning in and out all day.”“First of all; Close your mouth when chewing, second of all; Grandpa’s christmas parties.”





	1. Gods, I love the English.

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to a new story that I felt inspired to write lol. 
> 
> I don't know when I'll continue this or where I'm taking it but I have plans, especially for chapter 3 lol that's gonna be wild. 
> 
> Howeverrrrrrr: 'Pray the sun will rise' (About if Rhaegar won the rebellion and became king), will still take priority over this fic so just an FYI.
> 
> So basically I thought that I might write something light-hearted and funny (Well i'm trying to be but I suppose I'm failing miserably). Y'know? Instead of all the serious angst, death and despair. Let's have something crazy, depraved and fluffy. 
> 
> This is meant to be over-the-top and shit and not meant to be taken too seriously, so enjoy. 
> 
> Beware: it hasn't been edited. 
> 
> Please leave a kudos if you enjoyed it and comment down below, I live for comments. 
> 
> until next time,
> 
> <3

“Oh, Egg,” Rhaenys smirked, wrapping her arms around her brother’s shoulders as they walked through the streets of London, in the cover of night and the city lights. “In the words of Taylor swift: Home is where the heart is, but _ Gods _,” she sighed dramatically, “I love the English.” 

“What the fuck, Rhae?” her little brother grumbled, gently pushing her off him, before he’d stumble. 

That made Rhaenys raise an eyebrow. 

“What has your knickers in a bunch?” she asked her eighteen-year old brother, teasingly. “Is wittle Margaery Tyrell not returning your calls?” she continued in that condescending voice that people most often used when talking to children. 

“Stop it,” the silver haired man mumbled, his pale cheeks flushing as they kept on walking toward the curb, where they were to wait for uncle Viserys. 

Once they’d come to a halt, she did feel some semblance of guilt for taunting her brother like that. _ He is fond of the little rose, I should not mock him. Young love is what it is and I shall let it be. _

“Don’t be wroth, little brother,” she smiled, putting a comforting hand on his denim-clad back. “You know I love you.” 

“I love you too,” he sighed, embracing her. Even though she was taller than their mother by four inches, standing at 5’5, Aegon received his height from Rhaegar Targaryen, who was 6’3 and Aegon was 6’2, well on the way to eclipsing their dad. 

“Almost as much as I love teasing you,” she grinned, showing off her pearly whites. 

“And now you ruined our moment.” 

“Would you have it any other way, lil bro?” she asked and earned a chuckle from Aegon. 

“No, I do not think I would,” he began and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Also, there’s a spider on your shoulder.” Rhaenys squealed and began flailing hysterically, crying for Aegon to_ ‘get it off! Get it the fuck off!’ _ Her little scene on the busy London curb garnered some attention from onlookers and just then, a black mercedes pulled up beside them. 

“Aegon!” Rhaenys demanded, enraged by how he simply doubled over in laughter, knowing she was terrified of spiders. “I have arachnophobia!” 

“How the fuck can you even pronounce that shit, even more say it with a straight face?” he asked as he laughed. “Fine,” he huffed after a few more moments of laughing at his sister because she stood deathly still, on the verge of crying with her eyes squeezed shut. 

“There you go,” Egg replied, purple eyes nearly black in the dim light of the bustling street. “It’s tiny,” he reprimanded her, “how could you hurt this little thing?” Rhaenys watched with frightened, lavender eyes as he moved to… _ stroke? _The spider in his palm with his pinky. 

“What the fuck are you two doing?” A familiar voice asked and both the Targlings turned around to see the face of their uncle, Viserys. _ What the fuck? _ Rhaenys thought as she saw him and gasped. He was… fit now? The uncle Vis she remembered from that christmas party four years ago was softer, more chubby than he was lanky. _ Grandmother Rhaella said it was because he played all those video games, lived on his allowance and downright refused to eat anything other than fast-food. _

“I meet my niece and nephew for the first time in years and I'm met with one screaming and flailing like a banshee, whilst the other is…” Their uncle faltered for a moment. “Are you petting a spider, Aegon?” 

“What?” her brother asked indignantly, “Are you saying they’re not worthy of our love and affection simply because they look undesirable to the public? How very mid-century of you, uncle,” Aegon scoffed but there was amusement shining in his eyes. His sister was not-so-discreetly ogling their uncle with a strange, almost morbid fascination. Viserys returned her look, waiting for her to say something.

“You’re like fit now, uncle. It’s weird,” Rhaenys said and earned an incredulous look from her father’s younger brother. 

“Here I was, thinking we were supposed to respect our elders, alas it seems that we must wash the uncouthness of youth from your mouth with soap.” 

“You sound like a man who was revived from the 18th century,” she drawled and Viserys’s facade cracked into a slight smile as he moved to embrace her. _ He sounds rather like a posh, british socialite. And how I do love their accents. _

“I’ve missed you, little Rhaenys,” he mumbled into her ear, spinning her around for two or three laps. “And your bratty nature.” He was grinning when they broke apart, all white teeth and crinkled, lilac eyes that seemed to sparkle in the glow of the streetlights. 

“And Aegon, the little baby of the family. How you’ve grown since I last saw you,” their uncle said and moved to embrace his nephew, who mumbled indignantly that _ ‘Jon is’ _but halted, scrunching his nose. “Get rid of that thing,” he bade Aegon who shook his head. “Or I squash it in your hand.” Aegon mock-gasped.

“You would only _ dare, _” Egg breathed dangerously, easily shifting into a british dialect for the last word, earning a snort from his uncle. 

“Try. Me,” Viserys taunted and finally, her brother relented and gently dropped the arachnid down onto the cobblestones. 

“Uncle,” the eighteen-year old flashed a grin and hugged Viserys, both clapping each other on the back. “You’re taller than me now,” their uncle laughed. 

“By one inch,” Rhaenys said dismissively and lilac eyes turned to her. 

“Sometimes, niece, you will find that size _ does _matter.” 

“Well, then Aegon has the upper hand on you, I fear.” 

“I do like to think that I make up for it in other places,” he smirked and both Rhaenys and Aegon made gagging sounds. Uncle Viserys rolled his eyes and sighed. 

“You americans are so depraved. I blame your father.” 

“Who doesn’t?” both children of Rhaegar’s snorted in unison. 

“Guys, it’s raining,” Aegon complained and she felt tiny droplets of water touch her bare arms. She was only dressed in sweatpants and an old t-shirt, displaying the three-headed dragon of Targaryen corp. She’d nicked it from Aegon’s closet, it originated for the time that he’d been an intern at their father’s company._ Well… grandfather’s but dad runs it in all but name. _ Grandpa Aerys was a whole other topic that not many would broach, until they’d had at least three drinks. 

“Ah, yes,” Viserys concurred. “Let us get home, shall we?” 

***

Their uncle practically lived off of the money that his mother would paypal him each month and did not pay rent, as he was studying at…_ cambridge, was it? _ She had no idea what career the man was pursuing, only that the luxurious penthouse in the middle of London, was paid for by Rhaella Targaryen. It was a beautiful apartment, though. Quite spacious for a student, but it had a homey feel to it and he did have two spare rooms. 

“Is pizza alright?” Viserys called from the kitchen as Aegon and Rhaenys were comfied up in the leather couch, wrapped in warm blankets and watching reruns of the office, because that’s what was on their uncle’s netflix. 

“Yeah, I want pineapple on mine,” Aegon replied in his deep voice. 

“Heathen,” she heard Viserys hiss at his nephew, causing her to giggle. 

“Uncle does not agree with your choices in life,” she teased and her brother scoffed. 

“I do not think uncle has any room to speak,” he countered, not-so-discreetly alluding to that at the ripe age of twenty-five, Viserys Targaryen was practically living off his mother’s money and had as of yet been going to college for a suspicious amount of years. _ I do not care, Viserys is living the life and he looks good doing it. Wait what? _ She asked herself. _ Ew, gross, _ she shuddered. _ Stop. _

“What?” Aegon asked her confusedly. 

“Nothing,” she shrugged. “I just got one of those chills.” 

“Oh,” he nodded, “That happens sometimes,” the man agreed. Even though her family had a strange, Royal-Family-esque tradition where they married incestuously, she still felt fucking weird when her friends would ask why her family looked so much alike, or that one time in school where they had to draw a family-lineage. The memory made her shudder yet again. There had been way too many people with the same last name marrying each other on that stupid tree. Cersei Lannister, that vapid bitch had made fun Rhaenys, mocking her and asking why her grandparents were siblings. The Targaryen had asked why Cersei’s were cousins and proceeded to inquire if they originated from Alabama. That shut the golden-haired wench up, real quick. _ At least we are the blood of an ancient dynasty, of old Valyria. Cersei… she’s just American. _

Rhaenys would never marry Egg though, he was her brother and she did not love him that way. She was pretty sure that he felt the same way. Yet Dany and Jon had taken to each other, even though they were aunt and nephew. Rhaegar had not objected toward it, but he was too busy up his secretary’s ass to notice. Maybe Rhaenys was being harsh, her father had been with Lyanna for like ten years now. However, he did knock her up four years before that and neglected to tell anyone about it, until Elia Martell found out about it via Rhaegar's former best friend... whom she then proceeded to marry. _Whew, that was a wild time. How father knocked up a sixteen-year old intern of his, will forever be the beginning of why I need severe therapy and cannot be blamed for my wayward thoughts. _

“Pizza’s here,” Viserys said, breaking her out of the trip down memory lane. 

“You remembered my favorite,” Rhaenys breathed in awe, as she came face-to-face with the cheese pizza that contained a stuffed crust, with extra tomatoes. Her uncle shrugged.

“It was not rocket-science, Rhae,” he said arrogantly. “You are the only one I’ve ever met that orders extra tomatoes, that stuff sticks.” 

“You just wove me, Vissy,” she teased, “Admit it.” Her uncle absolutely despised that nickname.

“Never,” the man scoffed but his lilac eyes were soft with affection. 

Their uncle had stood by their mother, Elia Martell in the divorce… _ well everyone except like grandfather had. _ Things hadn’t looked good for Rhaegar Targaryen when it came out that he’d fucked a sixteen-year old, gotten her pregnant and hid it for four years, until his wife found out about them. _ An adulterous cunt, _ uncle Oberyn had called her father, in front of Rhaenys’s entire paternal family. Viserys had respectfully agreed, which angered his brother and Rhaella had simply moved to her daughter-in-law’s side during the awkward dinner and spoken of the admiration she held for the Dornishwoman. 

The divorce had broken their mother, but she always tried to remain so strong until she had no choice but to crumble. Always so busy driving Aegon and Rhaenys to school, being the class-parent, working at the corporation, Elia neglected taking care of herself and ended up in the hospital for exhaustion, having collapsed on her way out of the house. That was the scariest thing that Rhaenys ever experienced and she remembered crying to Viserys on the phone, fearing her mother would die. He assured her that Elia was a _ ‘strong ass bitch’ _ that would _ ‘certainly recover, or I’m having my brother castrated with a blunt knife.’ _

Her mother did recover and vowed to take better care of herself. After a while, Arthur Dayne began to be seen in their house without Rhaegar present and it caused quite a rift between the divorced couple, as Arthur had taken his childhood friend’s side in the divorce, instead of his cheating best friend’s._ Dad says mom revenge-fucked Arthur to get back at him but honestly, she did not bring him around until after the divorce was finalized. _ Rhaenys caught herself wondering; _ what if she did? You got a high-schooler pregnant. _ A snide comment from her mother, the day before their divorce, as Rhaegar pleaded on the phone, still made Rhaenys snort. 

_ “This isn’t Jerry fucking Springer, Rhaegar! I will not play house with you and your girlfriend, you piece of shit!” _ After that, Elia had blocked the father of her children’s number and forced Arthur Dayne to act as a medium between them. _ Perhaps he acted as more than that. _

Now, many, many years later… Elia and Rhaegar managed to be civil around each other. Both were in relationships with their partners and only had to meet during those awkward christmas parties that grandfather threw and forced everyone in the family to attend, _ or he’d like have them fired from their jobs. Grandfather is weird like that. _

“What are you thinking about?” Aegon asked, his mouth full of pineapple pizza. _ Gross, _ she shuddered. “You’ve been zoning in and out all day.”

“First of all; Close your mouth when chewing, second of all; Grandpa’s christmas parties.” 

“Oh, those horrid things,” Viserys cut in dramatically and shivered in his seat. “I still remember that one from four years ago. Thankfully, he believes me when I say that I have the flu each year. You know he’s a hypochondriac.” her uncle paused for a few minutes before continuing. “Thank the Gods I don’t have a job that he can fire me from and that mother is the one sending me cash.” 

“Do you remember the green fire fiasco?” Rhaenys asked her uncle and he snorted. 

“How can I forget? He accidentally lit five people on fire attempting it. Gods, the hand-outs he had to give in return for their silence and promises not to sue.” 

“He didn’t even seem very sorry about it,” Aegon chimed in and their uncle shook his head, reaching for a slice of Rhaenys’s pizza. 

“Being rich will do that to you, Egg-i-o.” 

“Hey!” Rhaenys squealed, “That’s my pizza.” 

“I paid for it,” Viserys smirked, purposefully biting down on the slice, chewing and swallowing before grinning. 

“With grandma’s money,” she retorted and he raised an eyebrow. 

“Your arguments are getting drier by the minute, niece, do try harder, you’re boring me” he replied, pretending to yawn.

“Give it here,” she reached out a hand but the silver-gold haired man shook his head, still smiling. Aegon looked as if he wanted to die, sandwiched between them and their squabbling. 

“If you want it, come and get it,” her uncle sang in the tune of Selena Gomez’s old hit, terribly out of tune, making both Targlings wince. 

“After further consideration; keep it, uncle.”

“Why thank you, niece,” he replied mockingly, finishing the slice. 

“It’ll be your birthday gift from me,” she beamed and watched his eyes widen. 

“Oh no,” he shook his head, wagging his fingers in front of her face. “I was thinking a car… perhaps.” 

“A toy car,” Aegon snorted, causing Viserys to smack him in the back of the head lightly, with the pizza carton. 

“What the fuck was that for?” Aegon asked, rubbing the back of his head. 

“Do not be dramatic,” their uncle drawled. “It was for your insolence. I shall have none of that cheek in my household.” She could see how Viserys was biting his cheeks, to keep from laughing. 

“It seems the Duke of Sussex has returned, Egg, don’t you think?” Rhaenys smirked. “Or count Dracula. He does look like a vampire, doesn’t he?” 

“Dracula was an absolute ‘snacc’ as you kids call it these days and it is an honor to be compared to such a cad. He was very into orgies, if I recall correctly, which is a very fortunate thing, I should say,” Viserys said poshly, causing his nephew to raise his eyebrows and Rhaenys to scoff.

“You are aware that you are only five years older than me, right?” 

“From the way he speaks, I’d say 500 years, Rhae,” Aegon mumbled, munching on his _ third… fourth? _ Slice of pizza. 

“Do you want another clout in the ear with that pizza box?” 

“See? Who speaks like that?” Aegon flailed his arms in exasperation, making Rhaenys giggle and Viserys break his character, softly chuckling. _ He does look pretty when- no. _


	2. All we need is some sunshine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’ll buy a new one on the black market,” Viserys grinned.   
“I’ll sell you on the black market for spares,” she grumbled, “You get like sixty grand for a liver, I think. Imagine what I’d do with that money.” A Lamborghini sounds nice.   
“Good luck selling mine, it’s on its last life after those first three years at Uni.”   
“I’ll just take your kidneys and your retinas then,” Rhaenys stuck her tongue out at an amused Viserys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been almost a month since the last update and here's chapter two. I have some things planned for this story and I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> Don't forget to leave a comment down below and a kudos if you liked it! 
> 
> Until next time,  
<3

“So,” Viserys began cheerfully, obnoxiously chewing on his cereal, “How long are you kiddos staying?” Rhaenys rolled her eyes and took a bite of her toast and Aegon… he was nursing a severe hangover. 

“Too loud,” her brother groaned and put his head against the tabletop.  _ He went out partying last night, with some guy called Satin and can honestly blame himself. _ Like a responsible adult and not a wayward eighteen-year old, Rhaenys had opted to stay home with her uncle. They’d played chess (in which Rhaenys was miserably beaten by the older man’s skills). 

It had been a good night, though. After chess, they ordered chinese food and watched those cringey, cheesy love-coms that everyone loved to hate. When Rhaenys had pointed out how hot Liam Hemsworth was, Viserys scoffed and said that he was just photogenic. She begged to differ. In the end, she’d fallen asleep beside Viserys and woke up to him carrying her to the guest bedroom. Her cheeks would still heat when she recalled mumbling something of how strong he was and the rich laugh he’d exuded.

“You are literally closer in age with us, than you are with dad,” she exclaimed. “Well, Egg is starting College next week and I have work, so maybe five more days?” They’d already been there for a week and it had honestly been splendid.  _ No drama with dad, or awkward dinners with Lyanna, or with grandfather for that matter. Just us, Viserys and his weird self. _

“Work,” he scoffed, “Is that some sort of peasant joke that I’m too rich to understand?” Her uncle was biting his lip, trying to maintain a poker face. 

“That  _ grandma  _ is too rich to understand. You’d be nothing but another broke student, without her allowances,” Rhaenys corrected, smiling brightly. 

“You’re just jealous,” he smirked, “Having to labor whilst I indulge my every whim.” 

“Uncle… You’ve been in college for like _ six years. _ ” The silver-haired man shrugged. 

“The parties were splendid the first two years, what was I supposed to do? Say no?”

“Yes,” she replied incredulously, “That is what us mortals do.” 

“Well, sweet niece-- wasn’t it you who said that I was Dracula? So by those standards, I am no mere mortal and thusly; the laws of those doomed to die, do not apply to me.” 

“H-” Rhaenys began but was silenced.

“-Quiet,” Aegon begged, “Please, no more Shakespearean shit.” Her uncle eyed his nephew with amusement. 

“I do remember when that was me, nursing a severe hangover. And it is called speaking eloquently, Aegon. Do you hear me adding random ‘’eth’’ and ‘’oth’’ to my words?” her uncle asked. When her brother made no response but a groan, Viserys looked pleased with himself, “Then it is not and I quote ‘’Shakespearean.’’’ However, their uncle shivered suddenly.

“What?” Rhaenys asked, smiling. 

“I’m turning twenty-six soon.” 

“Myes,” she replied, smirking as she took a sip of her coffee. “Nothing fucks you harder than time.” 

“Alas, I must agree, but how I do wish that wasn’t the case.” Mischief sparkled in those lilac eyes but Rhaenys simply rose an eyebrow. 

“Get help,” she giggled into her coffee cup. 

“Oh there are lots of things that I would need help with and I wager you’d need it as well. Having Rhaegar as a father must’ve monumentally fucked you two up.” 

“You have no idea,” Rhaenys agreed. “I should schedule another appointment with my therapist, for when I get back. To sort out all the childhood trauma, y’know.” Viserys nodded, taking a sip of his own coffee and she noticed how it left his full lips slightly wet.  _ Freud would’ve had a field trip, _ she thought. 

“Try going to school and telling your class that your parents are siblings. None of your shit could ever top that.”

“Lyanna,” Aegon chimed in, the word sounding more like a groan. 

“Aerys,” Viserys countered. 

“Touché,” Rhaenys finished. 

“Well… What is on the schedule for today? I thought we could take a trip down to the beach, it is ghastly hot outside, don’t you think?” It truly was hot… for being England. Gods, how she despised the hot and dry summers. 

“I suppose it could be fun,” Rhaenys nodded. Aegon simply groaned and mumbled something unintelligible. 

“Come on, little bro. Some sun will do you good.” 

“We will have to travel to West London, though, for the closest one. Central beaches are not exactly sprouting up like leaves here.” 

“I don’t have a bathing suit,” she realised. 

“Then we’ll stop and get one,” her uncle said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. 

“You’re paying,” she stuck her tongue out and he rolled his lilac eyes. 

“Do you think me some common peasant? To force a young and beautiful lady such as you, to pay for her own expenses? Absurd!” he exclaimed, making her giggle. 

“Looks like I found a sugar daddy,” she told her brother teasingly, bumping his shoulder with her arm, “What did you find but misery?” 

“Don’t ever use those words and uncle Viserys in the same context, ever again, please Rhae,” Aegon whined. 

“Sugar. Daddy. Viserys,” she whispered into her brother’s ears wickedly, earning a distressed sound. Their uncle watched their interaction, barely able to contain his laughter.

“Well I do quite like the sound of that,” Viserys began, “It has a ring to it. Perhaps I’ll be the next Hugh Hefner,” he finished with a smirk. It was Rhaenys’s turn to don a look of disgust. 

“No, uncle, ew, he’s old and dead.” 

“Are you being contrary and stating that I am young, hot and alive, then?” 

“You’re Dracula,” she allowed, “Somewhere in the middle, I’d say.” Her uncle mock-gasped and put a hand to his mouth. 

“Was that the semblance of a compliment?” “From mean, little Rhaenys?”

“I am not mean,” she scoffed and smiled. “I like to think of myself as honest. Or well… My therapist wants me to be. That hasn’t worked out great with dad.” Aegon was half-asleep on the table.  _ Ew, is that drool?  _

“Your dad is a tough cookie to bite through,” her uncle allowed, his lilac eyes softening, “But he’s all gooey and soft once you get to the center.” 

“Lyanna certainly fucking did,” Rhaenys snorted and her uncle tried (but failed miserably) to keep a straight face. 

“What a scandalous thing to say, niece,” he drawled, pink lips quirking upward. 

“Twas a scandalous thing he did,” she grinned sharklike. “But what is in the past, remains there. I’m just happy that mom finally found her freedom and is with Arthur now. He always did seem to love her, even when Egg and I were young.” The silver-haired man turned thoughtful then. 

“Perhaps he did and she was simply too enthralled with my brother’s honeyed words and pretty eyes.” 

“It seems everyone were.” 

*** 

“No Viserys, for the last time, I will not wear a scuba,” Rhaenys faltered, staring at the black piece of cloth, “Whatever that is.” 

“It looks nice,” he bit back.

“It is for  _ diving _ ,” she hissed.

“Well we can go diving then,” her uncle countered, eyebrows raised. 

“No,” Rhaenys flipped her brown hair back, “We will keep on searching.” 

“How long must I wait for you to purchase a simple bathing suit?” 

“It is you who will be buying it,” she smiled and fluttered her eyelashes. 

“You’re getting the most expensive one you can find, are you not?” 

“Maybe,” his niece grinned and disappeared between the shelves. 

In the end, she returned with a baywatch-esque bathing suit and a purple bikini. 

“Which one?” she asked, “I can’t make up my mind.” Viserys rolled his eyes, most likely tired of having been standing around for close to half-an-hour. 

“I don’t care, the red?” he replied tersely and caused Rhaenys to purse her lips. 

“No need to be a fucking dick, Vissy-- you were the one who suggested we go to the beach, so you’ll have to stand me searching for the appropriate attire because I will not go to the beach in a scuba-diving suit!” she flailed her arms and Viserys winced.

“Fine, fine,” he apologised, “You will look wondrous in whatever you choose, but the purple goes with your eyes. Now please, can we go and pay?” he pleaded. 

“Was that so hard?” 

“No,” he murmured petulantly.

“I can’t hear you,” Rhaenys said, “Speak up.” 

“It was not hard, but your stay here will be, if you continue with that cheek, dear niece,” he warned wickedly. 

“You’d only dare,” she gasped, “One of my tears and grandmother will have that shiny black card from your hand in an instant.” 

“You are truly evil,” Viserys shook his head, silver-gold curls following the motion.

“I’ve learned from the best,” she stuck her tongue out. 

“I would say we’ve reached an impasse.” 

“Yes,” the brown-haired woman agreed, “Card, please.” 

Once they’d paid and settled back in the car, Rhaenys called Aegon once more, to see if he’d changed his mind about joining. 

“Come on, Egg. It’ll be fun!” she told her brother excitedly, “We will finally see if Vissy turns to ashes in the sun.” Her uncle simply scoffed.

“As fun as that sounds, I just threw up my water. The water I drank five minutes ago, Rhae!” he groaned into the phone, “So I’m passing.” 

“Your loss,” then she turned concerned, “Pop an ibuprofen and sleep it off, bro. This’ll teach you the vital lesson of not going batshit crazy for the second  _ actual  _ party you’ve ever been to.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Aegon groaned, “See y’all later.” 

“So I take it he’s not coming?” Viserys asked, rolling down the window.

“No,” Rhaenys sighed, leaning against his shoulder, “He shouldn’t have drank so much.” 

“He’s young. You were young once, were you not?” 

“It’s called not taking on more than you can handle.” 

“It is a part of growing, sweet Rhae. How will he know what he can and can’t handle, if he never tries it?” 

“Fair enough but would you say the same if it was crack, Vissy?” She inquired with a raised eyebrow, knowing it was an unfair rebuttal. 

“There’s some things you shouldn’t ever touch and crack is amongst one of those,” her uncle winced but the tone he carried was playful, “I much more preferred the rich man’s drug, in my first year,” he finished with a wink.” 

“No,” Rhaenys gasped, continuing their banter, “Cocaine, really? Are you like an addict, uncle? Is this what you spend grandmother’s money on? Baking soda and a little bit of the coca plant?” Of course she didn’t believe he was addicted to drugs  _ but honestly, people hide it really well these days.  _

“That is not how it works, Rhaenys, did you even go to college? You Americans are well-known for your indulgences there and are all so fond of boasting that whatever happens at college stays at college.” 

“I literally took two years at college, got a degree in web developing because I always knew that I’d work at the corp anyway and chose something which could come in useful. Dad made me go to college because it’d look good, so I didn’t really have the full experience, if you will.” 

“What did you do then?” Viserys asked incredulously, like he couldn’t believe she just went to college, studied and got her degree. “Those are literally the glory years of most people’s lives.” 

“You’ll have  _ a lot  _ of them to look back on,” Rhaenys raised her eyebrows and wished she had a cup of coffee or something of the sort, because the tea was scalding hot. 

“But you didn’t party, at all?” 

“Of course,” she said defensively, “I just didn’t go batshit crazy and take whatever pill was offered to me because I am a responsible adult, who does not do cocaine!”  _ Mother would actually kill me.  _ That and she did not want to disappoint Elia, who had fought so fiercely to raise her children into respectable human beings. _ It fucking hurts more to see disappointment in their eyes, than them yelling and raging at you.  _

“I don’t do cocaine,” Viserys scoffed, “I only did it like twice because after that, you get addicted, and even though I do  _ not  _ have an addictive personality, I had no wish to gamble. Rest assured, sweet niece.” 

“Good,” she smirked, “Because I would totally have tattled on you to grandmother and you know that she’d get on a flight here, to roast the shit out of you, along with moving in.” Viserys winced and shook his head desperately. “Oh I’m not done yet,” Rhaenys said wickedly, “You know she’d bring…  _ grandfather! _ Just to torture you.” 

“I’d actually just overdose at that point,” her uncle sucked in a sharp breath, “She’d force me to listen to his Charles Manson-esque ramblings and have me take him out in public, which wouldn’t work well for anyone and in the meantime, she’d have tea with her nice little British friends, all at my becost!” 

“Her becost, uncle,” Rhaenys corrected. 

“Tomato, tomato,” he shrugged, “Shall we head for the beach, then? You’ve been droning on like a parrot on repeat.” 

“Hmph,” the brown-haired Targaryen rolled her eyes, but Viserys leaned in to kiss her cheek playfully as he put on his seatbelt. 

“You know I’m only grinding your gears.” His lilac eyes were positively ethereal in the light of the sun’s sharp rays and she could not help but be awestruck by them, even though she had purple eyes as well. His were the lightest of all his siblings.  _ Dany’s are violet and in-between, father’s are a dark indigo but Viserys’s are absolutely breathtaking. No, ew, _ she told herself,  _ stop or you will have to wake Freud from the dead.  _

“Wait,” she mumbled as Viserys began driving and he shot her a quick, questioning glance, “Wasn’t Freud like an avid cocaine user?” That caused her uncle to snort and laugh. 

“Yeah, I took psychology for a year and the man was crazy but oddly coherent in his research, considering that he was coked up for most of it. Did you know that he thought cocaine to be this wonder-drug that did not cause addiction, so he got all his friends hooked on it and yeah it was just a messy situation.” 

“He seems like he was a messy man.” 

“Aren’t we all?” 

*** 

“It’s filthy!” she hissed at Viserys when they found the bathroom where she was going to change into the bikini that she’d bought, “I’ll get an infection.” 

“So you have arachnophobia but is also a hypochondriac?” 

“It is not funny, Viserys!” 

“Well I did play against this girl who had agoraphobia once. She’d not left her house in years, so fret not, you are not the worst of the bunch.” 

“Hmph.” 

“But you do come close,” her uncle smirked and she punched him on the arm. 

“Ow, fine!” the silver-gold haired man exclaimed, “Go change in the car, then. It has tinted windows anyway.” 

“You know that’s illegal, right?” she said snootily as they began walking back to the car, through a throng of people who decided that today was as good a day as any for a quick swim. 

“I always forward the fines to my mother.” 

“One day, they’re gonna revoke your license, you do know that?” 

“I’ll buy a new one on the black market,” Viserys grinned. 

“I’ll  _ sell  _ you on the black market for spares,” she grumbled, “You get like sixty grand for a liver, I think. Imagine what I’d do with that money.”  _ A Lamborghini sounds nice.  _

“Good luck selling mine, it’s on its last life after those first three years at Uni.” 

“I’ll just take your kidneys and your retinas then,” Rhaenys stuck her tongue out at an amused Viserys, “They d-” she made to continue but suddenly, she was hoisted up behind his back, with her uncle’s arms around her legs.

“Let me down!” she squealed but Viserys only laughed.

“That’s what you get for your impoliteness.”

“No but seriously, let me the fuck down,” Rhaenys whined and punched his back, to no avail because her uncle would not relent.  _ What the fuck, is he pure muscle? _

“How about no?”  _ I’ll wipe that smug tone right from your mouth. _

“It’s humiliating, Viserys!” Rhaenys was mortified and caught some people staring from the corner of her eyes, causing her cheeks to heat up.

“That’s the point, dear,” he paused, “But there is a magic word.” 

“I’m sorry!” 

“That’s two words, do you have number dyslexia as well?” he asked. 

“I will stab you in the neck, Susan,” Rhaenys growled and finally, with one last laugh, Viserys placed her on the ground.

“That’ll teach you.” The fiery Targaryen knew that she was being petty but was kind of pissed off, so she pushed past her uncle and stalked toward the car, Viserys shouting apologies behind her. _ Annoying bitch, _ she grumbled under her breath and finally reached the black mercedes and swung the door open, just for her uncle to close it again. 

“Don’t be salty, Rhae, it wasn’t that serious.” Rhaenys turned to her uncle and narrowed her eyes.

“Well forgive me for not enjoying being  _ manhandled _ ,” she spit. 

“You’re being dramatic,” her uncle said incredulously but then turned thoughtful, “Is this the month-” 

“-Think very carefully about what you are about to say, uncle,” Rhaenys warned, “And if you want to wake up with certain parts still intact and  _ attached  _ to your body, tomorrow.” 

“You’re bluffing,” he scoffed but she rose an eyebrow and leaned in closer, as if she was telling him a secret. 

“I know where the knives are kept.” 

“You are actually out of your mind, niece.” 

“I have an excuse,” she shrugged and spotted a prime spot by the beach to place their blankets. _ I should change quickly and take it before anyone steals it from us. _

“You can’t freeride the Lyanna situation for the rest of your life,” Viserys exclaimed. 

“My therapist said the same thing but honestly I feel like I’ll override that.” 

“Go change,” he told her, pushing the bag into her arms. 

“Fine,” she huffed, opening the car door and entered.  _ This is going to be difficult,  _ she realised but quickly got to work, removing the flowy, floral maxi-dress she’d chosen because it was easy for a beach day. Then, she ripped the tags off the bikini and put it on, which proved to be an exercise, to say the least.  _ I should get an olympic fucking gold medal for this.  _

Finally when done, she put on her flats and opened the car door, noticing Viserys leaning against it, playing a game on his phone but without his t-shirt on.  _ Holy fucking fuck, _ was all that she could think when she looked at him because… he looked like one of those Abercrombie & Fitch models. _ I need electro-shock therapy, _ she thought but another, more depraved corner of her mind simply shrugged and stated;  _ You’re a Targaryen, if it didn’t matter to Jon and Dany, why should it matter to you?  _

“Ready?” Viserys broke her out of those depraved thoughts and she nodded, “Good,” he continued and slung the nike duffle bag over his shoulder. They walked in silence for a while because Rhaenys was as stubborn as her mother and did not plan on apologising.  _ I have nothing to be sorry for. _ Yet, she the irritation from earlier had left her. 

“Are you still pissy about earlier?” her uncle asked after a when they were close to the spot that she’d chosen, close to the water. 

When Rhaenys did not reply, Viserys put his arms around her and she squirmed in his grasp. 

“Don’t be mad,” he murmured and she huffed but smiled, nonetheless.

“You’re buying me ice-cream.” 

“Is all I am a cash machine to you?” he asked in mock-offense.

“Maybe,” she grinned. 

“I’ll tickle the shit out of you if you don’t wipe that smug grin off your face.” When he released her, she felt a slight disappointment.  _ He was warm and cuddly. _

“And I’ll pour this sprite over your head.”

“I can just jump into the water,” he stuck his tongue out and Rhaenys instead bent down to place the blanket and lay down. 

“And pollute it with your very being?” she murmured and laid down, enjoying the pleasant heat of the sun on her skin, “How very environmentally unfriendly of you.” 

“That was uncalled for, niece,” her uncle said but when she put a hand to shield her eyes from the sun and squinted, she saw that he was smiling. “Now scoot over, insolent child,” Viserys gently pushed her to the side and laid down, sighing in bliss. 

“You’re gonna be red as a lobster in a few hours,” Rhaenys smirked but Viserys only chuckled, stating that he was a Targaryen and they had a certain tolerance for the heat that regular people just couldn’t boast. 

“I’ll be delightfully tan when I return to Uni.” 

“For the  _ seventh  _ year,” she laughed.

“It’s the thought that counts.” 

“Yeah I’m sure that’s what grandmother thinks.” 

“I think she feels like she has to make up for dad’s shifty behavior during my childhood via paying for my expenses and honestly, I’m not complaining. It’s better than therapy.” 

“I think the car I got for my 16th birthday was an attempt for dad to buy back my love but it was fucking amazing, I gotta’ admit.” 

“Aren’t we just two fucked up parasites?” Viserys smiled and Rhaenys nodded. 

“Soon to be ex-parasite. I’m starting work soon, so you’re on your own, Vissy.” 

“You know I hate that nickname,” he groaned and Rhaenys turned to lay on her side, watching the sun touch his silver-gold curls and turn them into sparkling, precious metals. 

“Why?” she asked in a condescending voice, “Does being called Vissy make you pissy?” 

“Must you be such a pain in the arse?” Viserys asked with a sigh.

“You love it, don’t deny it,” she smirked, moving to lay on her stomach as her uncle sat up and yawned. 

“I will deny it until I’m ashes on a pyre.” 

“Tomorrow, then?” she asked giggling. 

“Tomorrow,” she heard him agree softly and then his hands were on her waist, gently dragging her toward him until she was sitting up, leaning against his chest with her head resting in the crook of his neck. 

“I have missed you, little Rhae,” Viserys murmured with his arms clasped around her midsection, “You were still a hormonal teen, last time I saw you.” 

“And you were still tall and slightly chubby Viserys who gamed too much for his own good and sat with me when I whined about Renly Baratheon.” Her uncle chuckled and she opened her eyes to see him staring absentmindedly at the shore as she spoke, watching the slight waves coming in. 

“How things have changed,” he murmured, “And I never liked Renly, plus it was so obvious that he was not very fond of women, in that aspect, otherwise he wouldn’t have treated you like that.” 

“I guess, he’s with Loras Tyrell now and they seem happy together but I’m kind of happy it ended, if I’m being honest,” Rhaenys shrugged. 

“How come?” 

“Well his brother was always home and you know how Robert and Lyanna have history, so it was always kind of awkward hearing him trash dad, but it turned lowkey funny at the same time, after he’d had a few drinks.” 

“What’d he say?” Viserys snorted and she giggled.  _ He was so petty and honestly, I probably would’ve laughed more at it today. _

“He’d moan about the and I quote _ ‘silver-bitch who needs to get his ass handed to him’ _ Then he’d go in on Lyanna and call her  _ ‘A lying fucking hag who ruined her life’ _ And how he’d treated her like a queen but  _ ‘It seems anyone these days get on their fucking knees after one look from the purple eyed cunt. _ ”’

“Yeah I see how it was kind of awkward,” her uncle agreed but then he snorted and broke out in laughter, “I’m renaming Rhaegar in my contacts as  _ ‘The silver-bitch’ _ ”

“You’re such a snake, Vissy,” she grinned, “You love dad.” 

“That doesn’t mean that he’s not a daft bitch on the occasion. There was a reason that I took your mother’s side in the situation-- Because it was the  _ right  _ side.” 

“Nawe, is that a sign of actual morals within you?” 

“I mean,” Viserys began seriously, “Your mother was the best fucking thing to ever happen to him, you know? Elia was kind, beautiful and dutiful, in our world, there weren’t many women like that. And then he didn’t even cheat with an actual grown woman, he chose a high-schooler and knocked her up, how embarrassing isn’t that? I wouldn’t wish what your mother had to go through on anyone and even though I love my brother, it was a fucked up thing to do. I had a real hard time even engaging with him for months.” 

“I never knew it manifested that hard within you,” she murmured, “You were always so carefree.” 

“I wanted to make you forget about it when you were with me, or speaking to me. I left not long after that, but still tried to be there for you.” 

“That was thoughtful of you,” Rhaenys said softly, “I really needed it.”

“Anything for my little Rhae,” he turned and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. 

“It was hard not seeing you for all these years. It was always you and I as kids, since Egg, Jon and Dany were the trio and then you left. We had our phone calls and skype chats but it wasn’t the same, y’know?” 

“Yeah,” Viserys murmured, “Do you want to know what Rhaegar told me when he handed you to me? As you were newly born, all wrinkly with dark purple eyes that’d grow into lavender as you aged and tufts of dark hair on your little head?” There was a soft tilt to his words, as if the memory warmed him. 

"What?” she smiled, putting her hands on his arms, tracing little circles as she gazed at the people on the beach, bathing and tanning. Children running around, squealing and playing. 

“He told me that you were my niece and that it was my job to keep you safe and happy when they weren’t there to do it.” 

“How sweet,” she murmured, “I assume you were horrified? Having a small infant thrust in your arms like that?” 

“No,” Viserys chuckled, “On the contrary: Elia tells me I took you in my arms and kissed your head, calling you ‘Jaenys’ or something of the sort, because I could not as of yet roll my r’s.” 

“Nawe that’s cute.” 

“And,” he began proudly, “She told me that you smiled, so I take that as an absolute win.” 

“Was grandmother and grandfather there, as well?” 

“Yeah, I remember mom went fucking crazy when Rhaegar told her that Elia was in labor. She packed us up in the car, dad as well and rushed to the hospital.” 

“How chaotic,” Rhaenys laughed, feeling a slight breeze cool her skin. 

“Yeah but you were already born when we got there. Dad went all misty-eyed, it was one of his good days and I think he told Rhaegar that it was a year of the dragons or some crazy bullshit like that.” 

“Grandfather was always very peculiar,” Rhaenys agreed.

“Rhaegar tells me he was normal once but I kind of can’t see it.” 

“At least he’s not like… dangerous. He always likes to tell me about our history and such and it pleases him when I act interested.” 

“He can go on for fucking hours, do you want to know why I went to school even if I was dying-- instead of staying home?” 

“Because he’d never leave you be?” 

“Exactly, which is why I preferred to sleep at the nurse’s office instead.” 

“Poor little Vissy,” Rhaenys said in that baby-voice that people used, “Had to rest in school because papa Aerys would tell you stories.” 

“I hope they were stories, because honestly it was some wild shit he’d be on about, sometimes.” 

“Mom would always tell me to go to school and call her at lunch if I couldn’t bear it. But dad always let me stay home, which is a power that I may have abused in my later years.” 

“Did you skip school?” her uncle gasped scandalously. 

“Like you haven’t been doing it, these past six years.” 

“Hmph,” Viserys mumbled, “Touché.” Rhaenys noticed the ice-cream stand, not too far away and felt the craving for some chocolate and pear ice-cream, so she stood up and grabbed Viserys’s arm.

“Come on, Ice-cream.” 

“I was very comfortable,” he groaned but joined her as they walked across the soft sand. 

“Ice-cream,” she turned to him with a blinding smile. 

“Ice-cream,” he echoed and reached into the pocket of his shorts, for a few crumpled up notes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, just a disclaimer: This is a crackfic, none of it's supposed to be taken very seriously and having said that: I am not making light of drug addiction, etc, it's a very serious thing and nor is the fic condoning it. I don't feel like I have to say it but I am, anyway. 
> 
> Chapter three will be the last set in London, and then we'll leave Viserys for a while and some shit will go down back in the US :))
> 
> PS: this hasn't been edited.


	3. A trip down memory lane.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sometimes…,” he began, shaking his head “I wonder…”  
“What?” she sat up, crossing her arms over her chest and staring back pointedly.  
“Whether you have all your marbles or not.”  
“I’m a Targaryen,” she smirked, “Do any of us really have all our marbles?”  
“No,” Uncle Viserys murmured with a peculiar look in his eyes, “I suppose not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I may have been wrong about there only being one chapter left in London, there will actually be one more, then we head to the states and deal with some shit there :)
> 
> Don't forget to leave a kudos if you enjoyed this story and pleaseeee comment down below. 
> 
> PS: it hasn't been edited (as per usual lol)

On the day before they were set to head back to the states, Viserys forced them all out to the Westfield mall because it was their last day in London and for some reason, they hadn’t visited the largest mall in Europe, as of yet. Rhaenys wasn’t against the idea… until she was woken at 10:00 by a chirpy silver-gold haired man and the smell of freshly brewed coffee. 

“Get up, we have a big day ahead,” Viserys chirped, poking her shoulder. 

“No, go away,” Rhaenys groaned, feeling as if her head would split in half, “I fell asleep at like 06:00, thanks to you!” Last night, Viserys had brought along a few of his Uni friends, who in turn, brought a few of their friends and combined with alcohol, it made for a very long night. But that hadn’t been the reason why Rhaenys fell asleep so late. 

Things had started out great, she’d bonded with this girl called Irri, who she was pretty sure Dany knew as well and Egg had invited Satin, who was sweeter than she’d imagined and so courteous. The other ones, she remained friendly with but could barely recall their names after all the liquor._ There was Dan and then… Harry? They called him the heir, but as far as I know, it wasn’t the actual Prince Harry of England… or was it? No, stupid, Prince Harry is a second son, William is the heir. _

After a while, they’d ordered pizza, collectively roasted Viserys for being in college for so long, watched America’s funniest home videos (for some weird reason), and laughed their asses off. Then, somewhere between 03:00 and 05:00, Irri, Satin and most of the others began leaving but a few stayed and one of them began coming onto her uncle, pretty hardcore. 

Rhaenys at that point, felt close to passing out and decided she’d rather go to bed before doing something she’d might regret, like wringing the girl’s neck like a bell. So, she duly went to find her brother, to say goodnight. There were a lot of things that the young Targaryen couldn’t remember from the previous night, but finding her brother passed out in the bathtub in fetal position was not one of them and the memory was enough to make her giggle underneath the covers. _ What a fucking imbecile. _

“What’s so fun under there?” she heard Viserys ask and then the covers were ripped from their firm hold on her body.

“No, it’s cold!” Rhaenys whined, causing her uncle to snort. 

“It’s summer!” 

“I am wearing a tank top and shorts, you know I don’t thrive in cold environments!” 

“Sometimes…,” he began, shaking his head “I wonder…” 

“What?” she sat up, crossing her arms over her chest and staring back pointedly. 

“Whether you have all your marbles or not.” 

“I’m a Targaryen,” she smirked, “Do any of us really have all our marbles?” 

“No,” Uncle Viserys murmured with a peculiar look in his eyes, “I suppose not.” 

Then, he laid down on the bed, propping up his elbows and staring at her.

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to rest for a little while longer.” 

“Now we’re talking,” she smiled, all sparkling purple eyes and a blinding headache that seemed to have somewhat dulled. 

“How do you not have a hangover?” Rhaenys asked, snuggling closer to Viserys and closing her eyes. 

“I made sure to drink plenty of water.” 

“That can’t be the only thing,” she mumbled in disbelief, feeling Viserys’s chuckle before hearing it. 

“It’s a gift.” 

After she’d found a blanket to tuck Aegon in with, Rhaenys had shouted a quick goodnight to her uncle, the sound of the girl’s high-pitched giggles proving to flame her temper, even more and gone to bed. Viserys, a few of the others had still been going strong in the living room and she’d found herself lulled to sleep by their noises, until waking up to a bang on the wall next to her. The room belonging to the owner of the apartment._ Well… inhabitant-- Viserys, not grandmother. _

The brown-haired Targaryen had been the reincarnation of that blinking-guy from the office that had turned into a meme. She’d heard that obnoxious, loud giggle and known that it was probably going to be a long night, if the woman was as as her laugh, in other aspects of living-- until she heard Viserys’s drunken voice cut through the walls. 

_ "Quiet, or you’ll wake my niece and nephew. I have no wish to scar them beyond what they most likely had to endure in my brother’s care.” The woman only laughed in response and Rhaenys put the pillow around her head, to drown out the noises of drunken making out and other… questionable noises that she really didn’t want to know what they were. After a few minutes, though, things turned silent and she dared to remove the pillow and strained her ears to hear the muffled conversation. _

_ “We shouldn’t, I have family present.” _

_ “They’re passed out,” the girl’s heavy accented voice cut through, surprisingly sharp. _

_ “Yeah, well it’s gonna be awkward in the morning if they’re not and my mother will kill me if she hears of it.” _

_ “Isn’t your family like super close? I don’t think they’d mind.” Breathy, kissing noises ensued, Of course I fucking mind, you idiot, Rhaenys whispered to herself. _

_ “You really have no idea,” Viserys’s voice cut through. _

After that, she couldn’t remember shit, but assumed her uncle had sent the girl home. 

“Hey what happened to that girl?” 

“What girl?” Viserys’s voice was soft, _ he’s probably half-asleep. _

“The one you were going to fuck with Egg and I in _ your _home. You do know that’s very creepy uncle of you?” 

“I didn’t do it,” he mumbled defensively, “Proves I have some morals, doesn’t it?” 

“Maybe,” she yawned and opened her lavender eyes to peer at him.

“And don’t act as if a friday night at my brother’s wouldn’t have been worse,” her uncle drawled, meeting her gaze. 

“Hmm,” Rhaenys pondered and suddenly winced, a very unwelcome (and suppressed) memory polluting her mind, “There was that one time when I was fourteen and Egg was twelve and… Dad forgot we were home.” 

Viserys’s lips quirked upward into an amused sigh, “No?” 

“Oh yes,” she nodded, “The look on his face as he saw Egg and I on the couch, pale and traumatized, was sort of amusing in a fucked up way.” 

“What are we, if not fucked up?” 

“True, true,” she allowed but had to bite her lips to suppress a giggle, “I think Egg asked mom some weird question after that and she forced us to fess up to it. She lost her marbles over it and Arthur literally had to hold her back from pouncing on dad.” 

“An admirable woman, your mother truly is.” Then he turned thoughtful, “But who forgets that their children are _ in _the house?” 

“I don’t know,” Rhaenys shrugged, “I think he thought we were at a sleepover or something at Loras and Margaerys’s but that got cancelled a few days earlier, cause Marge caught the flu. But yeah, mom wondered the same thing.” 

“What did your stepfather have to say on the matter? Arthur was always a sensible guy with refined takes on different matters.” 

“Yeah, I don’t think he said much… Except I distinctly recall a _ ‘Yeah, what the fuck?’ _ After mom yelled at both Dad and Lyanna, asking _ ‘Who the fuck forgets their children are home, when they only see them once a week?”’ _

“I mean, she does have a point,” Viserys laughed, “Your dad can be so daft and oblivious sometimes, I truly wonder how he managed to keep Jon a secret for so long.” 

“Don’t we all?” However Jon came to be, he was her and Egg’s brother and they loved him dearly. _ He thought we’d all hate him when we first met him and it was so sad to see, the way he withdrew himself as if he had to armor up and go to war. _

Rhaenys’s mother had taken the situation in stride and never blamed Jon, she’d even invited him along for their annual family trip to Dorne, in Spain-- as well as opening up her home to him, whenever he would need it. Once, Jon had even cried to Elia, when he joined them for autumn break. _ He thought I had gone to sleep but I was down getting water and saw it. _ Her brother had crumbled and asked Elia why she was so nice to him, why she didn’t hate him. 

_ It was late, Rhaenys knew but she was thirsty and didn’t want to drink the tap water in the bathroom-- the only remaining option being to get a water bottle from downstairs. Trying to be quiet, because Egg was sleeping and Arthur too, because he’d had a long day at work, she tip-toed down the stairs and snuck into the kitchen. _

_ As she’d quietly grabbed a clear bottle, she heard a soft, pained sort of sound alongside hushed, comforting murmurs. The kind that her mom would use when she or Egg had hurt themselves or were sad for some reason. It was coming from the living room and the young Targaryen’s curiosity got the better of her, so she padded to the hall leading into the living room and stayed a silent shadow. _

_ They did say that curiosity killed the cat, but Rhaenys was a dragon, not a cat. At least that’s what her grandfather told her, but grandmother, dad, mom and practically everyone told her to not take what Grandpa Aerys said seriously. _

_ It’s Jon, she realised, recognising the dark mop of brown curls and pale skin, lighter than even Egg’s. _

_ “What’s wrong, Jon?” Elia reached out worriedly, “Do you want to go home? Should I call your mother?” Her mom was on better terms with Lyanna than she was with Rhaenys’s dad. The boy shook his head fiercely but allowed himself to be held, when Elia put her arms around him soothingly. Jon even clung onto her mother, as if she was air and he was drowning. _

_ “If you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I won’t be able to help you, Jon,” Rhaenys heard her mother murmur as she stroked the boy’s dark hair. _

_ “That’s it,” her brother sniffled, “Nothing’s wrong but everything is.” _

_ “Go on,” Elia Martell urged tenderly. _

_ “You’re so nice to me and I don’t understand why. I’m a constant taint on you, the reminder of what dad did. The way people stare at me sometimes… like I’m a shame, even uncle Ned’s wife does it. Cat’s nice and all but she has such a cold look in her eyes. As if I offend her by being there.” _

_ “Don’t think of it like that, Jon,” her mother pulled away to stare the boy in his eyes, “Rhaegar and I’s relationship was strained, years before I found out about you. We were broken but somehow we couldn’t let go and that gave me the reason to, but you were never the problem, Jon. You never did anything but be born and were such a sweet boy, what would being hostile do for me? Would it undo what happened? No.” _

_ Jon put his arms around her mother this time, he was only twelve but was almost taller than Elia. He'd gotten his height from Rhaegar Targaryen. “I’m sorry,” she heard her brother whisper and the sight made Rhaenys all kinds of happy and sad. _

_ “You have nothing to be sorry for, Jon,” Elia began, “The sins of our fathers are not ours to bear, learn that. Everything will be easier once you do. Anyone who acts as if you do not belong with them can go to hell.” _

_ “I love you, Elia,” Jon said and Rhaenys decided it was time for her to go to bed. _

_ As she was walking away, she heard her mother’s tender reply and knew that somehow, everything would be alright. _

_ “And I love you too, Jon.” _

_ The next day, Rhaenys forced the entire family to watch spooky halloween movies and made sure to include Jon as best she could, because he was a part of their family and she would make sure he felt so. _

“Wait when was it that you dated Renly, now again?” a deep voice broke her out of her thoughts. 

“From like sixteen to seventeen, I think, why?” Rhaenys questioned. 

“No reason,” Viserys murmured softly, “How long did it take to realise he played for the other team?” 

“I didn’t know until a few months after we broke up, when Marge said that she’d seen him and Loras together. It honestly came as a shock, but now that I think about it…” 

“It makes sense?” her uncle offered and Rhaenys noticed the dark half-moons under his eyes and the way his pale eyes seemed to glow. 

“I mean… yeah, kind of,” she began unsurely, “He wasn’t really into doing all the things couples do. Kissing was alright, I guess and cuddling too but we felt more like best friends, rather than a couple. And sex was kind of weird,” she winced and Viserys rose his eyebrows. 

“Like bad weird… or kinky weird?” He seemed a bit rigid now and she was slightly uncomfortable, as well. Targaryen or not, it was kind of weird talking about it to her dad’s brother. 

“A bit of both? We didn’t really do it much and it seemed to be kind of a chore, rather than a fun thing. As if we did it just because it was expected of us, or cool, or because everyone else was doing it and we didn’t want to be the odd ones out.” 

“It’s not supposed to be like that,” her uncle murmured, looking into her eyes. 

“I know, but it wasn’t like a horror story, it just wasn’t very good. At first I thought it was a skill thing, you know? It was both our first time but the passing of time didn’t really shape it up either.” 

“Honestly, my heart bleeds for you. First times are a bitch.” 

“Shut up,” she grumbled but her lips quirked up into a smile when she noticed the amusement written all over his face. 

“I thought it was normal and it didn’t really bother me because Renly was sweet and everything isn’t about sex,” Rhaenys said, eyeing Viserys pointedly, “But then I heard Marge talking about Gwayne and how it didn’t really compare to what I had with Renly.” 

“Isn’t that Tyrell woman a little vixen? Aegon seems smitten by her.” 

“Yeah,” she smiled, “Marge may act as if she’s unbothered, but I can tell that she’s into Egg, too and it’s _ so _cute.” 

“You’re gushing, it’s unsettling,” Viserys mumbled with a crooked smile, closing his eyes again. _ His eyelashes are more brown, with flecks of gold. _

“It’s cute!” Then she flicked a finger on his cheek.

“Ow!” Viserys exclaimed, rubbing the side of his face. 

“We’re having a conversation. As you like to say uncle; It’s _ impolite _of you to zone out.” 

“I don’t _ zone _out,” he scoffed, “And you do it all the time!” 

“Well I do hope that your experiences grew to be… everything you wished for and more.” 

“Nawe, how considerate of you, Vissy, my soft little Snickers bar,” Rhaenys cooed and Viserys winced, “And they did. I met Jaime Lannister after that… or well he’d broken up with some chick and I’d just broken up with Renly and found out he was gay; so we were kinda vulnerable and hurt. One thing led to another and we were kind of a thing but not, for a year.” 

“Isn’t his sister a bitch?” 

“Cersei?” Rhaenys asked and sucked in a sharp breath when Viserys nodded, “Oh she is a force of nature, a really mean hurricane but Jaime is nothing like her, personality-wise.” 

“Oh,” her uncle mumbled with a cryptic look in his eyes, the sun playing tricks on his face and covering it in both light and dark, “What is he like, then?” 

“He’s fun,” she smiled fondly, “But also nice and even though he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, clever in his own way. Plus he was great in other ways, when it came down to it.” 

“Are those the lips you speak to your father with?” Viserys asked scandalously, causing Rhaenys to giggle.

“Honestly we don’t really speak much. I don’t know how to put it but there’s like… a layer of ice between us. He tries and It’s sad but my therapist says that I’m not over what happened when I was a kid and just compartmentalized, until it’s all just bursting out of me in my adult years.” 

“You and your therapist,” her uncle tsk-tsked but it wasn’t mean-spirited or anything. _ Viserys was always better at making jokes about dark and sad things, rather than deal with them. Kind of like me. _

“Would you like to meet him?” she teased, “He’s hot but I think he’s married. You could totally be his side-piece though. You’re twinky enough.” 

“I fear I do not play for that team…” he began, reaching out to play with her dark hair, “Except that one time in first year with-- wait did you call me a twink?” Confusion, a bit of incredulousness doused in amusement showed on his face. 

“You’re a twink, admit it,” she stuck her tongue out. 

“I can assure you-” her uncle began wickedly but then another voice cut him off. 

“-Rhae?” Aegon asked, waltzing in and clutching his head. 

“Egg,” she greeted, her previous headache almost gone but Aegon looked as if his was still raging. 

“I hurt _ everywhere _,” her brother groaned, plopping down next to Viserys and Rhaenys on the bed.

“There is someone already occupying this space, Aegon, do you think me Poland?” Viserys whined, wrenching his arm free.

“Stop, please,” Aegon begged, “It _ hurts _.” 

“You shouldn’t drink that much, then,” Viserys replied snootily, causing Aegon to kick him lightly and crawl over to Rhaenys, resting his head on her shoulder. 

“How dare you?” their uncle screeched but Rhaenys unearthed the amusement that laid underneath his false anger, “Do you need a good clout in the ear?” 

“Don’t be cruel, Vissy, Egg is hurting and you’re clucking like a mother-hen.” 

“What she said,” her brother mumbled and ran his hands through her hair, just like their uncle had, moments before._ It’s always brought him comfort, ever since we were children. _

“I am neither cruel, nor clucking-- simply suggesting a bit of corporal punishment to quench the rebellious attitude that the young treat their elders with. You, yourself could do with a good spanking.” 

“Oh, are you offering?” she mocked, “I repeat, uncle, you are only a few years older than us,” Rhaenys smiled, cradling Aegon’s head and running her hand through his silver-gold curls, so like Viserys’s. 

“If you hit me, I’ll tell mom, the police and dad that you touched me on the _ red _parts of the doll,” came Aegon’s muffled voice and the statement caused his sister to chuckle.

“You’re eighteen,” Viserys deadpanned, “And _ no one _would believe you.” 

“Well if Rhaenys agrees, they _ will. _ Besides, you’re kind of a creepy uncle.” 

“Why does _ everyone _say that? What have I done to warrant that label?” Viserys was biting his lip to keep a smile from forming when she looked at him, sticking her tongue out, a gesture that he returned. 

“Well,” Aegon began, speaking more to Rhaenys’s neck than their uncle, “You just have that energy. Uncle Oberyn is weird but not creepy, you’re creepy without being scary. It’s hard to explain.” 

“Thank you?” their uncle began unsurely, “I guess?” 

“You do have a sketchy vibe, Vissy. You’ve been in college for almost a _ decade, _ with no job and a nice as fuck apartment that your mom pays for, with a bunch of geeky shit like your video-game room. But then you’re so well articulated and speak as if you’re revived from the 18th century, we barely ever see you in the sun and you’re fit but you don’t show it off and you pretend to be arrogant but you’re kind of nice. And then no one really knows what the fuck it is that you _ actually _do. So,” she began, all in one breath, “I’ve come to the conclusion that you’re a vampire.” 

“We established that when you arrived, and my prey of choice is pretty, young things like you,” their uncle winked, “And if you want to see me shirtless, all you need to do is ask.” _ Maybe I will. _

“Is that all you got from the monster of an essay she just recited to you?” Aegon asked but then shuddered, “That’s gross. Dany and Jon get enough aunt and nephew action. This family is so fucking weird, why can’t we be normal?” Egg whined into the crook of her neck. _ I second that. _

“Oh, shh, Egg,” Rhaenys smirked, kissing the top of his head, “At least no one’s grandpa level weird.” 

“I’d take a shot to that,” Viserys nodded heavily.

“Also, why did I wake up in the bathtub with a blanket over me?” 

“You passed out there, I tucked you in so that you wouldn’t get cold,” Rhaenys murmured, stroking the back of his head. 

“Thank you, _ sis. _” 

“No problem,_ bro. _” 

“Shall we get up?” their uncle asked suddenly, “It’s 11:00 and we’re going into town! It’s your last day, my sweet grasshoppers.” 

“There he goes again,” Aegon mumbled as Rhaenys placed a final kiss on his head and sat up.

“That clout in the ear will make you see stars, I assure you, so get your ass up, now.” 

“Fine,” Viserys’s nephew grumbled and stood up. 

Then, they all headed to the kitchen, where Rhaenys discovered a missed call from her mother.


	4. A Family Affair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “She said to send her love and kisses to Aegon,” he handed the phone back to Rhaenys.  
“Have you no shame,” Rhaenys raised an eyebrow.  
“For what?” Viserys asked incredulously, “If you’re talking about that one time in Uni where I engaged in a blood-sex-ritual of sorts, I am here to tell you that frankly, no I do n-”  
“-I’m talking about sucking up to my mother like that, not what weird shit you got up to at Uni!”she explained, “But what the fuck, uncle… Blood ritual?”  
“I can’t remember exactly what it was,” he shook his head, smiling slightly, “But let me just say, I may or may not have woken up with a pentagram carved into the side of my hip.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been four months but here's a fresh chapter. 
> 
> (There's a part two to this collection, where I post extra snippets of certain events that may have been briefly mentioned in this series, but an entire chapter on them. So for example; Elia finding out about Rhaegar's infidelity, Aerys's crazy christmas parties, Viserys's sick days, and a lot more. So check that out if you want to) ¨
> 
> Anyway; If you enjoyed this story, leave a kudos and a comment about whatever, because they're the only things giving me serotonin at this point lmaoo.
> 
> Until next time,  
<3

“Möööther,” Rhaenys exclaimed as her mother answered the phone-call, earning a questioning glance from Viserys.

“You’re the only one who begins a conversation with those kinds of vowels, Rhae,” Elia’s warm, amused words came. 

“Well, that’s just what it’s like having a really cool kid, get used to it,” she smiled, leaning against the marble bench in Viserys’s’ kitchen, “And blame uncle Arthur, he’s the one who taught me the last three letters of the Swedish alphabet and how to _ properly _enunciate them.” 

“I’ll be sure to talk to him about that.” Rhaenys could imagine the wry smile her mother would most likely be wearing, from beyond the phone. “How’s it going over there?” Elia asked, “I heard Aegon’s been exceeding his capabilities.”

“Yeah and he’s suffered for it, greatly,” Rhaenys replied, eyeing her brother pointedly, who had his head on the kitchen table. _ Is he dead or simply sleeping? I guess I’ll find out later. _

“He’s still young,” her mother mumbled, “Testing his limits and all that.” 

“Yep,” the Targaryen replied, popping the p and eyeing the cherry tomatoes on the counter. 

Viserys looked like he was going to make an omelet and she was not complaining, but he was wearing one of those ridiculous aprons. It was pink and had a bunch of flowers on it, making him look like an old grandma, especially with that silver-gold hair. 

“How are things at home?” she asked absentmindedly, leaning forward to steal a cherry tomato and earning a glare from her uncle. Quite rudely, she stuck her tongue out at him and continued making eye-contact as she popped it into her mouth, making Viserys shake his head. 

“It’s good but we miss you lot, the house seems so empty without our little ones.” 

“We’re not little anymore,” Rhaenys laughed, “And I’m sure Jon and Dany visit, they wouldn’t want you to rot in there.” 

“They do,” her mother laughed, “But not _ nearly _enough for my taste.”

“How’s uncle Arthur then?” 

“Working,” Elia sighed, “Mentoring the kids at that shelter. He has too big of a heart for his body.” 

“He’s a good man, ma’,” she said softly, “You did well.” 

“He is,” her mother agreed, “I lucked out with all of you, didn’t I?” 

“Hmph, maybe not with Aegon,” she giggled, “But with me, of course,” Rhaenys finished arrogantly, earning a chuckle from the other line and another questioning glance from her uncle, as he chopped his onions. 

“With _ all _of you,” Elia made sure to say, “Have you talked to your father lately?” 

“Eh,” Rhaenys began, “Not really. I sent him a text that we’d arrived all safe and shit.” 

“Rhaenys,” came Elia’s scolding voice, “You’ve _ got _to make an effort, he’s really wounded that you won’t interact with him properly.” 

“Mom, you talk to him through intermediates!” the daughter of Elia exclaimed incredulously, stealing another tomato from Viserys’s pile.

“Stop,” he scolded her but she shook her head, chewing loudly. 

“Well I’m not his daughter, am I?” her mother pointed out, “I just want you to have a good relationship, darling. I don’t want you to regret anything when you’re old, y’know.” _ Oh, I’ll regret plenty of things. _

“Yeah mom, I get it,” Rhaenys said instead, “But why mention it… has dad said anything?” 

“No,” Elia told her calmly, “You know your dad wouldn’t ever express that, but I lunched with Lyanna the other day and she says he’s been behaving subdued and has wondered why none of his children will call him.” It was still a bit weird to Rhaenys that once every month or so, her mother would lunch with the woman who kind of… stole her husband and had a kid with him. _ Well… to be fair, apparently dad had told Lyanna that he was separated from mom or some shit. _

“Aegon hasn’t either?” 

“No,” her mother snorted, “He’s too busy drinking himself into a stupor, I would assume.”

“Stupor is a _ light _ way to put it,” she muttered, fully aware she was selling Aegon out, but their mother was chill. Unless there were hardcore drugs and illegal shit involved, Elia could understand wanting to have a good time once in a while. Their father on the other hand, would send Aegon to rehab. _ But the rich people kind. _

“No last hurrahs tonight,” her mother said, “He needs to be well-rested for college.” 

“Duly noted,” Rhaenys smiled. 

“And how is my favorite ex-brother-in-law, Viserys?” her mother squealed suddenly, beginning to fuss. _ Oh, here we go, _ Rhaenys thought, wanting to drown herself in the bathtub. _ Mom absolutely loves Viserys. _

“You love him more than us, admit it,” Rhaenys groaned, giving her unassuming uncle a death-stare.

“Never!” came her mother’s chuckle, “But put him on the phone, I’ve missed that incessant little rascal.” 

“He’s not so little anymore,” she replied darkly, handing the phone to Viserys who’d just finished making a second omelet. 

“Viserys speaking,” her uncle said poshly and she could just hear her mother’s awestruck words. “Oh, they’ve certainly made themselves comfortable,” he continued, whisking the batter in the bowl as he kept the phone in place with his shoulder. 

“Ah, yes, she can be a bit of a spoiled brat, certainly, but she’s all warm and soft when it comes down to it.” After that, he made hming sounds.

“I miss you too, Elia and yes, I shall come and visit. I’m thinking christmas, father will be terribly cross with me if I miss it for another year.” Then, her mother must’ve fawned over his way of speaking or something, because Viserys let out a short laugh and said thank you. 

“Ah, Aegon,” her uncle gave the passed out form by the table a look, cringing, “He is indisposed, I fear. Last night was a little too rough on the lad, it seems.” Then, Viserys said goodbye and placed the third omelet on the third plate. 

“She said to send her love and kisses to Aegon,” he handed the phone back to Rhaenys. 

“Have you no shame,” Rhaenys raised an eyebrow. 

“For what?” Viserys asked incredulously, “If you’re talking about that one time in Uni where I engaged in a blood-sex-ritual of sorts, I am here to tell you that frankly, no I do n-”

“-I’m talking about sucking up to my mother like that, not what weird shit you got up to at Uni!”she explained, “But what the fuck, uncle… Blood ritual?” 

“I can’t remember exactly what it was,” he shook his head, smiling slightly, “But let me just say, I may or may not have woken up with a pentagram carved into the side of my hip.” 

“Oh my gods,” Rhaenys said, “What the fuck?” 

“I mean it wasn’t very deep, I don’t think it scarred, so me and the spirit world should be good, you know?” 

“No, I don’t _ know, _ uncle,” she snorted. 

“You’ve got to live while you’re young, isn’t that what the band you loved a few years ago sang of?” 

“One Direction,” she murmured darkly.” 

“Oh, yes,” he grinned evilly, taking a bite out of his omelet, “One Direction! Ha! you forced me to attend their concert once, and didn’t you tweet for the… Harold? Zade? To marry you or something?”

“Zayn and Harry!” she scolded, her cheeks heating up, “And… I may or may not have done that but it’s none of your business!” Just like her stint reading Y/N fics on wattpad and maybe writing an embarrassing one of her own wasn’t any of Viserys’s business. If he made it his business, she’d never hear the end of it. 

“Whatever,” her uncle smiled, lilac eyes alight with humor, “Let’s feast.” And so, they sat down at the table, tried to wake Aegon and ate their breakfast. 

Then it was shopping time. 

***

After having been in too many stores for her uncle and brother’s sakes, they all decided to have lunch at Spaghetti House, all of them ordering a carbonara each. 

“Well, you heathen,” her uncle began, eyeing her with narrowed eyes, “Have you disrupted my _ fragile _ economy enough? Or would you like another pair of shoes to go with the fifteen items of clothing you _ forced _me to purchase? I am a student, you know?” 

“Oh, Vissy,” she began, rolling her eyes, “It’s grandma’s economy and she loves me. Besides, I didn’t force you to buy anything. You simply love me _ that _much.” 

“Objection, speculation!” Viserys exclaimed, rolling a piece of pasta up his fork. 

“Oh, and what episode of Law and Order did you watch to pick up on that?” She taunted, giggling at the incredulous look he gave her.

“I shall have you know, niece, that I actually studied law for one term.” 

“Until you gave that up,” she snorted, briefly turning to Aegon who looked a bit green. 

“Yes, it brought upon too many memories of father doing things the law didn’t want him to do,” her uncle said, wincing and shaking his head. 

“Alright,” Rhaenys murmured, “What’s on the agenda after this?” 

“Well… returning to the apartment, I should assume. Aegon over here isn’t looking too well, are you?” Viserys clapped his nephew on the shoulder, surprisingly gentle. _ He loves Aegon, he just can’t communicate without using snarky insults. _ It was the way their uncle was and gods, did she love it. He was just so eccentric and different from the rest of their family. _ Maybe it’s because he spent half his life in the UK. _

“I’m very tired,” Aegon mumbled, resting his head against their uncle’s shoulder.

“Oh, Egg, stop it or you will make my heart bleed,” Viserys told the only one of his brother’s children who resembled himself, gently caressing Aegon’s side. Deciding this was the cutest thing she’d ever seen, Rhaenys snapped a picture and sent it in the family group-chat (Where no one had sent anything in for months) and captioned it “Bonding time (Viserys is a big softie, it’s confirmed.)” 

The people in the chat were the reason it wasn’t used very often, except for sending information about familial events. Her mom and dad were in it, so were her grandparents and aunt, as well as Jon, Egg, uncle Oberyn, Doran and Viserys-- Then Arthur and Lyanna. 

The replies were… interesting. 

**Grandma:** How splendid that you are all so fond of each other! Your grandfather and I send our warmest regards. Tell Viserys that we have ordered his favorite spongebob bedsheets home, so that his room will be perfect this christmas!

Her grandmother’s reply made Rhaenys choke on her fanta, making Viserys turn to her with a questioning glance. 

“What’s so funny?” 

“Nothing,” she exclaimed, her voice half-a-cough covered with giggles.

“Hm-”

“-Spongebob!” she cackled accusingly, making even egg perk up and straighten himself to look at his sister. 

“You did something, I know that look,” Aegon said carefully, turning to look at Viserys severely.

“Indeed she did, but _ what _is the question.” 

“Maybe check the group-chat,” Rhaenys allowed, taking another sip of fanta. That seemed to rouse the Targaryen men into working faster than the speed of light, both taking out their iphones to check for any notifications. 

“You didn’t?” Viserys murmured, before releasing a horrified gasp, “Mother,” he whined, “Why must she be like this?” he continued, asking no one in particular. 

“Grandma is an absolute icon,” Rhaenys said, “I want to be like her when I’m older.” 

“But the spongebob sheets!” she continued, laughing so hard that other people began staring at them, even Egg had joined in, chuckling but trying to remain respectful toward their uncle. 

“They bring good fortune, okay?” Her uncle hissed, “You wouldn’t understand.” 

“And the pentagram around your hip doesn’t?” she snorted, barely able to contain herself. 

“Low blow including matters I participated in years ago!” 

“You’re gonna be thirty in a few years, uncle,” she giggled, “Spongebob sheets.” Rhaenys was wiping away tears by now, moving to straighten her red blouse. 

“That’s not the only reply,” Aegon groaned, putting his head on the table. 

“What now?” Viserys asked and then said “Oh,” when he read it, cracking a smile. 

**Möther:** Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes! How I miss you all. But sweet Aegon, you should not delve into matters too great for you. You don’t have to act “cool” in front of your uncle, he was just the same at your age.

To say that her family was dysfunctional, toxic, the stuff of great comedies and all-around fucking weird, would be putting it lightly. 

“Right, sweet Aegon. You don’t have to act “cool” in front of your uncle,” Viserys snorted, almost howling with laughter. 

“Shut the fuck up spongebob,” Aegon groaned, “She said you were the same at my age!” 

“There were things I hid from your mother at your age,” their uncle laughed, “For example: A would-be cocaine addiction.” 

“A what?” Aegon asked, shocked.

“I told your sister all of this, it’s beating a dead horse at this point,” Viserys replied, taking a sip of his coca-cola. 

“I’m not sure you used that expression right, uncle,” she entered the conversation, wondering what shampoo Viserys used because his hair looked absolutely gorgeous. 

“Shut up,” he smiled, “I’ve been in Uni since you were a less than a freshman in high-school.” 

“That’s not a flex, uncle,” she deadpanned. 

“Another reply,” Egg chimed in, “From dad… and Arthur.” This’ll be interesting. _ Dad is so obsessed with over-doing Arthur at anything and everything. _

**Uncle Arthur:** Missing you kiddos! Viserys; I’ll be heading into London for work soon and would love to meet up, call and we’ll arrange a time and place. Peace. 

“He always signs_ peace, _ it’s such a power move, I stan,” Aegon mumbled in awe.

“I’ve missed that guy,” Viserys announced, “He’s so fucking cool and always has the most interesting shit to say. Did you know that he once gave me a lecture about vikings in scandinavia because of something he’d talked about with your mother? It was years ago but he was so fucking petty that Elia didn’t give a shit, so he sat me down and had a power-point. With that pointing-stick, you know? It was rad,” her uncle reminisced fondly, straightening his back. He was wearing a Metallica t-shirt today and blue-jeans, looking like he’d walked straight out of an ad from the 90’s. 

He looked great, Rhaenys wasn’t going to lie. 

“What did dad say?” she asked absentmindedly, plopping a piece of now-lukewarm carbonara into her mouth and checking her phone. The family group-chat was so eerily formal. _ Well… we only send shit in it once every few months and half of these people can barely be in the same room with each other without throwing hands. _ Maybe that was half-a-lie on Rhaenys’s part, the only ones who had beef were her mother and father, extending into Oberyn and her father. Meetings were kinda awkward, reunions more so. 

**Dad:** I would love to hear more about your stay, please call me. And Viserys: It’s been too long, we could arrange to have you flown out. 

“I’m not flying out until christmas,” her uncle announced, “I can only take these reunions once a year, or I’ll have to see a therapist like Rhae-Rhae over there.” 

“Rude,” she narrowed her eyes, “But look! Uncle Oberyn said something.” 

**Uncle O:** I think Viserys would prefer warmer climates. Ellaria and I send many hugs and kisses to our unproblematic faves (Tyene says that’s what the kids use as terms of endearment these days.) 

“The shade of it all!” Aegon all-but-yelled.

“Shit, your uncle still has it out for my brother after all these years,” Viserys exhaled, “It’s fucking hilarious, I love the man. He’s the amount of petty I want to embody.” 

“Well you’re nearly there,” she replied snidely, accidentally spilling some pasta on her black skirt, hurriedly wiping it away. 

“That’s the gods punishing you for your cruel heart, niece,” her uncle teased. 

“No, perhaps it’s the demons that the pentagram on your hip is summoning.” 

“I should’ve _ never _told you that story,” he groaned, running a hand through his silver-gold locks. 

“Viserys!” Rhaenys heard a girl exclaim as she was about to make a retort.

“Doreah!” Her uncle said, standing up to hug the woman in question. She was dressed in a beautiful, pale pink dress that seemed to fit like a second skin. _ A beauty, _ Rhaenys thought, _ maybe she does modelling. _

“How have you been?” she asked, “It’s been a while.” 

“I’ve been good, entering Uni again for the fall,” her uncle grinned, turning to look at them. “Oh, forgive my manners. These is my niece; Rhaenys and my nephew; Aegon.” 

“Pleased to meet you,” Doreah said, smiling, reaching down to shake Rhaenys’s hand and Aegon’s. _ Tone it down, little brother or Margaery won’t be very happy. _ Egg looked completely awestruck by the woman in front of him, with the honey-gold hair and pretty, blue eyes. 

“You’re American, aren’t you?” the pale woman asked.

“Yeah,” Aegon replied, “Have you been there?”

“No,” Doreah frowned, “But I’d love to go someday.” 

“Give me a call when you do, we’ll hang out,” came her brother’s reply, causing both Rhaenys and Viserys to exchange confused glances. 

“I’ll be sure to do that,” the woman winked, turning to Rhaenys, “Can I just ask where you get your lashes done? They look absolutely wonderful! And you have such beautiful eyes,” Doreah fawned, making Rhaenys a blubbering mess because she hated being complimented.

“Oh, I don’t get them done, they’re my own but I do use this mascara from L'oreal Paris, I could give you the name of it.” 

“Oh, great!” Doreah replied, grinning, pulling out her phone to make a note of the mascara “Thank you.”

“No problem,” the Targaryen beamed, “And I just love your outfit.” 

“Really?” Viserys’s mystery friend asked, “I thought that perhaps it’s a bit too much but I loved the dress when I saw it at H&M and simply _ had _to invest in it.”

“Yeah, you look so fucking hot in it, it’s such a great purchase.” 

“Rhaenys herself has been bleeding me dry like a leech today,” her uncle shared, “She’s all stocked up for the coming apocalypse.” 

“A girl’s gotta’ do what she’s gotta’ do, Vis,” Doreah smiled, leaning forward to Rhaenys, whispering “Don’t listen to him, he’s just petty by nature. You’ll look beautiful in whatever, even a potato-sack, Gods what I’d do for those eyes.” 

“Thank you,” Rhaenys beamed, loving the circle of mutual support, “You’re too kind.” 

“It’s nothing,” the woman waved off. All of them continued chatting for a few moments until Doreah had to leave, she was meeting up with some dude, but didn’t leave before she made sure that she had Rhaenys’s number, so that they could arrange to hang the next time she was in town.

“Who was she to you?” Rhaenys asked after the beautiful woman left, Viserys turned to look at her before shrugging.

“We took the same class a few years ago. She’s a clever cookie and we both came to an agreement that would mutually benefit us and grew from there. She’s still a good friend, we just don’t hang out a lot anymore.”

“Mutual agreement?” Rhaenys asked, “Not like blood-magic mutual?”

“No that was a _ different _kind of mutual and I think I was heavily under the influence of a multitude of drugs… However; it was sex-mutual.

“Gross,” Aegon exclaimed, shuddering as he finished his meal. _ At least he’s in better spirits now, _ “Ew, ew, ew!”

“Aegon, being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of, it’s very _ in _these days. Rhaenys and I truly respect your decision to remain pure until you m-” her uncle began in that voice one used when speaking to a child.

“-Stop it, I’m not a fucking virgin, Rhae tell him!” Aegon hissed.

“What?” She exclaimed incredulously, “How the fuck should I know?” she laughed. 

“Well…” her brother thought for a while, cheeks reddening, “I just- You’re friends with Marge- Make him stop, he’s such a bully!” Came Aegon’s erratic reply. 

“You were all cuddled up with that bully a few moments ago,” their uncle mocked.

“Objection! Lapse of judgement!” Aegon exclaimed, causing Viserys to snort as he took a sip of his coca-cola. 

“That’s not a thing!” 

“Contrary to your beliefs, Aegon, Marge and I don’t talk about sex and brothers in the same discussion,” she raised a dark eyebrow.

“Let’s leave this subject, please,” he begged.

“You were the one dragging it along,” she laughed, “Fine, let’s talk about spongebob over here.” 

“Now that was uncalled for, you little vixen,” her uncle chided, shaking his head. Then they all simply looked at each other and it didn’t take long before they burst into helpless laughter. 

She loved the moments like these, however depraved and fucked up that they were. It was just wholesome, in a weird way. 

***

“Time to leave, kiddos,” Viserys mumbled after they’d all had a shared breakfast the next day. He was dressed in a black button-up and a pair of jeans, with the top few buttons remaining unbuttoned. And Rhaenys hated to admit it because it made her feel so weird, even if it was normal for their family, but he looked fucking hot. _ Like... Jaime at prom hot. _

“Okidoki,” she murmured and straightened the hem of her Targaryen Corp hoodie. They were travelling, she wasn’t going to bother dressing up for it. Leggings and hoodies were where it was at, and judged by Aegon’s sweatshirt and pants, he shared that sentiment. Then, they all headed outside to her uncle’s “Look I’m rich” car, also known as the black Mercedes. 

“Was that it?” her uncle asked after he’d loaded their luggage into the trunk. 

“Yup,” she said, “And I'm calling shotgun!” 

“No, you had it last time!” Aegon said, trying to push her away but she slid into the front seat, locked the door and stuck her tongue out at her little brother. 

“You both are _ so _immature,” Viserys commented as he got into the car.

“Said the raven when he called the baby crows black,” she quipped. 

“That’s not a saying.” 

“Well, it’s a modified one, suited to the situation, she stuck her tongue out.” 

“I am going to miss you two idiots,” Viserys smiled fondly as he began driving, “It’s like having dumb and dumber, all at my own disposal.” 

“Now that’s rude, uncle,” she pouted, feigning hurt, “At least I graduated college. Let’s see how long it takes for Egg.” 

“It’s an ever-learning experience,” he muttered, turning left toward the airport. 

“Oh, I’m sure it is,” she snorted. 

“But it was nice having you here, I must confess,” Viserys said softly.

“You’re going soft, Vissy,” she smiled and he briefly turned to her with those pretty, lilac eyes and placed a hand on her thigh, gently caressing.

“Maybe I am, don’t tell the others” 

“Fine,” she smiled, looking straight at the road and ignoring the way his hand on her thigh felt more right than Jaime or Renly’s had ever felt. 

“Nice to include me in your little moment,” Aegon commented snidely.

“You’re too busy texting that Tyrell girl to be a part of it,” Viserys retorted, quick as a whip.

“Am not!”

“Am too!” 

“Happy vibes, y’all, come on,” Rhaenys chimed in, “We won’t see Vissy until christmas and that’s a very long time.

“Three months, in fact!” Viserys said, turning right on the road.

“You’re not helping your case, Vissy,” she replied, “But the point is; We’ll miss our favorite creepy uncle. Won’t we, Egg?” 

“We most certainly will, he cooks!” 

“It’s a hobby I’ve picked up,” their uncle shared keenly, “Did you like last night’s risotto? I thought perhaps there was a shortage of spices but-”

“-It was great, wasn’t it, Egg?” she eyed her brother sharply. 

“Delicious,” he chuckled and they began speaking of a random tv-show-- Viserys very pleased that his culinary skills were appreciated by someone, at least. 

Then, Viserys pulled into the parking lot of the airport and they all got outside, Viserys unloading their luggage and handing it to them. He rolled up his sleeves to do it, giving off those hot professor vibes and wasn’t that just splendid? 

“Now, let us check in,” he said. They did that, all of the rest and had a total of ten minutes before boarding began, so they decided to say their goodbyes. 

Aegon went first, giving their uncle a big hug.

“I’m gonna miss your weird ass,” Aegon confessed and Viserys clapped him on the back good-naturedly. 

“I spiced up your life, didn’t I?” 

“That’s one way to put it,” her brother snorted, giving one last hug, “But take care and we’ll meet again to endure grandpa’s weird christmas party. It’s better handled in groups, maybe this time; Rhae won’t have to seek professional help to cope with it.”

“Uncalled for,” Rhaenys hissed at her brother, but chuckled nonetheless. 

“Now it’s little Rhae’s turn, come on, come to daddy,” Viserys opened his arms and she snorted, moving to snuggle up in his embrace. 

“You’re so fucking weird and inappropriate, you know that, right?” 

“Well, I have to earn the nickname of ‘Creepy uncle’ don’t I?” he asked, tightening his hold and kissing the top of her head.

Then they pulled away but Viserys remained still, staring at her and their faces were so close that their noses were almost touching and she had to angle her head backward to meet his lilac eyes that spoke of spring and light. 

“Don’t be a stranger, hm?” he told her softly and she shook her head, smiling. 

“Never.” Then, he leaned in and she thought that he was going to kiss her and held her breath, heart pounding in her ribs. But his lips touched her cheek instead and he pulled back, stroking her cheek, something indiscernible swivelling in his eyes. Then, they broke apart.

“Bye, Vissy,” she and Aegon echoed, beginning to walk 

“Goodbye, my young grasshoppers!” came Viserys’s embarassing call after them, causing Aegon to chuckle. 

“I hope he never changes.” 

“Me neither,” she concurred. 

***

“Why did it look like you were about to kiss Viserys earlier?” Aegon asked as he munched on airplane peanuts. _ Because I was. _

“I wasn’t,” she lied, thinking about how fucked up of a person that she was. _ My therapist will enjoy hearing about this. Freud is quaking in his grave for this shit. _

“Jon and Dany get enough aunty-nephew action,” Aegon murmured, leaning back to sleep, “And Jaime Lannister’s already so fucking gone for you, it’s hilarious.” 

“He’s not!” she exclaimed, lightly punching Aegon’s shoulder. _ I hope he’s not. _

“Yeah, well Marge told me that he’d asked her if you were still single.” Ah, fuck. 

“Yeah well,” she faltered, “Go solve your own shit with Marge instead of hounding me.” 

“I’m not hounding you, no need to get defensive,” Aegon retorted, sticking his tongue out, “And if you’ll excuse me; I’m going to sleep now. Goodnight.” 

“It’s the afternoon,” she chuckled.

“It’s night somewhere,” he mumbled.

“Goodnight, then, Egg,” Rhaenys replied softly. 

Then she wondered what the hell she was going to do about the predicament she’d gotten herself in. 


	5. Can you feel it, too?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re here just in time,” Elia called out, removing her apron to unveil a very cute, grey woolen dress, complete with a black belt around the waist.  
“You look great ma’,” Rhaenys whispered approvingly and earned a chuckle from her mother.  
“It’s your old dress, I stole it from your closet because you outgrew it at thirteen.” Rhaenys had inherited her height from Rhaegar Targaryen.  
“I’m glad it came of use.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been over 2 months and I thought this deserved an update.  
Idek where I'm taking this at this point lol. Like I had an idea around four months ago about where I wanted it to go but now I can't really remember it so I've kinda lost the thread.  
Summary; Sorry if it's really shit lol.

“Rhaenys?” the male voice of her therapist inquired, “Rhaenys?” he repeated, earning her attention._ Fuck, did I zone out again? _

“Uh-yeah?” she asked, meeting the dark-haired man’s blue eyes, “Sorry, I zoned out.” 

“I was inquiring about your stay at your uncle’s. How was it?” he wondered in that soft, therapist-y voice. 

“I mean…” she faltered, wondering if this was a good time to leak those kind of… really really not okay thoughts she’d had when thinking of her uncle, “It was good. Egg and I needed a change of scenery and London was nothing but refreshing. It was nice to get away and… It’d been so long since we saw Viserys.” Out of a nervous habit, the oldest child of Rhaegar began inspecting her cuticles instead of meeting her therapist’s eyes. She’d always had problems with eye-contact. It made her feel exposed.

“Rhaenys what have I told you about these meetings?” John asked, expectantly raising his eyebrow. 

“That they will only be beneficial if I’m honest, otherwise it’s money down the drain,” she replied monotonously, having heard them too many times before.

“Then tell me how you feel. What did you do? How was it when you reunited with your uncle after such a long time separated. You were very close as children.” 

“It was good, like I told you,” she began and met his gaze, “We went to the beach and the mall… Had a few parties where Egg got too intoxicated and-” _ I realised he was very, very attractive. Like top tier with Jaime Lannister attractive and I shouldn’t be feeling this way because it’s weird but then again, my entire family is dysfunctional and incest-y at their best and having fucked-up relationships with each other are the least of our concerns. _

“And?” he tapped the pen in his hand against his notebook, urging her on. 

“Remember when I told you my family was weird?” Rhaenys asked, tucking a stray brown curl behind her ear, turning her lavender gaze upon that weird painting of an abstract cat, on the wall next to John. 

“I do recall you telling me that they are... a rather unconventional bunch, yes.” 

“You’re sworn to professional secrecy-- confidentiality,” she stated obviously. 

“I went to school for seven years to become a therapist, thank you so much for reminding me of that fact, Rhaenys,” he replied sardonically, “Now go on.” 

“I also told you a bit about the childhood trauma I received when Cersei Lannister called out my grandparents for being… uhm-” she cleared her throat, it was so weird to say out loud but John had apparently seen it all, because he did not miss a beat and continued her sentence.

“Siblings.” 

“Yeah,” Rhaenys laughed nervously, “And how my bro Jon-without-the-h is dating my uhm-” 

“Aunt,” John-with-the-h offered kindly, chewing on his pencil and giving nothing away. 

“Well… It has come to my attention that I may also be… inclined toward that… dysfunctional and very much unconventional leaning,” she stared at him, unblinking. John simply stared at her, before speaking. 

“In regards to your brother or your uncle,” John asked and he didn’t look disgusted or anything when she told him… just curious and assessing . _ Well, he’s your fucking therapist, idiot. He legit gets paid to listen to all this shit and say ‘hm how does that make you feel?’ Well, she thought John deserved more credit than that. _ She actually liked the dude and he wasn’t hard on the eyes either. He was just… gay and didn’t get together with clients. Rhaenys had found that out the hard way. 

“Uh-my-uhm- Viserys,” the Targaryen choked out, wincing, “And it’s really fucked up, believe me I know,” she began rambling, “But like… we hadn’t seen each other for so long and he was just slightly chubby gamer Viserys back then. Now he’s like… An Abercrombie & Fitch ad on steroids and he’s got this sardonic, british little personality and is funny without even _ intending _ to be. He also smells fucking _ great _ ,” she eyed John hysterically, “Do you know how hard it is to find a guy who actually smells like sex-on-fucking-wheels? Because most often it’s that gag-inducing sort of Axe spray and I’m never here for that! And he’s like… crunchy but soft, Y’know? I don’t mean that literally but like… he acts unbothered but then he’s really caring and kind and I just don’t know what’s fucking wrong with me and this is _ so _ fucked up. He probably doesn’t feel the same way and I’m over-analyzing the entire situation but I’ve been celibate for like a _ year, _ John. A fucking year! And he’s been telling me about all the fucking orgies and weird sex-vodoo-slightly-satanic shit he’s been doing in college!” Once finished, Rhaenys sunk down into the couch and sighed dramatically. She was a Targaryen, after all. They don’t do anything half-assed or half-dramatic.

“Okay,” John began and she saw him straighten his back and put the notebook down, “Sit up, Rhaenys.” Doing as she was bid because she hated direct confrontation, the young woman sat up obligingly. 

“This is going to be _ severely _unprofessional and it’s only going to last for thirty seconds, so listen carefully and don’t report me.” 

“I’d never report you, Johnny-boy,” she grinned, despite the pool of nervosa in her belly. 

“Okay,” he inhaled, “I’ve heard some fucked-up shit in my days and that’s not even a drop in the ocean compared to what some people have said within these four fucking walls-- As they were staring at that god-damned ugly painting of a cat I’ve named Waldo. I’m here to help you, Rhaenys, not to judge. I know your family has an old history and that your… closer relations already are accepted by the public, so calm down. That’s it.” 

“Wow,” she stared at her therapist, “I feel better now. Thank you, John.” 

“That never happened,” he winked and the moment was gone as soon as it came, “Now continue.” 

“Well, I think it’s really fucked-up that I want to fuck Viserys but like,” she shrugged her shoulders, “Dany and Jon are a thing so…” 

“Do you think it's merely sexual attraction that draws you to him, or something else?” 

“Okay I want you to spare me the Freudian ‘he looks like your father so you’re trying to cope with your Electra-complex’ but I am NOT into my dad like that.”

“The Electra-complex would, according to Freud, occur between the ages of three and six, where the girl seeks to replace her mother as her father’s sexual partner. Thusly entering a rivalry of sorts with the mother,” John explained, “But the term is no longer used in modern psychology when it comes to mental health. It is too outdated, so rest assured. I will not hit you with an, and I quote ‘Freudian he looks like your father’ stuff.” 

“And he’s so different from my dad. Like he’s not as uptight or worried, or adulterous for that matter,” she grumbled, “He’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen and in a family where things can get suffocating… it was like breathing fresh air.” 

“So perhaps you are drawn to him because he is everything your father is not, which your subconscious might take as he will not behave like your father either, I.e. in a scenario where you represent your mother; betray you in such a manner as your father did your mother.” Rhaenys kind of thought it made sense but she didn’t want her attraction to Viserys, however fucked-up that it was, be because of some subconscious rebellion against her dad._ He tries, _ she knew that, _ dad tries but it doesn’t erase everything he did. _ Well, it did no one any good to cry over spilled milk.

“Whew that’s too deep for 8:am, I haven’t even had my morning cocaine yet, John,” she teased. 

“Rhaenys, what have we said about reverting to humor as a means to cope with your underlying struggles with what frightens and confuses you?” 

“It’s not_ sustainable, _” she replied, trying to imitate his voice, earning a slight smile and a shake of the man’s head, “Aren’t I just your favorite patient, Johnny-boy?” the Targaryen teased, smoothing out the creases on her blue jeans with the palm of her hands. 

“I am not at liberty to disclose that information,” he nodded at her. _ He holds a special fondness for me, I know that. I’m the least bat-shit crazy out of all his patients… right? I have to be. I only come here for my mild childhood trauma. _

“Well,” she shrugged, “He’s coming here in three months to celebrate Christmas. What a fiasco that’ll be,” she shook her head, “Grandpa’s Christmas parties being crazy is a light way to describe them and half of my family can’t stand being in the same room as each other.” 

“Do you wish to confess your feelings to Viserys?” John asked, after having nodded at her earlier statement. 

“I don’t know,” she sighed dramatically, “It might just cause unnecessary drama. I don’t want to complicate anything.” How many times hadn’t she used that excuse to get out of doing something that was way beyond her comfort-zone?

“Maybe he feels the same way,” John suggested, “Why would that be so far-fetched to believe?” 

“Because he’s the cool, creepy uncle and I’m boring, mean little Rhaenys. Maybe I never grew up in his eyes.” _ He certainly did in mine. _

“Ask him,” John shrugged, “Perhaps his answer will differ greatly from what you originally thought.” 

“Hm,” Rhaenys eyed her therapist, chewing on her bottom lip, “Maybe I will.” 

“You will never have to dwell on the what-ifs, if you actually do it,” John reminded her, angling his head to look down at his watch, “And it seems our time is up.” 

“Mkay,” Rhaenys stood up, straightening the straps of her black tank-top, “A pleasure as always, John. Say hello to Oliver for me,” she winked, “By the way; I may or may not have told my uncle you’d fancy him as a boy-toy.” 

“Of course you did,” her therapist shook his head, smiling slightly, “I’ll give Oliver your regards, though you should not even be aware of his existence. I may have to let you go now,” he told her but his eyes were light. They were far too close for a therapist and his patient but Rhaenys had a sneaky talent of slithering inside people’s lives and refusing to leave. _ Didn’t get that from dad, though, _ she thought and almost snorted.

“I could never do without you, Johnny-boy,” Rhaenys pouted as the man chuckled, opening the door and saying his last goodbyes. 

Rhaenys stepped out into the warm, August weather and felt her heart was lighter than it’d been in a long time.

***

“Rhaenys, please take the pie out of the oven!” she heard her mother call from upstairs, so dutifully, Rhaenys slid into the kitchen with ease, grabbed a patterned oven-mit and carefully took the apple-pie out, placing it on the counter. Her mom made pie to celebrate that one of Arthur’s… shelterlings? Was that how people would refer to it? Well, anyway; the kid had aced his first exams at college and her step-dad was ecstatic about it, like through the roof. She understood it, those kids had the odds written against them from the start, all Arthur had tried to do was even out the playing scores and he was doing great.

A little over two-and-a-half months had passed since her and Aegon had been cozied up in London with their uncle and it was now the middle of december. Rhaenys had stayed in touch with Viserys via weekly, sometimes twice-or-thrice-a-week phone-calls and FaceTimes. They’d always been close, so it wasn’t weird but what was weird was that in Rhaenys’s twisted mind, she subconsciously leaned toward the more… cleavage-y angles (and clothing) during these calls. After, she would always sit in quiet contemplation of what a huge fuck-up she was, to be attracted to her uncle when equally-as-hot-and-kind-of-funny-people like Jaime Lannister were texting her. _ He wants to fuck, _ she knew that, but she wanted to fuck her uncle and it just put her in an awkward situation mentally. It didn’t help that Viserys sometimes replied shirtless, half-asleep and fucking beautiful. I _ t’s not fair that he looks that great in every angle, I have to put on concealer and lipgloss to appear half-decent. _

“Thank you, darling,” came her mother’s tender reply and soft pat on Rhaenys’s back, “I was on the phone with your grandmother.” 

“What’s up with grandma?” the oldest Targaryen asked and sat down by the kitchen table, absentmindedly picking at the floral cloth covering it. 

“She’s well, but she wants you kids to visit more often. She says the house is too empty without all of you running around in it.” 

“Maybe two people shouldn’t live in a mansion, then,” Rhaenys joked, “But I’ll ask Dany, Egg and the others if they want to make a trip. I do miss grandma.” Rhaella Targaryen was a graceful queen and she would come for anyone who dared dispute that claim. 

“Your grandfather has been asking for you as well,” Elia murmured as she began setting the dinner table and placing the lasagna, along with the salad, on top of it and gave Rhaenys that funny look everyone got when they mentioned grandpa Aerys. 

“He’s funny when it comes down to it, not even you can deny that, ma,” Rhaenys winked and wondered why Elia set an extra plate but shrugged it off. _ Maybe the kid’s joining us or something. _

“He’s funny because he’s _ insane, _ Rhaenys,” her mother deadpanned.

“I’m his favorite,” the brown-haired Targaryen replied smugly, correcting her knitted blue sweater. 

“Great accomplishment,” her mother praised dryly, wiping her hands on her apron, “Being the madman’s favorite. I’m so proud to have such an ambitious and aspiring daughter,” Elia finished, snorting. 

“Don’t be rude, ma,” Rhaenys whined and frowned, meeting her mother’s gaze with a wounded lavender. _ Hook. line and sink. _

“You know I’m just playing with you,” Elia sighed, moving to place a brief kiss on Rhaenys’s temple, “And I know all your tricks, I’m old, not stupid.” 

“You’re not old,” she replied, “You’re years away from fifty and you look thirty-five.” 

“It’s your step-father who looks thirty-five,” Elia began, making a face, “And your father.” 

“Nope,” Rhaenys told her mother stubbornly, “You’re the one.” 

“What did I do to deserve these compliments?” Elia asked, laughing lightly as she moved around the kitchen, making sure everything was in order. 

“Nothin’ special,” the Targaryen shrugged, feeling a sudden warmth choke her, “I just love you is all.” _All this mushy-ness isn’t suiting me at all. _

“I love you too, darling,” came her mother’s soft, soothing voice and then arms were around her, comforting and warming. Honestly, Rhaenys felt like crying. Then, saved by the bell, well not really but practically, the front-door made a sound and it seemed like Arthur had arrived. 

“You’re here just in time,” Elia called out, removing her apron to unveil a very cute, grey woolen dress, complete with a black belt around the waist. 

“You look great ma’,” Rhaenys whispered approvingly and earned a chuckle from her mother.

“It’s your old dress, I stole it from your closet because you outgrew it at thirteen.” Rhaenys had inherited her height from Rhaegar Targaryen. 

“I’m glad it came of use.” 

“Hey guys,” Arthur walked in, smiling at Rhaenys and pulling Elia in for a quick kiss.

“Children present!” the Targaryen screeched, covering her eyes dramatically, “I’ve enough trauma to last me a lifetime, I don’t need more!”

“Oh, stop with the dramatics,” Elia laughed, shaking her head and looking at Arthur in a ‘can you believe it’ way, “Trauma...” 

“Be happy you weren’t a baby-boomer,” Arthur told her with a grin, “Now that’s _ serious _trauma.” 

“Hmph.” 

“You made my favorite?” Arthur asked her mother in awe and it was disgusting how in love they still were. _ Like jeez, mom makes his favorite food and he worships at her altar. _However, she was not going to lie, it was cute as hell. 

“And apple-pie,” Elia smiled, “You deserve it, for all your hard work.” 

“I just try to help,” Rhaenys’s step-father shrugged humbly as Elia patted down the creases of his red button-up. _ So weirdly in-tune, _she remarked. 

They all sat down by the table after that, but Rhaenys’s mother slapped their hands away when they tried to begin eating.

“We’re waiting for another guest,” she told them, a secret glint in her eyes, “And in his true fashion; he is late.” 

“Interesting,” the Targaryen remarked, slightly irked at the person keeping her from her mother’s famous lasagna. _ It’s no surprise it’s Arthur’s favorite. _

After a few more minutes of random conversation, the doorbell rang and Elia gleefully rushed to open it, which confused Rhaenys. _ Why is she so excited? _ Looking at Arthur, he seemed to know no more than herself. 

“Mom’s up to something.” 

“When isn’t she?” her step-dad replied, smiling with a shake of his head. 

“Look who’s here,” came Elia’s gleeful voice as she came into sight with-

“Viserys?” Rhaenys asked, when she could form proper words, that was.

“Huh, Viserys,” Arthur said, pleasantly surprised and standing up to greet the man, “How’re you doing, pal?”

“I’m simply splendid,” the silver-haired Targaryen replied, shrugging out of his black coat, “Though the plane was a bit of a ghastly experience.” 

“Yeah I’m sure flying in first class was abhorrent, uncle,” came Rhaenys’s snide remark. What? She couldn’t help herself, he was too dramatic by far. _ Almost like you, _ a corner of her mind whispered. 

“I shall have you know, _ niece, _” Viserys turned his lilac eyes upon her and they were sparkling dangerously, “I flew in business class because I did not wish to burden my mother with the expense.” 

“What a downgrade,” she muttered, can we even communicate in kind terms at this point? They were all sarcastic, ironic comments until those fleeting, small moments where they just gave it up and acted nice, “One almost believed you flew economy for a second.” 

“No,” he shook his head rapidly, “Gods, that would be repugnant.” 

“Isn’t he just humble, ma’?” Rhaenys cooed, “To his very core?” 

“Quit teasing and bickering with your uncle, Rhaenys,” Elia shook her head but she was smiling slightly, “He has come far to be with us today and he’s staying until after christmas, so you’ll have plenty of time to… socialise in that weird manner of yours.” 

“Ah yes,” Viserys smiled and took a seat next to Rhaenys, with Arthur and Elia opposite them, leaning in to give her a quick kiss on the cheek, “Plenty of time for you to plague me with your presence.” 

“Plague?” Rhaenys raised an eyebrow and pinched his thigh.

“Ouch!” 

“Can you believe they’re allowed to drink?” Elia asked her husband, grinning as if they were observing a new species in their natural habitat.

“A terrible power,” Arthur shook his head and took a sip from his can of beer. 

“Well,” her mother announced, “Shall we eat?”

“I am absolutely famished, the airplane food was horrendous!” Viserys complained and even though he was such a spoiled brat, Rhaenys knew most of it was an over-dramatized act. Her uncle had a bleeding heart, you just had to prick him in the right spot to make the waterfalls gush. 

When they were finished, Elia Martell-Dayne began clearing the plates. She’d taken Arthur’s last-name when they remarried and that had proved to piss Rhaegar off so humongously that he’d ranted about it for an hour to Lyanna, who literally could not have given less of a fuck but instead; was wounded that it mattered so much to Rhaegar, who in his own claims: had left Elia as a closed chapter in his life. The reason why it had angered Rhaegar Targaryen so much was that Elia never changed her name to Targaryen, even when they were married. Rhaenys remembered that because she’d been present in the kitchen when that happened. 

“I can help,” Arthur stood up, nice guy that he was, but his wife shooed him away. 

“It’s _ your _night, I’ll simply make you do everything tomorrow,” Elia replied, earning a chuckle from both Viserys and the Dayne. 

“Have I expressed how much I love your mother?” Viserys leaned in to ask Rhaenys. 

“Once or twice,” she shrugged, observing her parents and tucking a piece of brown hair behind her ears, “I love her too.” 

“It’d be a bit strange if you didn’t,” he chuckled and she agreed. _ It would be. _

“Time for pie!” Elia called and placed the pie, alongside a tub of vanilla ice-cream on the table, smiling all motherly at Viserys and Rhaenys, before nudging Arthur and pointing at the pie, “Look, it’s a falling star… In frosting but it’s a falling star, nonetheless. Make a wish.” 

“Why would I do that?” Arthur made that tender smile people got when they were really touched and put his hand on top of Elia’s, “I’ve got all I could ever want.” Her mother looked ready to cry. 

“Gag me with a spoon,” Rhaenys whispered in Viserys’s ear, “This is too sweet and wholesome by far, I can’t stand it!” Even her uncle looked touched by the cheesy-ness of it all. 

“They’re the most non-toxic presence of our lives,” her uncle whispered, “We must cherish them.” 

“Go on, you sneaks,” Elia interrupted them, staring expectantly, “Pause your plots of world-domination and grab a plate of pie.” Rhaenys and Viserys were more than happy to oblige. 

After a while of eating alongside pleasant conversation, the night was coming to an end. She had work at the corp in the morning and it was like 10.pm. Rhaenys was at that age where she’d gladly go to bed at like 11.pm because she valued sleep so highly and adult life was just not that interesting anymore. 

“Well, ma’ and Arth-i-o,” She sighed dramatically and stood up, walking over to kiss her mom’s cheek and give Arthur a quick hug, “It’s been lovely… but like a _ productive _member of society, I’ve work in the morning, so I better get going.” 

“Another veiled insult?” Viserys asked in mock-indignance, “However shall I breathe with these constant attacks upon my person?” 

“They’re not so veiled,” she stuck her tongue out. 

“Play nice,” Elia chuckled, turning to Rhaenys with a beaming grin, “We’ll have to have Egg, Dany and Jon over next time. They’ll make it complete.” 

“Myes,” Rhaenys murmured, staring at Viserys. 

“Well, I should most certainly get going as well, then,” the Targaryen stood up. He was dressed in a khaki-colored turtleneck and blue-jeans. The look suited him. It made him look more beautiful than hot. And she thought it was more difficult to be beautiful than it was to be hot. Beauty was in the foundation, both outside and within. In coexistence; they created something that no one could even begin to look away from. _ I am such a simp, _ she thought despairingly. _ For Viserys of all! _

“Where are you staying, darling?” Elia asked the man pleasantly and he gave her one of his easy grins.

“I’m not quite sure yet,” he confessed, “But probably some hotel.” 

“Why not your mom and dad’s?” she asked, frowning.

“Because my dad’s there,” he looked at Rhaenys’s mother as if that should be reason enough and realising her mistake, Elia winced and nodded. 

“You’re more than welcome to stay with Arthur and I, love,” Elia offered kindly, “We don’t mind, do we, Arthur?” she nudged the Dayne. 

“No,” he cleared his throat, “Not at all, we’ve got three empty rooms.” 

“No, no,” Viserys shook his head, “I thank you for your hospitality but I do not want to breach upon your domains. You raised children for _ far _too long and deserve not to have me lumbering about. Enjoy your peace. Besides; I have a knack for thriving in isolation,” the Targaryen finished, winking. 

“We’d love to have you,” Elia frowned, “But I understand. You’re all so grown-up now… my sweet, little babies.”

“Okay let’s not open the floodgates, ma’,” Rhaenys winced, touching her mother’s shoulders gently. She knew Elia missed having them around but to be fair; _ I do visit like three times a week. _ The Targaryen never knew why Elia and Arthur never had another kid, but it was probably due to her mother’s health. _ It was pretty rough for her with Aegon and they were happy with each other, maybe they didn’t want to have another kid to care for. _

“We’ll always be your kiddos,” Viserys moved to hug her mother, crouching down as Elia was seated on her chair.

“Good,” Elia chuckled and stroked his silver-gold hair, kissing the top of the Targaryen’s head, “Why don’t you stay at Rhaenys’s?” she asked suddenly and the brown-haired Targaryen uttered a sound of surprise. _ What? _

“Hm,” Viserys stood up to gaze at his niece devilishly, “I don’t know,” he confessed.

“Well, you’ve got the spare room, don’t you?” Elia turned to her oldest child, “And Dany’s your roommate… Even though she stays at Jon’s more often than not, so you’ll all be able to spend more time with each other. We can’t just leave your uncle at some dingy hotel to rot until christmas, all alone.” 

“Mom, he’d get the king-suite at the Hilton’s,” Rhaenys deadpanned, “With grandma’s money.” 

“I’m standing right here,” Viserys interrupted, mock-offended. 

“I am well aware of that,” she replied, grinning sweetly. 

“Well, be a good host, Rhaenys. You’ve got the room and Viserys doesn’t seem opposed.” _ No, but mom, I’ll go crazy! _

“I am most certainly not opposed to spending some quality time with my _ favorite _niece,” her uncle slung an arm around Rhaenys’s shoulder and she ignored how right it felt there. 

“I am your _ only _niece,” she reminded him.

“That we _ know _of,” Viserys commented airily and Arthur all-but choked on his beer, while her mother let out a strangled laugh, “Too soon?” Viserys asked. 

“Not at all,” Elia laughed, “The timing was quite perfect.” Her mom wasn’t hurting any longer, in fact; Elia Martell-Dayne had gotten over Rhaegar pretty quickly, considering the severity of his betrayal._ I assume Arthur is to thank for that _ and Rhaenys was grateful for the man. He’d picked up her mother’s broken pieces and helped make them whole again, without trying to change them with his own. Her father had tried to change them with his own and perhaps that was what really killed their marriage, before all the infidelity and love-children. 

“Well, then it's settled,” Elia commented, “You’ll be staying with Rhaenys, darling.” 

“It shall be quite eventful, I would assume,” Viserys smirked, leaning down to place a kiss on Elia’s cheek and a pat on Arthur’s shoulder. 

“Don’t forget to visit, we’ve all missed you.” 

“Will do, Elia,” the Targaryen replied. 

“Thank you both for coming, it means a lot to me,” Arthur said as he and Elia stood up to see the younger generation out the door, “Be safe on the roads, it’s icy out and don’t forget to check your oil, Rhaenys.” 

“Myes, myes,” she smiled as she was putting on her ankle boots. _ All the dads in the world seem to do is tell their kids to check their oil. _She didn’t mind it. 

“Love you,” Elia beamed, Arthur’s arms around her. They were meant to be. _ Dad and her were together but mom and Arthur were right from the start. _ There was no corruption, only love. How rare that was. And they looked great as a couple, i _ t happens when you’re unproblematic and wholesome, _ she wagered. 

“Love you two, too,” Rhaenys replied, throwing them a kiss.

“Ditto,” Viserys replied as he opened the front door. 

“Text us when you’re home safe!” Arthur called after them and Rhaenys yelled back an ‘okay’. 

“Well, niece, won’t this be interesting?” Viserys asked as soon as they were in the car, after he’d stuffed his suitcase in the trunk of her Audi. 

“That’s one way to put it,” she grumbled, starting the car. _ Uncle Arthur was right, it is quite icy out, _ she thought, once they were on the road. _ Well, it’s only a fifteen minute drive or so. We should be fine. _

“Well, if I’m not wanted then I’ll just stay in a hotel,” she heard him say as he stared straight ahead. There was none of that joking tone anymore. 

“Of course you’re wanted!” she cried, quickly turning to look at him, more than wanted, actually, “Don’t be dramatic, uncle.” 

“Are you sure?” he asked her and his lilac eyes had turned a clear violet in the darkness of night. 

“Of course I’m sure, idiot,” she told him, voice softening, “I’ve missed you.” 

“How could you not?” he asked cockily, but there was something in the words, the tone of voice used. It inspired a warmth of sorts. 

“Hmph,” she muttered and that was the end of their bleeding hearts. The rest of the ride remained silent, until she told him to get out of the car, once she’d parked. 

“It’s not your penthouse,” Rhaenys shrugged, “But it’s home.” 

“I needed a change of scenery anyway,” he winked, “I was all-but petrifying over there.” 

“Don’t you like London?” she asked, opening the door by the gate for him. 

“I love it,” Viserys made sure to say, “It just gets a bit lonely sometimes. Perhaps that’s my own doing for never visiting but when the parties and alcohol are gone,” he faltered, “It leaves one quite empty.” 

“Well, dumbass,” Rhaenys said softly, moving to gently pat his shoulder, “Visit more often, then.” 

“Would you like that?” he laughed, pressing the button for the elevator, “To have your _ creepy _uncle lumbering about?” Rhaenys had spent enough times making jokes out of serious questions to know that he was genuinely wondering and would base his decision on her answer. They were one in the same, they truly were.

“Of course,” she grinned, “You’re my favorite uncle on dad’s side.” 

“I’m your _ only _uncle on your dad’s side.” 

“That we know of,” Rhaenys replied pleasantly, delighting in the way Viserys winced.

“True enough,” he nodded, “True enough.” 

At that, she pressed the fifth button and they waited in silence, but it stopped at number one and the doors opened to show a short, plump woman. _ Mrs Radley, _ she recognised. 

“Oh, Rhaenys!” the woman greeted, “What a delight, I barely see you anymore.” 

“Busy at the corp, Mrs Radley,” she replied kindly.

“Oh, understandable,” the woman nodded, “But a young and beautiful woman like you shouldn’t waste her twenties in an office, take it from an old crone who did.” Rhaenys laughed awkwardly at that and looked to Viserys, noticing that he was trying to hold in a laugh. She wanted to punch him in the face. 

“Well, how have you been?” the Targaryen woman asked instead, trying to make pleasant conversation. Mrs Radley lived on her floor. 

“I’ve been well, darling. Just returned from visiting Mary on one, the old bat! We played a game of cards but it’s so tiring after a while, don’t you think?” 

“Yes, true,” she nodded. They were on three now. 

“Oh, forgive my manners!” the old woman exclaimed, looking at Viserys, “Who is this young man?” 

“He’s-”

“Viserys Targaryen,” her uncle greeted smoothly, shaking the woman’s hand.

“British! How lovely,” Mrs Radley fussed, eyeing Rhaenys with a sort of ‘go get yours’ grandmaternal pride, “And handsome. Is he your boyfriend? I haven’t seen anyone but Jon around your apartment since that handsome Lannister, you sure know how to pick them-”

“-Uncle,” Rhaenys explained and smiled tightly, not giving Viserys who looked ready to burst with laughter a glance, “Dany’s brother.” She would’ve explained that Jon was her half-brother and Dany’s nephew, but that would make them the center of attention for at least a month in their complex. _ The family who really kept it in their family... _

“Oh, I see,” the woman nodded, just as the doors to the elevator were opening, “Yes, the eyes make truth of that..”

“Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, Mrs Radley,” Viserys smiled in that secretive way, positively causing the old woman to swoon. 

“You must come over for tea, Rhaenys,” the woman cried, “And bring that one with you.” 

“Will be sure to do that, Mrs Radley,” Rhaenys muttered and all-but dragged Viserys inside her apartment. 

“What a lovely old crone,” Viserys chuckled as Rhaenys took off her shoes and threw her coat on top of the couch. 

“She’s the tattle-tale of the complex. Always having her head around the corner, looking for gossip to share.” 

“Well, she is old and way beyond her glory days. I’d quite love to be a tattle-tale when I’m old, spying on the young kids and spilling tea to my equally bored and old friends.” 

“Well, you do you, boo,” Rhaenys murmured, “This is Dany and I’s humble abode. Your room is down the hall, to the right-- opposite mine.” 

“I shall make myself comfortable, then,” he grinned and then disappeared, a blur of silver and gold. 

Rhaenys did the same and quickly changed into her yoga-pants and a tank-top, then entered the bathroom to wash her face, comb her hair and brush her teeth. Night routines were grueling but needed to be done. 

“Hey, Vis-” she called into the hallway when she was done but instead bumped into the man.

“Shit, sorry,” he laughed, “Are you alright?” Rhaenys looked at the man and frankly, no she wasn’t. He was in a t-shirt and grey sweatpants, looking like some sort of greek god. _ Not fair, really not fair. _

“Yeah, I was just gonna ask if you wanted a cup of tea or anything.” 

“Only because I’ve lived in the UK for the most of my life?” 

“Maybe,” she smiled coyly, leading him into the kitchen, past the purple walls and paintings that Dany had made. 

“When will Dany be here?” her uncle inquired as he sat down by the wooden kitchen table, watching Rhaenys make tea.

“Probably tomorrow,” Rhaenys replied, gathering two mugs from the cabinet and asking him what tea he would like; Forest Fruit or Rooibos. 

“Forest Fruit.” Nodding, she quickly finished making it and sat down opposite him, noticing the packet of cigarettes he was absentmindedly drumming his fingers on top of. 

“You smoke?” she asked, instantly feeling exposed with his lilac eyes staring into hers. 

“Yeah,” Viserys shrugged, “A habit I can’t quite quit. Do you mind?” 

“No,” she replied softly, “I do it sometimes, too.” 

“You shouldn’t,” he smiled and it was so beautiful that it almost broke her heart. Had Jaime ever made her feel that way? “It does more harm than good.” 

“I know,” she told him, “I only do it sometimes.” 

“Good,” Viserys nodded and took a sip of his tea, making a face, “Gods, how much sugar did you put in this, woman?” 

“Don’t be fucking rude, Vissy” she chided but began laughing, nonetheless. 

“You’re trying to give me diabetes,” he grumbled but continued drinking and she picked up hers, carefully blowing cool air before putting it to her lips.

When they finished their tea, Viserys moved to stand by the window of the dark living room, overlooking the city. _ It’s a pretty sweet view. _ Then, he lit a cigarette and simply stared outside, taking a deep inhale of his cigarette once in a while. Rhaenys decided to walk up to him, her feet barely making any sound as they padded across the wooden floor.

“Hey there,” Viserys grinned as she appeared, squeezing her way in-between, so that she was in front of him but with her back to his front, leaning against the open window. She had work in the morning and it was 12.pm by now, but it wasn’t the first, nor would it be the last time she worked on low-sleep and a high dose of caffeine. 

“I’m happy you’re here, Vis,” Rhaenys sighed, feeling his arms around her as he rested his head against her shoulder. 

“I am, too,” he murmured, taking another drag of his cigarette. Rhaenys quite liked the smell for some weird reason. She knew that many found it abhorrent, but ever since she’d been a child, she’d found it immensely soothing. They continued staring in silence, until he finished his cigarette and put it out on the ashtray. 

The moment felt palpable for some reason. There was a strange compound of energy between them and it made her feel as if whatever they did would wash away by dusk. Which made her think that she could afford a few mistakes. Rhaenys was always so cautious, always so preoccupied with denying herself things because she couldn’t stand what might happen if she ever lost it, or it slipped out of her hands and grew out of control. _ Stop being a little bitch, _ she told herself. 

With that odd, mental pep-talk, she turned around to face Viserys, the windowsill digging into her back. His silver-gold hair glittered in the moonlight and his lips looked pink and soft. Without knowing it, she’d reached a hand out and stroked his cheek but when she moved to retract it, he stopped her, instead anchoring it there with his own, closing his lilac eyes and sighing softly. Her other hand was on his chest, feeling the soft, cotton-fabric and steady breaths.

“You shouldn’t leave your hand-print on my heart like that,” he shook his head, “We will be in quite the mess if we allow this to continue.” 

“What is this?” she asked softly as Viserys opened his eyes to gaze into hers. She felt naked, exposed like a raw nerve and fought the urge to look away. Eye-contact with anyone for a period of longer than five seconds unnerved her. 

“Undue affection,” he breathed, “So wrong that it’s almost right.” 

“Jon and Dany…” Rhaenys faltered, biting her lip. _ What are Jon and Dany? _

“Are not us. One more incestuous pairing when we have the world to choose from will most like give my brother cardiac arrest, as well as your mother. She accepted Jon and Dany with open arms but they aren’t her children, not her flesh and blood.”

“They might as well be,” Rhaenys argued, “She loves them just as much as she does us.” 

“The closest thing our fucked-up family has to a Mother Mary.” 

“We’re not religious, uncle,” she smiled slightly. _ Would that make what we are doing more okay? If there are no Gods to answer to? _It certainly eased her conscience. 

“Thank the Gods for that,” Viserys swallowed, flashing her a devilish grin.

“This is really fucked up,” Rhaenys mumbled, running a hand through his hair, “But I kind of like you, uncle. I mean; I always have but everything changed in London.” 

“I know,” he murmured, stroking her face and brushing a few stray, brown curls behind her ear, “And I tried not to think about it because you’re my Rhae but fuck,” he exhaled, “You grew up and I don’t mean that in a wow-you-got-hot way. Well... you certainly-” he wandered off-topic, so she made sure he strayed back because honestly, the validation of it all.

“Vis-” 

“-Oh, right,” he shook his head, smiling as he pulled her against his chest in a warm embrace, “You’re… I don’t even know how to express it. Your energy, your vibe or whatever the kids call it these days…” the statement made her giggle, “It’s immaculate. You’re like me in so many ways and I don’t know… I think I began falling down your rabbit hole, piece by piece and now I can’t quite seem to get up.” 

“I’m tired of doing what everyone else wants,” she mumbled, “And let’s be honest; nothing will ever top the dad and Lyanna thing so…” _ Well… maybe… no, nothing will ever top that. _

When Rhaenys pulled back, Viserys simply stared at her for quite an uncomfortable amount of time but it was kinda hot. It suited the whole vibe of night and illicit confessions of attraction or whatever. They probably wouldn’t have been in this position if Daenerys had been home but for once, Rhaenys was really glad that her aunt wasn’t. 

“I-” the younger Targaryen tried to break the silence but Viserys had already leaned down and then his lips were on hers and she really fucking liked it, even if he tasted like cigarettes and Forest Fruit by lipton. Rhaenys also liked the way he grabbed her hips and pulled her closer as she idly wondered if the pentagram on his hip was still visible, or if he looked as good without clothes as he did with them on. He probably did. 

He took her breath away, he really did. 

Not as much as explaining whatever existed between them to their family would, though. 

Screwing your uncle during a night that felt strangely like a fever dream? Rhaenys Targaryen would have to check that box. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas party coming up soon tho :)  
Not been edited whatsoever.  
P.S: This is a crackfic, so don't take anything too seriously in it and ik therapists don't behave that way in real life but like let's pretend they do.


	6. There's nothing like this.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh,” Rhaenys said, impressed, “He’s kind of hot, isn’t he?”  
“Like honestly, Jon and I discussed this… We’d both totally bang him and that’s the tea.”  
“I think that even Viserys would, he’s just so insanely well-kept for his age. Kind of like Brad Pitt… I’d fuck Brad Pitt.”  
“Yeah, me too, to be honest.”  
“It wouldn’t surprise me if grandma and grandpa were swingers,” Rhaenys sighed as she plopped down on Dany’s bed, “They radiate that energy.”  
“It certainly wouldn’t be the most fucked-up thing this family would’ve had come to light.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I was hit with a surge of inspiration directly after writing the previous chapter, so enjoy this shit-show lmao. I hope y'all are staying safe and that this brings a bit of light in these dark corona times. 
> 
> Don't forget to kudos if you enjoyed this chapter and drop a comment down below!  
Until next time,  
<3

“This is really _ not _what I imagined,” Rhaenys heard a voice say thoughtfully, in her half-asleep, delirious state. The Targaryen could barely recall her own name and all she wanted to do was go back to sleep. Maybe she was just hearing things or in that lucid state between dreams where reality is kind of altered. 

“No,” another voice agreed, sounding mildly disturbed.

“Like, I could make up a thousand different scenarios about what I’d see this morning during this hour and they wouldn’t even come _ close _ to this shit. Like _ never _ in my wildest dreams, never, ever, ever,” the first voice spoke again and Rhaenys was coming out of her sleep, actually opening her eyes. However, quickly closing them again, to spare her from the harsh light of the sun. Was it really supposed to be this bright out? It was winter, after all. _ 6:00.am should be pitch black... _

“No, I agree with you a hundred percent.” 

“Quiet,” Rhaenys groaned, stretching and then stilled completely when she felt warm arms around her. Last night began coming back to her… quite vividly. _ Oh, shit. _ She really _ did _ fuck her uncle Viserys, then. Instantly opening her eyes, the brown-haired Targaryen saw that she was indeed nude underneath the covers and clutched them to her chest, turning to the left and seeing Viserys, fast asleep with his silver-gold hair _ adorably _ tousled, but that was _ not _what she had to worry about now! There was no mistaking their position, half the covers had slid off Viserys, unveiling all of his back and chest, quite close to flashing his ass. 

“Oh, fuck,” she groaned, “fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” 

“Yeah, looks like you did a _ lot _of that last night,” Dany said, staring at Rhaenys in her disheveled state, “With my brother… your uncle,” the youngest Targaryen flailed her arms and explained what was quite obvious, in case no one had made the connection. 

“Based on the look on her face, I _ think _she knows, Dany,” Jon nodded, eyeing the people in the bed. 

“Didn’t anyone ever teach you two to _ knock _first?” Rhaenys cried, causing Viserys to stir and almost expose her because the covers nearly slipped. Clutching the purple satin to her chest like a drowning man does life, she stared at her relatives expectantly. 

“I was coming to say good-morning, the door was… wide open so I didn’t assume you had... _ company,” _ Dany explained, still awkwardly staring at them and coughing. The poor woman looked to be in as much shock as Rhaenys was, continuing to gesture between them, “My brother, to be exact… your-” 

“-Uncle,” Jon finished, “She knows, Dany!” At that, Viserys groaned and moved closer to Rhaenys.

With his eyes closed, he mumbled, “We could go again before you have work.” Rhaenys nearly had a heart-attack. _ This wasn’t supposed to end up like this, they weren’t supposed to find out like this. What the fuck have we done? _

“Viserys,” Rhaenys hissed through gritted teeth, “We have company.” 

“Mhm, great,” he murmured, snuggling against her thigh, “The more the merrier.” She was pretty sure she’d have PTSD from this event. 

“Open. Your. Eyes,” she hissed as she shook him by his shoulder. 

“Alright, woman!” he cried, “No need to be so rough... Or well-” 

“-Don’t finish that sentence!” 

“No, please don’t!” both Daenerys and Jon exclaimed in unison.

“Wait,” Viserys grumbled and sat up, rubbing his eyes and turning to the doorway, wincing at the harsh light, “Oh,_ fuck,” _ he realised and they all just kind of stared at each other.

“Yeah,” Jon echoed Dany’s earlier statement, “Looks like there’s been a _ lot _of that.” 

“Isn’t this awkward?” Viserys chuckled, although the sound was as strained as Rhaenys’s heart seemed to be at the moment. 

“Yeah,” everyone else echoed in unison. 

“Well,” Rhaenys began, not really knowing where to take the conversation, “Doesn’t this make us kind of like that spiderman meme?”

“The one where there’s several spider-mans pointing at each other?” Jon asked in a snort. 

“Yeah,” Rhaenys nodded, “I mean there’s you and Dany. You: my brother, Dany: my aunt. Then there’s Viserys and I. Viserys: your uncle, I: your sister… And so it goes on.” They all contemplated that statement for a few seconds and then, Daenerys began laughing hysterically, soon followed by Jon and he was overtaken by Viserys and finally; Rhaenys broke out into hysteric giggles. 

“Our family _ never _stood a chance of normality, did it?” Dany asked, tears of laughter streaming down her face.

“I don’t think so!” Rhaenys cried, almost losing her grip on the covers protecting whatever semblance of modesty that she had left. 

“Fuck,” Jon shook his head, trying to stop laughing, “Well, I’ll be in the kitchen making cof-” he couldn’t hold it and began laughing as he moved away, toward the kitchen. Dany remained in the doorway, trying to compose herself. 

“Wait, what time is it?” she asked her aunt, who shakily got her phone out and checked the time.

“It’s like 10.am, why?” _ Oh, no, no. I am supposed to be at work! _

“Oh, shit,” she giggled, “I’m two hours late.” _ Dad’s probably blown up my phone, mom probably thinks I’ve gotten murdered because dad’s going to have told Lyanna because she’d tell mom and- _

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Dany said, trying to keep a straight face as she looked at Viserys but failed, “Fuck, I’m gonna be in the kitchen with Jon. Kudos!” Then, her little aunt literally yeeted out of there but thankfully closed the door. 

“Hand me my phone, will you?” Rhaenys groaned, laying back down. 

“Here,” Viserys said softly and snuggled down beside her, leaving small kisses on her shoulder, “Are you regretting anything?” he quietly asked after a while, as she was scrolling through her notifications. 

“Hm?” she asked as she was reading the dramatic texts sent by her mother, father, Lyanna and Arthur. 

**Dad:** Where are you? It’s not like you to be late, Rhaenys. 

Sent: 8:10.am. 

**Dad:** I’m worrying. You’re half-an-hour late. Are you okay?

Sent: 8:30.am.

**Dad:** I’ve contacted your mother and she says that you left with Viserys last night but he is not answering either. They said it was icy out. Please respond as soon as you can, we are worried. 

Sent: 8:59.am

“Oh, no,” she groaned, “Are they blowing up your phone as well?” 

“Believe it, Viserys muttered, “But are you regretting anything?” 

“What?” she turned to look at him and remembered that, yes, there really _ was _ a faint outline of a _ pentagram _on his hip. It was kind of sexy, she wasn’t going to lie. 

“Do you _ regret _what happened last night?” He wasn’t joking, there wasn’t any humor to his words. He was genuinely wondering. 

“No!” she cried, “Of course not. I’ve wanted to do that for months!”

“Really?” he asked with a slight smile. 

“Yes,” she nodded, “It was the _ greatest _way to end my year-long-involuntary-celibacy.” 

“Oh,” he mumbled and a pleased smile began making its way to his full lips. 

“But don’t go growing any hubris, now,” she mumbled, “That’s all the praise you’re getting from me.” 

“Lucky for you, _ niece,” _ he leaned in and began placing scalding kisses in the crook of her neck, moving up her ear, “I do not have a praise-kink.” 

“Good,” she snorted.

“But I do have other… refined tastes.”

“Great, but I gotta’ keep reading these because mom and dad think I’m dead, but do go on.” Her uncle snorted and instead began to rise. “I’m going to the bathroom,” Viserys murmured, kissing her cheek before he was gone. _ Did he just walk out completely naked? _

**Möther:** Rhaenys, please pick up the phone. Your father called me and he’s really worried something might have happened to you two. The roads were icy last night, please answer, darling. 

Sent: 9:04.am. 

**Uncle Arthur:** Hey kiddo, just making sure you’re alright. Your mom’s really worried because this isn’t like you. Please answer her before she calls the police and files a missing-person’s report, alongside your dad. Peace. 

Sent: 9:11.am

That text actually made her laugh. If the thing reuniting her parents and making them join forces is her disappearance, then she’d believe in the Gods for a slight second because nothing would ever be more ironic or hilarious. 

**Dad:** I’ve checked with all the local hospitals. They’ve not heard of either you or Viserys’s names. Please pick up. 

Sent: 9:35. am. 

**Lyanna:** Hi, I’m just texting to see if you’re alright. Your dad’s throwing a bit of a fit regarding your mysterious disappearance. I’m sure it’s nothing but please soothe our worries! 

Hugs, Lyanna. 

Sent: 9:48.am. 

After having called her mother and explained that she was fine but felt slightly under-the-weather, which was why she overslept and didn’t show up for work, it was time to call her dad. She thought her lie was warranted, _ it’s not like I can call and tell mom that the reason I didn’t show up for work was because I was having a hoe-adventure with uncle Viserys. She’d pop an artery, for sure. _ That went for her father as well, _ though he’d probably have an aneurysm. _

With that, she quickly pulled on an oversized t-shirt (that was most likely Viserys’s from last night) and entered the bathroom because she felt disgusting. She felt good but kind of disgusting because for some reason; she always did in the mornings. Rhaenys assumed that Viserys was finished with it because the door was unlocked, but then she entered and heard that the shower was on. 

“Are you taking a shower?” she asked, almost hysterically, “I need to take a shower! I’m _ late _for work and everyone’s been thinking I was dead for a solid second.” 

“Calm yourself,” came Viserys’s chillaxed reply, before he slid his head out of the curtain, winking, “I was here first.” 

“No, I _ need _ to!” she hissed as she searched for the icon of ‘dad’. _ Really, I could just go on missed calls because there’s probably ten of them from him. _

“Well, I’m a sharer, be my guest,” Viserys shrugged and pulled back the entire curtain, making her nearly fall back. He was hot, there was no denying that and he could very much have modeled if he would’ve liked to. 

As if nothing had happened, he kept on showering and using the loofah to scrub his upper-body as if he’d not just done_ that. _

“Did you just… expose yourself? That’s public indecency!” she screeched.

“We’re not in public though, are we?” he raised an eyebrow and he was using her hot-pink loofah, which made the scene a bit hilarious. 

“Well _ I _ am present, which makes me _ a _public.” 

“Law doesn’t work that way, I took it for a year. I should know,” Viserys winked and began rinsing the soap away in the stream of water and honestly, she was too engrossed in watching that she’d forgotten that she had dialled her dad, until he was on the phone. 

“Rhaenys?” came Rhaegar Targaryen’s slightly panicked voice, “Are you alright? When you didn’t show up for work this morning I thought-” 

“Hey dad!” she began in a light voice, almost delirious, “I’m _ really _sorry. I felt a bit ill last night and it probably manifested during the night, so I missed my alarm and overslept…” 

“Well, are you alright now? Viserys wasn’t answering his phone either, which granted, isn’t unlike him but this was so unlike you that I grew very worried. Are you well enough to come in today?” 

“Uh,” Rhaenys began, staring at Viserys who was shaking his head and smiling quite provocatively. Well… at some point in her life she would need to skip work to have sex, why not now? _ One could call it a rite-of-passage or something, _ “I still feel a bit under the weather so I don’t know. I wouldn’t want to infect anyone this close to christmas, you know?” 

“Oh, yes. Makes sense. But please take care, Rhaenys,” he murmured softly and she felt a slight stab in her heart because she had worried him a lot and he did love her. She knew that. 

“I will, dad,” she replied quietly. 

“Okay,” he exhaled, “I might be over later with soup and we can watch movies like we did when you were younger. Does that sound good?” 

“Yeah, sure.” 

“Alright. Love you.” 

“Love you too, dad.” Then, she hung up the phone and felt slightly ashamed that she was sleeping with his brother behind his back. 

_ Should I really? _ She contemplated as she watched Viserys rinse shampoo out of his hair, like someone straight out of a L’oréal commercial.

“Are you coming or are you just going to keep on being creepy and stare?” 

“I’m the creepy one?” Rhaenys asked, deciding right then and there, as she shrugged out of her t-shirt, to the silver-haired Targaryen’s slight shock. Then, she brushed her teeth by the sink because… hygiene.

“Did you lock the door?” he asked and she had, but decided to be coy about it as she stepped inside, wrapping her arms around his torso. 

“Why? I thought you liked having an audience…” 

“Not when it consists of _ my _ sister and _ your _brother,” he shook his head. 

“I did lock it and Gods, are you going to use up all our hot-water?” 

“I thought it’d be a shared accomplishment,” he grinned and cupped her face, staring at her intensely. 

“Have I ever mentioned that eye-contact for more than five seconds makes me _ really _uncomfortable? Because if not; I’m saying it now.” 

“So you being in the shower, naked with your uncle, after a night of _ glorious _ carnal relations isn’t uncomfortable but looking me in the eyes is?” he deadpanned. 

“Yeah, kinda,” she grinned.

“Well,” he hmed, “Too bad for you. I enjoy staring at you immensely and don’t plan on stopping.” 

“Perhaps allowances can be made…” she breathed and ran her hands along the sides of his body. He was more muscled than Jaime was. The Lannister was a swimmer and had a lean body because of it. _ Viserys… he just gyms, I guess. _

“Shower-sex,” he smirked, lilac eyes sparkling devilishly, “How _ refined _of you.” 

“Well _ no one _ is as refined as you,” Rhaenys retorted, raising her eyebrows in a sort of ‘and I oop-’ manner. 

“I can think of one or two, at the top of my head.” 

“Well,” the younger Targaryen said expectantly, “Get crackin’, Romeo.” 

“Did you _ just _ say that?” Viserys asked, taken aback, “Gods, you almost single-handedly _ killed _the mood.” 

“Yeah,” she frowned and cringed at her own words, “Forget I said that.” 

“Gladly,” Viserys breathed and then his lips were on hers. He tasted like mint, so she assumed he’d brushed his teeth before showering _ but… With whose toothbrush? _

He was pushing her against the wall and it was really hot, it was... until she started feeling uncomfortable because of the angle and tried to move herself so that she was more comfortable. It was slippery though, so she would’ve fallen multiple times, if it hadn’t been for Viserys’s tight grip on her.

“Is that good?” he asked, lips against her neck as he thrusted and… it was, except the shampoo-rack was digging into her back and he wasn’t really hitting a good spot. Besides; the wall was a moist kind of cold. 

“Uhm,” she swallowed, thinking that maybe it’d be better if he upped his pace, “Can you try going faster?”

“Yeah,” Viserys groaned, pushing her against the wall even harder and it made for quite an obscene sound.

That helped a little bit and she found herself breathing his name softly as he groaned, but she was slipping and that damned shampoo-rack was _ really _ getting uncomfortable. Therefore, Rhaenys tried to adjust herself as inconspicuously as she could, because Viserys was enjoying himself and she didn’t want to ruin the mood. Like what’s the big deal if she didn’t come once? Viserys would probably make up for it. _ Fuck, this angle kind of hurts. _ Then, she did something with her arms and accidentally knocked over the rack of shampoos and conditioners. The crash was deafening.

For some reason, their situation really amused her, so she began laughing hysterically and even Viserys joined in. 

“We _ suck _ at shower-sex,” he exclaimed. He’d stopped moving now and was simply leaning against her, all-but dying of laughter. 

“What the fuck are you doing in there?” a shriek from outside was heard. _ Dany, _“I swear to the God-” 

“Viserys is just watching me shower!” Rhaenys called out, giggling, not realising her mistake in wording. Viserys looked at her with gleeful lilac eyes, wondering what she would say next. 

“I didn’t need to know he was _ that _voyueristic!” 

“No!” Rhaenys shrieked, “I mean he’s…” she faltered, “He’s waiting for me to finish so that he can take one too! He’s brushing his teeth right now.” 

“Jon!” Dany wailed, “I’m traumatized, I _ only _wanted to take a shower.” 

“Go away!” Rhaenys cried dramatically.

“I’m sending you the bill for my therapist!” At that, she heard Jon laughing outside, mumbling something about being dramatic. 

“We’re such fuck-ups,” Viserys chuckled, turning around to observe the shower. 

“Wait,” the younger Targaryen began, eyeing the corner to the left, wondering if he was seeing the same thing as her. 

“That’s legit a foldable-out-chair thing that mostly old people use… to _ sit _down in the fucking shower,” the older Targaryen stated.

“Well,” Rhaenys breathed expectantly, “What are you waiting for?” Not having to be told twice, Viserys moved to… unfold that weird thing they’d probably never used and sat down.

“Come on,” he grinned, biting his lip, “I do like a woman in charge.” 

“Shut up or you’re gonna make me laugh again,” Rhaenys muttered, moving to get on top, sighing softly. 

“Better?” Viserys asked teasingly, lilac eyes almost eclipsed by his pupils, running his hand down the sides of her body, stopping to grip her hips tightly. 

“Much,” she beamed, kissing him hard as her hands fisted in his hair, slightly pulling and earning a few hisses. 

“Wait, maybe it’s too late to ask this,” the older Targaryen groaned, lips against her throat, grazing his teeth against the sensitive skin,“But you’re on the pill, right?” He was really interrupting her moment because she was hitting it _ right _and the pressure was building up-- plus; he was so incredibly attractive with his eyes half-closed and the barely-concealed moans. Viserys made shower-sex fun, she didn’t want to think about the damn pill, but she was on it. Her history with periods was rocky, to say the least.

“Yeah,” Rhaenys breathed, “I am, Vis.” 

“Great,” he groaned as she picked up her pace, “Condoms are fucking tedious.” 

***

“I’m scarred for life!” Daenerys confessed dramatically as Rhaenys and Viserys entered in robes, both damp from their previous shower. 

“Well, to be fair,” Rhaenys eyed her aunt, smiling slightly, “Jon is my brother, how did you think _ I _ felt when he stayed the night sometimes and you would engage in the most _ unholy _of acts?” 

“Hm,” Daenerys said and pretended to think as she took a sip of her coffee, before nodding and shrugging her shoulders, “Fair is fair, I guess.” 

“Have you told Elia and dad?” Jon asked, raising an eyebrow at his uncle and sister. 

“Well…” Rhaenys faltered and looked at Viserys.

“No, not really,” they both confessed.

“It all happened a bit fast,” Viserys allowed, “You weren’t supposed to have seen what you saw earlier.” 

“No, we figured that, bro,” Dany snorted and Jon looked like he was suppressing a chuckle. 

_ “Are _ you gonna tell them?” her brother then asked and handed them both a cup of coffee. 

“I mean…” she faltered again, looking at Viserys, “I think we kind of want to keep it quiet for now.”

“Yeah,” Viserys nodded, eyeing Rhaenys intensely without giving anything away. The man had such beautiful eyes, like a vision of spring. 

“Well, we’re making pancakes so sit down and fill us in, I guess,” Jon said as he began mixing the batter. 

“By the way; dad’s coming over later and I told them I was sick, which was why I didn’t pick up.” 

“Oh, so it wasn’t because you were getting your guts rearranged by my brother?” 

“Dany!” Jon winced, “That was a mental image I did NOT need!” 

“Yeah, sorry,” the silver-haired woman cringed, before quite despairingly adding, “I see it now too and I’m not a fan!” 

“Anyway!” Rhaenys shrieked, “He’s bringing soup and we’re gonna watch movies. So pretend I’m _ actually _sick or I’ll have you all stabbed in your sleep.” 

“Isn’t she just the most affectionate thing?” Viserys cooed, leaning against the counter and taking a sip of his coffee. 

“I blame my childhood trauma for my ineptness when it comes to displaying various affections.” 

“Gods,” the rest of the Targaryens present snorted. 

“You’re all _ equally _as dramatic as I am, if not more-- so shut it!” she stuck her tongue out. Everyone else simply shrugged and nodded. 

They were Targaryens. 

Drama _ was _them. 

***

“Well, Jon and I’ll be off around six, we have reservations at _ The Rose.” _

“Olenna Tyrell’s restaurant? Isn’t that kind of expensive?” Rhaenys asked as Dany was busy changing into a pretty black dress with a sweetheart neckline. She looked ready to attend a funeral but so beautiful that it kind of hurt. 

“Well,” Dany exhaled and looked at her niece in a matter-of-fact way, “That’s the privilege of being born with old money. We can afford it.” 

Rhaenys knew that her aunt didn’t really like splurging and would most often find great items at thrift-stores and such, but once-in-a-while, she’d treat herself and that was fair. What was the point of having money if you were too afraid to spend it? Daenerys did her duty of giving back to the community anyway, via fundraisers and helping out in soup-kitchens. _ She’s a humanitarian at heart. She really cares. _

“You’ll have to tell me if it’s good,” Rhaenys smiled, “Maybe I’ll force Viserys to take me there,” then she cringed, “But that’s kind of mooching off grandma by default.” 

“Everyone mooches off mom once in a while. I think she likes it, she says it makes her feel good to make us happy. Even if it’s with money.” 

“Grandma’s really special but like… an utter queen.” 

“Honestly true. I don’t know why she stays with dad, she could do so much better.” 

“Grandpa’s harmless though…” Rhaenys faltered and earned a pointed glance from her aunt.

“The green-fire fiasco?”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot,” the brown-haired Targaryen winced, “But I think grandma’s happy living her separate life and just doesn’t want to leave him because he’s her brother and all.” 

“Yeah, true,” Dany sighed, “But she has been spending a suspicious amount of time with Bonifer Hasty, the guy who owns the flower-shop down her street.” 

“Oh,” Rhaenys said, impressed, “He’s kind of hot, isn’t he?”  
“Like honestly, Jon and I discussed this… We’d both totally bang him and that’s the tea.” 

“I think that even Viserys would, he’s just so insanely well-kept for his age. Kind of like Brad Pitt… I’d fuck Brad Pitt.” 

“Yeah, me too, to be honest.” 

“It wouldn’t surprise me if grandma and grandpa were swingers,” Rhaenys sighed as she plopped down on Dany’s bed, “They radiate that energy.” 

“It certainly wouldn’t be the most fucked-up thing this family would’ve had come to light.” 

“Is that a personal attack because now I’m gonna call spider-man meme again,” she eyed her aunt through lavender eyes. 

“I mean...” Dany smiled coyly, before shaking her head, “No, I was referring to Rhaegar and Lyanna. That shit was out of proportions, even for us Targaryens.” 

“Mhm, tell me about it.” 

“But like… you and Viserys,” the silver-haired woman faltered, “I don’t know. Like, it feels like it’s always been, y’know? It’s hard to explain but you were so close when we were young that it seems only right, in a way. Like Jaime and Renly were just pastimes for you to realise that you wanted Vis.” 

“That’s an interesting way to look at it,” Rhaenys admitted, “I’ll talk to John about it.” 

“Your hot-but-sadly-gay therapist? Remember when you hit on him!” 

“You _ made _me do that!” she cried, covering her face, remembering the shame. 

“He’s over it by now,” Dany shook her head, giggling, “It was probably really flattering.” 

“Hmph,” Rhaenys exhaled. 

“Well, how do I look?” her aunt asked, twirling around as Rhaenys sat up to inspect. 

“You look really hot, the black eyeshadow was a great choice. It brings out your eyes. I feel like red lipstick would make you look unworldly, though.”

“Okay, hold on,” her aunt murmured and ran out to_ … find red lipstick, I guess.. _

“How’s it going?” Rhaenys called after a few moments, earning a muffled reply. 

“Found it!” Dany replied and returned to the bedroom, expertly applying it, “Okay, now?”

“Oh my Gods,” the older Targaryen gasped, “You look so fucking hot.” 

“Really?” Dany smiled, straightening out her dress, “Is it too much?” 

“No, it’s just right,” Rhaenys nodded, “Like, if I was gay, I would’ve totally chosen you instead of Viserys,” she joked.

“That’s one of the greatest compliments I’ve gotten, Rhae,” Daenerys chuckled, moving to hug her niece, “But also why our family needs _ severe _therapy.” 

“True, true,” she agreed. 

After that, they stepped out into the living-room where Jon and Viserys were waiting, the former being dressed in a blue button-up and black slacks. He’d even done his hair, _ how cute! _ Once her aunt and brother were next to each other, they looked like movie stars. Meanwhile; Viserys and her looked like strays, dressed in sweatpants and t-shirts. Rhaenys hadn’t even bothered to comb her hair or put on make-up. _ What Viserys sees is what he gets and I don’t think he has a problem with it. _ She didn’t want to catfish too much because she was lazy and didn’t want to put in any effort. _ I do clean up well, though and he knows that. I can be hot when I want to. _ She just didn’t want to be very often. 

“Nawe, you two look great,” Rhaenys told them, moving to stand beside Viserys, who in turn wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer to him.

“Indeed,” the pale-haired man agreed, “And I hope you’ll have more fun than we’ll have here.” 

“Don’t be rude, Vissy,” she slapped his chest gently, “Dad’s a riot when he wants to be.” 

“Well that isn’t too often, then.” 

“Well I think the whole cheating and hiding a kid for a few years really added… _ pizzazz, _ y’know… _ character.” _

“That’s one way to put it,” her uncle snorted.

“I’m sorry Jon, was that too soon?” Rhaenys asked her brother and he shook his head, chuckling.

“Well, it’s better to laugh than cry about it,” Jon shrugged.

“I’ll drink to that, those should be our family-words…” Viserys muttered and everyone laughed because it was honestly just the truth. 

Just then, the doorbell rang and Rhaenys gave Viserys a quick kiss before moving away. Were they a thing? She didn’t really know. All she knew was that she liked him and they had bomb-ass sex together and Viserys was sweet and soft when he wanted to be._ I guess… we’re dating-without-the-dating? _ She’d have to sit down and try to figure that out with him. _ He’s probably none-the-wiser. _

Daenerys went to open the door in her heels as Rhaenys disheveled her hair a bit more and made her best attempt to look as if the plague had made a visit to their humble abode. 

“Rhaegar,” her aunt grinned, kissing her brother’s cheek and letting him inside, “You brought soup.” 

“Yes, Rhaenys is ill,” he explained, walking in to put the brown paper-bag and his keys on top of the kitchen-bench. 

“What a good dad you are,” her aunt murmured and Rhaenys swore she heard Viserys cough. 

“Where are you two off to?” Rhaegar asked his son and sister… which according to Rhaenys; was weird to put in a sentence where the context is two people dating but… ‘We’re Targaryens’ seemed a good explanation as any, for their wild and unruly behavior.

“The Rose,” Jon explained, “We’ve reservations and thought it’d be nice, since it’s so hard to get a table there. Marge hooked us up.” 

“Oh, how intriguing,” Rhaegar pondered, “Well, have a good time.” 

“You too,” Dany smiled, “I heard a movie-marathon is in the works.” 

“Yes,” Rhaegar smiled and Rhaenys almost felt bad for lying _ but what’s a little family-bonding under the pretext of illness? _ “Are you joining us as well, Viserys?” 

“Believe it, bro,” the younger brother grinned as he moved to hug Rhaegar, “It’s been too long, man.” 

“I’ve missed you,” her father said, hugging Viserys tightly, kissing the top of his head.

“Likewise,” her uncle smirked as he pulled away and looked at Rhaenys. 

“Hey dad,” she tried to croak and hoped it sounded believable. The brown-haired Targaryen did her best to look like an anemic, Victorian orphan and it seemed like it did the trick because Rhaegar’s forehead creased into those worry-lines. 

“She looks _ ghastly _ , doesn’t she?” Viserys inquired and it was like they pretended they didn’t have shower-sex a few hours earlier and were now back to lovingly insulting each-other. _ It’s how we show affection as Targaryens anyway. _

“Don’t be mean,” Rhaegar shook his head and moved to embrace his youngest daughter. 

Like even though she was aware her father was a huge fuck-up, he was still her dad and she did love him, she just liked to joke about him a lot to cope with the trauma that being a Targaryen induced, a bit too much. 

“How are you doing?” he asked, kissing the top of her head as she breathed in deeply in the crook of his neck. He smelled like safety and cologne, the way he always did. Like it just screamed ‘dad’. Everyone had a different smell and it would always remind her of different things. _ Like… mom smells of comfort, _ Arthur did too, but they all had their own twist and it made them so distinctive. It was hard for Rhaenys to explain but it made sense in her head. 

“I’ll be fine, dad,” she murmured, “You worry too much.” 

“I know,” he chuckled, “But you’re my little girl. My first child. I’ll worry about the bunch of you until I kick the bucket.” Rhaenys spotted Viserys, Dany and Jon making the same face as he said ‘first child’ and it almost made her break out in giggles.

“It’s too early to be this morbid, dad,” she grinned and broke apart, “It’s movie time.” 

“Alright,” Rhaegar Targaryen chuckled and looked at Viserys, “How about we order some pizza as well?” 

“Sounds bloody fantastic,” his younger brother replied, already unpacking Rhaenys’s soup to the sounds of Dany and Jon leaving as they bid their goodbyes.

***

“I honestly think Carol killed her husband,” Rhaenys murmured. They’d binged Tiger King on Netflix and everyone was just so hilariously fucked-up that it made her feel good about her own family, “You know it’s messy when the only sane ones are the ex-drug-trafficker and person who lost their arm to the tigers and lions.” 

“I will have to agree with Rhaenys,” her dad mumbled, taking a bite out of his pizza, “There’s something off about her.” 

“She’s a Karen!” Rhaenys exclaimed, “Sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong and look at the cages she keeps her own tigers in! None of them are right.” 

“I mean…to play the devil’s advocate,” Viserys began, “Perhaps she didn’t and honestly, I feel bad for the woman, she got gang-raped and then her crazy religious family like… disowned her.”

“I know!” Rhaenys exhaled, “And I sympathise for both of their backgrounds… they’re really sad people and I get that they’re trying to find shit that fills that hole but tiger’s aren’t it…” 

“Didn’t dad have a tiger?” Viserys asked his older brother, “Like when we were really young… Well I was young and you were like married… For the first time.” _ Yikes, _ Rhaenys wanted to laugh. _ Major throwback. _

“Oh…” Rhaegar stared at the TV, nodding awkwardly, “Betsy… yeah.” 

“What happened to her?” Rhaenys turned to stare at her dad weirdly because he was being so sparse with information. 

“Well,” her dad swallowed, “Animal-welfare came to take her… like the government took everything our dad touched.” 

“Did he like… hurt her?” she wondered. _ I can’t believe dad and Viserys grew up with a fucking tiger. Maybe I’ve met Betsy too! And was just too young to remember. Would mom have allowed that? _

“No,” Rhaegar shook his head, wincing, “She… uhm… attacked and ate one of the staff. Dad let her roam free. It was all kept very hush-hush.” 

“I can imagine,” Viserys snorted, stroking her back through her blanket. She gave him a look and he replied with one that resembled a teasing ‘what…’ She was seated in the middle of their couch, wrapped in a blanket, on Rhaegar’s insistence, with her dad and uncle to either side of her. To the untrained and unobservant eye, it simply looked like Viserys had a comforting arm around his ill niece. But those people of course hadn’t engaged in prior shower-sex with said uncle. 

“Did I ever meet Betsy?” Rhaenys asked curiously and her dad coughed awkwardly. 

“No,” he shook his head, “Your mother said she’d divorce me if I even took you near Betsy, so you didn’t visit your grandpa for a solid year of your life.” 

“Oh, how interesting,” she murmured, laughing a little. 

“Well… looks like I’m the only cool one here… being raised with a free tiger and all,” Viserys stated obnoxiously. 

“Get back to the ground,” Rhaegar snorted, “Mom literally moved to the other side of the mansion with you and told dad that she’d have him poisoned in his sleep if he brought you near it, unattended.” 

“Oh,” Viserys frowned, “How very un-cool.” 

“Viserys, Betsy _ ate _someone!” Rhaenys almost facepalmed, earning a chuckle from her father.

“Well, enough of Betsy… May she live in peace wherever she is,” her dad stood up and Viserys expertly removed his hand, only leaving a small hint that it’d ever been there, “It’s really late and I should get going. Work is going to be hectic tomorrow.” 

“Thanks for coming, dad,” Rhaenys rose to hug her father. They may have an awkward relationship at times but she couldn’t actually be mean to him in person. He’d come all that way to give her soup. It warmed something in her cold heart. 

“Of course, anytime,” he kissed her cheek, “We’ll have to do this again. It was fun.” 

“I agree, for whatever it’s worth,” Viserys grinned, “You’re fun at times, bro.” 

“Mhm,” her dad raised an eyebrow at his younger, unruly brother, but smiled fondly,“You should take tomorrow off, too,” he turned to his daughter, “And then it’s the weekend. You should rest up, honey.” 

“Okay, dad,” she smiled and followed him to the door, “Tell Lyanna we said hi.” To be quite honest, Rhaenys never had anything against Lyanna because… her mother didn’t. Elia was literally so non-toxic that she was now having monthly lunches with the woman who basically, although unknowingly home-wrecked. _ Lyanna was always nice, so I didn’t mind her but it doesn’t mean we’re super close. But she’s always there if I need her. _

“Will do,” Rhaegar Targaryen smiled and bid them goodbye, then he was gone. 

With that, she turned to Viserys, sighing, “How will we ever be able to fess-up?” 

“Honestly,” he looked at her, “I have no idea. Rhaegar will probably be enraged with me.” 

“It’s such a weird situation,” she giggled and Viserys agreed, pulling her close to him.

“We don’t have to do anything now,” he whispered, lips against her ear, “We’ll just have fun. No one needs to know. We’ll tell them when we feel the time is right.” 

“Mhm,” she nodded, breathing in deeply in the crook of his neck, before saying, “But I’m tired. Let’s go to bed.” 

“Only to sleep?” he asked her suggestively and she nodded, moving into the bathroom to brush her teeth, as Viserys did the same. He’d apparently already brought a tooth-brush with him, which he’d stashed there last night. _ Huh, the more you know. _ When she was finished washing her face, applying the moisturizer and all that jazz, she walked into her dark bedroom, shrugging out of her t-shirt and slipping underneath the covers. 

“Now that’s not fair,” Viserys complained, trying to be equally as vindictive and removing his, too. 

“Nothing in life is, Vissy,” she sighed, smiling as he wrapped his arms around her. 

“A quickie?” he asked, kissing her neck softly, making the younger Targaryen giggle. 

“Sleep,” she told him. 

“Alright,” Viserys huffed but drew her closer to him, hugging her tightly. 

“I’m off work tomorrow,” Rhaenys smirked, even though he couldn’t see her. 

“And?” 

“Do with that information what you will,” she breathed, wiggling closer to him, earning a sharp intake of air. 

“I see.” 

“Honestly,” she laughed, “For someone who has been in college for so many years, you’re quite thick on the occasion.” 

“Why do you think I’m still _ in _Uni,” her uncle deadpanned, making her giggle. 

Then, they fell asleep. 

The Christmas party was a-looming. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't know what to call this chapter so might change the title later lol.


	7. The Christmas Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought it was time to update this and bring forth the hyped up Christmas Party. It gets crazy lmao. 
> 
> Anyway; I hope y'all are doing well, especially in these fucked-up times. I made an important note regarding the BLM movement in chapter 25 of my other story 'Pray The Sun Will Rise' so even if you don't want to read the story, please check the note out because it's important, I feel. I will include the generally important stuff in this chapter, too. 
> 
> I've officially ended school and work starts tomorrow (or well... today. I should be sleeping.) So I'm gonna head out now, but stay safe, y'all. 
> 
> Until next time, 
> 
> <3
> 
> ***
> 
> Here are some links to donate:  
https://www.gq.com/gallery/ways-to-support-black-lives-matter  
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/black-lives-matter-protest-support-george-floyd-donate-petition-a9542576.html
> 
> Learn their names and cause of death:  
https://mychemicalkilljoys.tumblr.com/post/619644445127835648/this-has-been-getting-a-lot-of-notes-but-if-you
> 
> Educate yourself:  
https://blacklivesmatter.com/
> 
> Here are some shows available on Netflix that you can watch to educate yourself on the topic of systemic abuse against african-americans and black people in the states, as well as racism.
> 
> -The 13th amendment.  
\- When they see us  
-LA 92  
-Trial by media: 41 shots  
\- Who killed Malcolm X?  
-The Death and Life of Marsha P. Johnson
> 
> Petitions you can add your name to:  
https://blacklivesmatter.com/petitions/  
https://www.change.org/p/andy-beshear-justice-for-breonna-taylor  
https://www.change.org/p/the-trayvon-martin-law-stop-this-from-happening-again  
https://www.change.org/p/department-of-justice-investigate-the-killing-of-tamir-rice
> 
> Do not close your eyes. Do not stay silent just because it isn't happening to you. Do not allow racism to continue prospering.

“Viserys, stop!” Rhaenys hissed, pulling the strap of her bra back up her shoulder, “We’ve got to pick up the fancy wine grandma and grandpa likes. The party is tonight!” 

“So cranky,” he wrinkled his nose, throwing himself back onto Rhaenys’s bed with a lazy groan, “And the liquor stores are most likely empty. Christmas is tomorrow, people like to get stocked up in time.” 

“We will try,” she told him pointedly, as she put on her knitted, grey sweater and struggled into a pair of skinny jeans. 

“Are you finally done?” Viserys asked, rolling his eyes. Her uncle was the kind of man who was the envy of all women, everywhere. _ He just wakes up, puts on a pair of jeans and a sweater, and manages to look like a runway model. _Here she was, actually putting on makeup and brushing out her hair, in order to look the least bit presentable. 

“Yes,” she breathed, grabbing her keys from the vanity, as well as urging the silver-haired man to get up. 

“You look hot,” the older Targaryen appraised as he wrapped his arms around her from behind, “Those jeans make your ass look great.” 

“They better,” she grumbled, “They cost my first-born.” 

“Are we making deals with Rumpelstiltskin now?” Viserys breathed, lightly kissing the side of her neck, “How very naughty.” 

“Do you ever stop?” she giggled, turning to face his light, lilac eyes, “Or do you just have an infinite supply of sexual innuendos and ways to turn the conversation sexual?” 

“You’ll find out sooner or later,” he winked, “It’s good to keep an element of mystery in a relationship.” 

“Uncle, you’re like Quagmire from family guy,” Rhaenys Targaryen chuckled and dragged him out into the hallway, moving toward the front-door, “I wouldn’t call that mysterious.” 

“Calling me uncle...” he noted, a tinge of amusement lacing the words, “Does that turn you o-” 

“Stop,” she screeched, “If you want to keep all parts of you intact, that is.” 

“Empty threats,” he scoffed, eyeing her intensely, but upon noticing that maybe she actually would do it he said, “But I’ll refrain from taking any chances.” 

“Come on,” Rhaenys opened the front-door when they’d finished putting on their boots, “Let’s give Dany and Jon their privacy. They’re pretending to sleep because they’re tired of us, don’t you know that?” the younger Targaryen grinned. 

“Oh, I know,” he smiled evilly, “That’s half-the-fun, isn’t it?” Rhaenys couldn’t help but return it. Then, a voice caught her attention as she was locking the door. 

“Rhaenys!” the woman called and the lavender-eyed Targaryen dropped her uncle’s hand faster than the speed of light. 

“Mrs Radley,” she greeted in return and cringed inwardly. _ Fuck, what does she want now? _

“How are you, darling? It’s been so hard to catch a glimpse of you, ever since _ this one _ arrived,” the Radley pointed at Viserys, “I met your father a while ago, so handsome he is, like his younger brother, too! I see it runs in the family,” the woman babbled, winking slightly at the male Targaryen, who looked too pleased with himself for his own good. 

“And?” Rhaenys asked slightly, trying to make the old bat get to the point. _ Okay, don’t get me wrong. I have love for Mrs Radley, in the kind of ‘I’m fine if I meet you once a year and you don’t snoop on me’ kinda way. But if I reciprocate her attention, she’ll never leave me alone! _

“Oh,” the old woman shook her head, smiling, “Sometimes I get ahead of myself. He told me that you were ill with a nasty cold and therefore I opted to delay the dinner invitation, until you got better. It’s so great to catch you like this. I was thinking next saturday? My niece is coming along and I was hoping to set her up with that one,” Mrs. Radley almost swooned as she looked at Viserys, “Presuming he has no sweetheart himself.” 

“Do I?” the handsome man smiled, devilishly waiting for Rhaenys to answer. 

“Oh- right… the dinner,” she acknowledged, not thinking it was the right time to leak that she’d spent the night getting dicked down by said-uncle. It made for weird dinner-table conversation. _ I’m not ready for that to be discussed over appetizers. _

“Yeah, Viserys is single, isn’t he?” she looked at him with a raised eyebrow, then shaking her head ruefully, “He just _ never _seems to tie down.” 

“Hah, well maybe my Jeyne can change that,” the woman tittered, making Rhaenys begin to chew on the inside of her lower lip, simultaneously pursing her lips because she was _ done _ with this shit. Viserys was _ her _ man… kind of... very secretly and _ yes I did tell her he’s single but can she stop? I- _

“Perhaps,” Viserys cut in with a heart-breaking grin, “If this one approves then she’s probably as good as they get. My niece is an excellent judge of character.” 

“I’m sure she’s great,” Rhaenys smiled awkwardly.

“You’re both so close!” the woman exclaimed adoringly, “If only all families could be as tight as yours.” _ Would you really like that? _ The Targaryen wondered in an ‘and I oop-’ sort of way. 

“Yes, well we both grew up together and stuff,” Viserys began dramatically, pulling his audience in for the final act, “And sometimes, you know,” he continued, frowning with a heartfelt shake of his head, putting his arms around his niece and pulling her closer-- quickly kissing the top of her head, “I feel like a part of me is _ inside _ of her. Like we’re _ that _ close.” Rhaenys felt like the blinking guy meme because she knew _ exactly _ what he was getting at and it was just because he simply _ loved _ testing people’s limits to see how far he could go. _ You little shit. _

“How exemplary!” the old woman tutted approvingly, as Rhaenys continued her awkward smile, “Maybe my grandkids will learn the true value of family when I tell them about yours and the special love you bear for each other!” 

“Some say it’s _ too _ deep,” her uncle shook his head, biting his lip to stop himself from smiling, staring mesmerizingly at the plump woman, “But I do love it each time she calls for me. I’ll always come.” _ He might as well audition for broadway! _ The brown-haired Targaryen wanted to punch him in the face at this point. _ Does he always have to overkill these things? Of course he does, _ her mind told her, _ it wouldn’t be Viserys, otherwise. _

“What a lovely, chivalrous man that you are, Viserys, is it?” Mrs Radley inquired, earning a nod, “Jeyne will be absolutely smitten with you!” 

“You are too kind, Mrs Radley,” he grinned, “But we have Christmas shopping to do. Enchanting, as always,” the silver-haired man finished, leaning down to kiss the old woman’s cheek, then moving to the elevator. 

“Your uncle is such a gentleman,” the old bat complimented, “And your relationship is so heartwarming. People these days have lost the _ true _meaning of family… all they do is move away and call once a month!” 

“Yeah,” Rhaenys nodded as she stared at her uncle, “He’s a special guy… And he _ does _like to keep his family close.” 

“It was so nice to meet you again, darling. I won’t keep you any longer.” The brown-haired Targaryen nodded and replied, “You too, Mrs Radley. I’ll see you saturday.” With two final smiles, one forced, they were off on seperate ways. Rhaenys rolled her eyes as soon as she got to the elevator and stepped inside. 

“Did you have to?” she asked Viserys, who was smiling devilishly, leaning down to kiss her slowly. 

“Yes,” he murmured against her lips, “It was far too easy.” 

“I think we’re too far in now, to tell her we’re together.” 

“Yes,” he snorted, “We’ll have to move and allow her to find out through the news or something.” 

“The news only care about dad. We’ll get one page in the middle of the newspaper or something. People don’t care about us younger ones,” she grinned, “And that’s a comfort.” 

“Something tells me you’re right,” he breathes as his hand stroked the small of her back, “Guess I’ll have to act interested in her granddaughter,” he shrugged.

“Will you at least try not to make innuendos about our ‘_ special _kind of love’ that we have for each other,” she eyed him with a raised eyebrow, earning a blinding grin. 

“For you; I’ll try. But I’ll never make any promises.” 

With Viserys; that was as good as it got.

***

“I’m surprised that they _ still _had it,” Viserys let out, eyeing the bottle of rosé with an awe-filled shock. 

“It was the _ only _ one left in stock,” she groaned, “And we stood in line for like an hour! I _ never _want to do that again, let’s go home.” 

“You sure you don’t want to look around?” The silver-haired man asked, just then being bumped into by a frantic christmas-shopper, “On a second note; Let’s get the hell out of here before I scream at somebody.” 

“Yeah,” she nodded, “Do you remember where we parked?” 

“Yep, first row, in the middle.” 

“Good, because I’d forgotten and we’d be here a while if you didn’t.” 

“Pleased to be able to serve at your behest, princess,” he mock-bowed his head, making her snort and punch his shoulder. 

“Mom and Arthur asked if we wanted to pick them up, to minimize all the cars in the driveway… gods know there’s enough room for it though,” she pondered, not noticing Viserys had stopped and was talking to someone. 

“You’re back in town?” a familiar voice asked and when she looked up, sparkling, green eyes met hers and it was-

“Jaime fucking Lannister,” she noted in slight shock.

“Rhae,” he beamed, pulling her in for a surprisingly intimate hug and his hand was drifting a bit too close to her butt for Viserys’s comfort, based on the focused look her uncle had on it, “It’s been a while. You look good. How have you been? I’ve been texting you…” 

“Oh, I’ve been super busy, Christmas with the fam and all, and then this one’s surprise visit. Someone’s gotta’ be the guide and seems like I’m the person in charge.” 

“Weren’t you born here?” Jaime Lannister asked the equally-as-tall-but-more-beefy?-stranger. Viserys wasn’t body-builder thick, but he wasn’t skinny thick either. He was kind of model thick. 

“In Switzerland actually, which means that you could say I am-” 

“He’s _ not _Swiss,” Rhaenys deadpanned, “He likes to think he is, but being briefly born there and staying for a week does not make him Swiss. He’s more British than he’s Swiss.” 

“Huh, interesting,” the Lannister bit his lip, “You know I’ve been wondering if you wanted to get together, like old times?” 

“I’d love to, Jaime,” she smiled awkwardly, “But-” 

“-She’s seeing someone,” Viserys interrupted, smiling in that fake way people do when they’re done with a situation, “He’s tall, really buff. You wouldn’t want to get on his bad side. I met him once. Scary guy.” 

“Oh,” Jaime nodded, staring at her uncle weirdly, “We should meet up sometime, though. I miss you, bring the guy if you want to...” he murmured but the tone of voice said he didn’t actually mean the last bit. Honestly; Rhaenys felt a bit bad. _ Jaime’s a good guy and maybe he’s going through some things. _

“Yeah, totally. We’ll figure a time out,” she murmured softly, patting his shoulder, almost feeling the glare that Viserys probably wanted to send her way. He did know she’d slept with the guy. A lot. _ If he’s so pressed, then he can just come with us. _

“I appreciate that, Rhae. I’ll text.” 

“Okay,” she smiled and went in for a quick hug goodbye, getting a kiss on the cheek that maybe lasted a bit too long. Then, Jaime turned to Viserys and shrugged, pulling him in for that ‘bro’ hug that men do.

“Nice seeing you, it’s been like what? Six years?” 

“Something like that,” Viserys acknowledged, smiling, even though it didn’t quite reach his eyes, “Likewise.” 

“We should all hang some day, maybe it’ll be fun,” Jaime offered, “I hear you’re quite the party-guy.” 

“My reputation seems to precede me,” her uncle smirked, “But yes.” 

Then, they all kind of did that awkward nod and smile goodbye, and went their separate ways. 

“He still wants to get in your pants,” the older Targaryen acknowledged as they were walking through the parking lot. It was freezing cold outside._ I wish I’d brought my hat and mittens. _

“Does that bother you, Mr _ I’m Swiss?” _ she snorted, turning gleeful, lavender eyes upon him. 

“Kind of,” he murmured as they reached her audi, “I’m all for sharing-is-caring… When I’m a part of it.” 

“He did say we could all hang. Maybe it’ll be fun,” she suggested, opening the car-door and stepping inside the driver’s seat, as Viserys did on the opposite side.

“Maybe,” her uncle allowed but he didn’t sound too convinced. Then, there was a comfortable silence until they were half-way home and Rhaenys thought of how maybe the should try to reschedule the Mrs Radley dinner, until Viserys left back to London and it’d be too late. _ I don’t feel like having a dinner that’s basically the equivalent of setting Viserys up with her daughter, when he’s already with me. That’s kind of my fault for not telling her though… _

“Hey, Vis,” she began evenly, briefly glancing over to see that he was busy replying to a text, “I think that-”

“-We should have a threesome?” he suggested, in an equally even tone, catching her off guard. 

“What?-” she began, “I-no, _ what?” _

“Why not?” he grinned, tucking a few strays of silver-gold hair behind his ear, “To quote you earlier _ ‘Maybe it’ll be fun.’ _” 

“First of all; I do _ not _sound like that,” she completely roasted his impression of her voice, “And second of all; I don’t think a lot of people would be into the whole niece and uncle thing.” 

“How would they know we’re related?” he asked mildly, “We don’t exactly look that much alike… hair-color wise.”

“I don’t know how to break it to you, champ’,” Rhaenys began, stopping at the red light and turning to him, “But not a lot of people in our immediate vicinity that have purple eyes aren’t not related via some incesty stuff that preserved the mutation.” 

“They’re not the same shade,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes slightly but she could tell that their banter greatly amused him.

“Did my point of them being the color _ purple _just completely fly over your head?” she asked, starting to drive at the green light. We should be home in five minutes tops. 

“Well, it could prove a slight problem,” he began, slightly startling her by placing his hand on her jean-clad thigh, “But Doreah took a liking to you and she probably wouldn’t mind,” he winked, “And by the look of your Jaime, I think he’d be _ very _into it. I’m a great judge of character, I studied behavioral patterns for a while on my own.” 

“How would _ you _know he’d be into that?” she asked, rolling her eyes. 

“Call it a hunch,” the older Targaryen shrugged, “And have him making out with me after his second drink when we hang, serve as proof.” 

“So cocky,” Rhaenys shook her head, “You’re like a flaming narcissist.” 

“Oh, no,” he shook his head, smiling a little too sadly for her taste, “I hated myself long enough growing up, to turn out a narcissist. Call it confidence by default. I just faked it until I made it.” 

“That’s kind of sad, Viserys,” Rhaenys frowned as she pulled into her parking lot. 

“I’m not sad anymore,” he smiled, leaning over to kiss her cheek, “Everyone wants to change when they’re a teenager. Besides; You kind of make me happy.” Those words warmed something inside of her. She wouldn’t know what it’d be like to not love Viserys. They’d skipped the awkward ‘who says it first’ and ‘who felt it first’ part of their relationship. _ We’ve loved each other since day one. Just in different ways _

“Nawe,” she murmured, opening the car-door and stepping out into the cold, shivering slightly.

“Will you pity-sleep with me now?” he asked, making those puss-in-boots eyes that no one could ever say no to, except for her, “I told you my sob-story.” 

“And now you ruined the moment,” she bit her lip to stop herself from bursting out into laughter, “Continue like that and the only thing you’ll be sleeping with, is yourself.”

“How very rude of you, niece,” he grinned, eyes turning somewhat darker as he stared at her, “You think there’s enough time before we have to get ready for the dinner?” 

“No!” She exclaimed, giggling as she pushed his back forward, toward the main entrance.

***

“So… Another year, another party, I guess…” Rhaenys faltered as she removed her keys from the ignition, turning to look at Arthur and Elia who wore the same, pinched expressions that being at Aerys Targaryen’s christmas party kind of brought forth. 

“Yep,” her step-father nodded, “Well, let’s get this show on the road.” 

“There’s no point in stalling the inevitable,” Elia Martell laughed but it sounded kind of strained, “I wonder if he will call me the Dornish wife or just ‘her’.” 

“Maybe he’ll throw in a ‘you’,” Viserys snorted, making her mother laugh. 

“Maybe. I do know that this time I’ll drink myself into oblivion to process and at the same time; forget this event, so heads up,” her mother murmured, earning amused sounds from everyone present.

Then, they got out of the car and walked up the remaining part of the too large driveway. Only family remained for Aerys’s famous dinner-party. Her grandfather would host an obligatory brunch for everyone else and they’d leave before the actual dinner, so it was quite an ordeal. It was also black-tie, which meant that Rhaenys had to force herself into one of Dany’s gowns, because her aunt had the best dresses. It was a pale, purple halter-neck that brought out her eyes. For jewelry she chose things with gold and amethyst accents, styling her hair with a jeweled diadem. Viserys had told her that purple was the color of royalty and that she looked every inch a forgotten princess. 

Viserys and Arthur were dressed blandly, like men always are. _ There aren’t many ways to style a suit but they did nice, _she had to admit. Her step-dad was in a dark, navy-colored suit, matching her mother’s pale pink gown that had a slit on the side. Viserys kept it casual in his black, tailored suit and white dress-shirt, although he did choose a green tie. He’d said that red would make him look like a bible’s salesman.

“Ma, did Dany and Jon tell you when they were coming?” she asked, “And Egg? He hitched a ride with them, didn’t he?”

“Yes,” Elia Martell murmured as they entered the doorway, shrugging off her coat, “Aegon told me they were already- there they are- Aegon!” Then her mother vanished, to fuss over her youngest child. 

“And another one bites the dust,” Arthur grinned, shaking his head as he gave Rhaenys and Viserys an apologetic shrug, moving to follow his wife. 

“Looks like we’re left to fend for ourselves,” Viserys murmured, grabbing a flute of champagne from a servant passing by-- Eyes scanning the crowd. She could see her mom talking to Aegon, Dany and Jon. Her dad was on the opposite side of the foyer, an arm around Lyanna as he talked to her grandma Rhaella. 

“Yeah,” she murmured, “Grandpa will call us soon, to make his big entrance as he walks down the stairs. Then he’ll greet us all individually, you know how it goes.” 

“He greets us all individually now? Fuck.” 

“Yeah, he started doing it a few years ago and it’s kind of stuck.” 

“Well, there’s no open fire around, though,” her uncle mumbled, taking a sip of the golden liquid, “I guess that counts for something. 

“I think he learned his lesson, you know?” 

“I don’t,” Viserys snorted, then eyeing her softly, “And you look beautiful, Rhae. I’d kiss you but somehow, I don’t think it’s the time.” 

“Maybe not,” the oldest of Rhaegar’s children shook her head, heart squeezing slightly as she mulled over his words, “But we can sneak away later. They won’t notice.” 

“Can’t wait,” he grinned, “Family gatherings always end up in shambles.”

At that, Rhaenys spotted a servant, dressed like an elf, _ how theatric grandpa, _ bring out one of those bell things… then he banged it exactly three times, earning everyone’s attention through the house. 

“May I introduce; Aerys Targaryen, head of Targaryen corp and the Targaryen family,” the man said and she hoped he got paid enough to do that because the second-hand embarrassment was really getting to her. 

A shape began emerging from the shadows and… _ it’s grandpa… for sure. _ He was dressed in a red tunic, with black, flowy pants and-

“Is that a cloak?” Rhaenys coughed, turning questioning, lavender eyes upon.

“I shit you not,” he tried to hide a chuckle, “Like the kings of old… fuck dad’s always been off his rocker but this!” 

“Align, my children,” her grandpa’s voice cut out and he looked… harmless. Was that the word? _ He does look a bit cozy in that attire. _

So, they had to align, based on his children and their wives, so on and so forth. First, came his wife… and sister _ but we don’t talk about that. _

“Ah, Rhaella. My faithful wife. Enter,” he kissed her forehead and beckoned her toward the dinner-room. With a nod, Rhaella Targaryen was on her way, a blur of silver and gold. _ Grandma is in her sixties, but honestly; she doesn’t look a day over forty-five. _Then, it was Rhaenys’s dad’s turn, Lyanna was next to him. 

“Rhaegar,” the old man solemnly greeted, “My first-born, my pride. Enter. Your wife as well.” _ Wow, that’s harsh, grandpa. _

“Wow,” she heard Viserys snort, “Glad to see we’re not picking favorites.” Then, it was his turn. 

“My joy!” Aerys exclaimed, “The lost son returns… as has been prophesied… Enter…” 

“Okay dad… I took the flight but that sounds more interesting, I guess,” Viserys shrugged, quickly embracing his father and then getting the hell out of that foyer. The order got a bit fucked after that point, because Lyanna had accompanied Rhaegar, Jon went with Dany and yeah… They just took it as it went. _ It’s not like grandpa’s going to notice. _

“Daenerys, my sweet girl and Jon, my darling grandchild. Together as one. Enter.” 

“Jeez dad,” Dany mumbled, kissing her dad on the cheek, as Jon embraced his grandpa,“Go on, make it even weirder.” 

“Did you say something?” the old man asked breezily and both of them shook their heads, quickly retreating into the room of the free. Then, it was her mom and Arthur’s turn. 

“Ah,” the wizard-looking man exclaimed, “The Dornish wife and her concubinator. Enter.” Rhaenys had to bite her lip extremely hard, to stop a giggle from escaping. Tears were pooling in her eyes because it was so crazy that it made her hysterical. 

“Your son and I have been divorced for over a decade and I’ve been married to Arthur longer than I was with Rhaegar but… Thank you, I guess,” her mother looked like she wanted to laugh, then turning her dark eyes upon Arthur, winking, “Come along, my concubinator.” 

“Grandpa’s off his meds, he has to be!” Aegon whispered behind her.

“When was he ever _ on _his meds, Aegon?” she whispered and suddenly, it was her turn. 

“Ah,” the old Targaryen pulled her into an embrace that was honestly quite loving for such a crazy man. _ Well, I always knew I was the favorite, _ “The oldest dragon of the oldest dragon. Enter.” 

“Or you could just call me Rhaenys, pops, but oh well.” The man made no acknowledgement of her statement and sent her off with a warm, slightly, kind of really dazed smile and she yeeted out of there, entering the luxuriously decorated dining room, quickly scanning for an empty seat. 

“Here,” Viserys nodded toward her, patting a seat right next to him. That earned him a strange glance from Rhaegar, but Rhaenys didn’t think anything of it and sat down, telling him of her experience with Grandpa Aerys, making him laugh.

“He called you a concubinator?” Viserys asked Arthur, cackling like a hyena, “That’s so rich, honestly.” 

“Well, I’d been hoping to keep my escorting business a secret but it’s true,” Arthur told the people at the table, “I’m Elia’s sugarbaby. She pays me- has been for all these years. We’ve been lying, all this time. Nothing’s real.” 

“Stop it, Arthur!” Elia giggled, punching the man’s shoulder-- and she looked so young when she laughed, that Rhaenys found herself smiling by default. _ I love seeing ma’ happy. _

“They’ve gotten into the booze, haven’t they?” the lavender-eyed Targaryen asked her aunt, who was sitting opposite them.

“They started as soon as they got here and now I genuinely think they’re like 80% alcohol,” her aunt grinned, “Speaking of; the Cristal is amazing, try some.” The brown-haired Targaryen shrugged, filled up her flute and downed it all in one go. _ One thing I’ve learned is that free booze is free real estate and you have to take every opportunity into account. _

Then, her grandpa entered and everyone had to go through the jazz of standing up and waiting until he sat down by the edge of the table and told them to sit down again. She’d learned the routines by now. Quirky was one way to describe it, deranged was another. _ Our family is full of adjectives to be sure… _

“Sit down, my friends and family. Enjoy the food and then; we shall take the party to the ball-room.” Everyone pretty much nodded and then; Aerys Targaryen motioned for some musicians to begin playing their tunes in the background. Everything just screamed ‘money.’

“Your mother keeps looking at my brother, then back to Arthur, then she whispers something and laughs. It’s hilarious,” Viserys whispered into her ear, “I think it’s getting to Rhaegar.” And it was, Rhaenys could see the way her father looked drunk and ready enough to verbally spar with his ex-wife and lowkey… she hoped it would happen. That shit would keep her entertained for years. _ Isn’t family gatherings just great? So much… flavor. It all-but explodes in the pot. _

“You’re right,” the younger Targaryen nodded, then kicking Dany under the table and making eyes toward the entire situation.

“I smell a conflict,” Dany giggled, cheeks flushed by all the booze and her violet eyes were positively sparkling, “I do _ love _watching it unfold.” 

“Wait, what’s happening?” Jon asked as he finished his bite of food. 

“We’ve got a situation… an impending one,” Viserys whispered, giggling. They’d all gotten drunk so fast because that was the only way to get through those situations._ You just have to drink enough to forget all the shit we all have on each other. _When Rhaenys looked at her grandpa, he looked totally gone. Like zenned out, drunk off the gathering or something. It was a bit creepy. 

“Arthur,” Elia giggled, laughing into the crook of his neck, desperately trying to compose herself. The Dayne looked as if he knew what was going to come.

“It’s happening,” Viserys murmured. 

“It’s happening,” Aegon agreed from across the table, staring warily at his mother and father. 

“It’s happening,” Rhaenys and Dany agreed.

“It’s happening,” another voice agreed, one belonging to Lyanna, who’d eavesdropped a bit from their conversation. She was kind of drunk as well, Rhaenys saw and it made it even more hilarious, because all Rhaegar was focusing on was Elia’s laughter. 

All of the observers then looked at each other and burst into slight, barely-concealed laughter. 

“Remember when I got his ass arrested, Arthur!” Elia tried to cover her mouth as she laughed so hard that she could barely breathe, tears were legit streaming down her face. _ Mom thinks this is hilarious, _ the oldest of Rhaegar’s children noted and the laughter made her lose her shit. Soon enough everyone, Jon and Lyanna included, were trying to cover up their flushed cheeks and helpless giggles. _ Booze, it really brings the fam together. _ But that quote sounded oddly familiar to Rhaenys, as if she’d heard it before somewhere. 

“Mom had you arrested, dad?” Aegon asked in shock, “What for?” 

The oldest of Aerys Targaryen’s children was so pissed off, he didn’t bother answering his son.

“Well,” Rhaegar replied, eyeing his ex-wife coldly, “At least when I was in jail, I got some fucking rest in!” Arthur Dayne tried to cover his laughter by bringing his drink to his lips but then, he began laughing so hard that he almost choked on it, “Don’t look so fucking pleased!” Rhaegar told his old friend, who then shrugged and threw up his hands, trying to diffuse the situation and act serious, miserably failing.

“I’m staying out of this, thank you very much,” he began, then giggling, “Peace!” 

“Mom!” Rhaenys remembered where she thought the quote sounded familiar from, “Did you and dad just in-sync quote Post Malone’s song ‘Die for me at each other?” 

“Die for me?” Elia exclaimed, wiping tears from her eyes, “Hah! more like lie for me!” 

“Yeah, well yours should be ‘Petty for me’!” Rhaegar retorted, earning a scoff from Rhaenys’s mother. Drunk as the brown-haired Targaryen was, she realised it was time to stop it before it escalated, no matter how funny it was. 

“Okay, mom, dad,” Rhaenys broke their argument, earning a stare from her father and an amused shake of Elia’s head, “It’s time to chill before both of you give us more trauma. Most of us are already in therapy,” she finished, giggling slightly, earning a chortle from Viserys. 

“Fuck, I do love family gatherings,” Dany admitted, earning a nod from Jon, “So much tea. Criminal records we didn’t know existed-” 

“-Careful now,” Rhaegar told her, downing his glass of champagne and taking a deep breath as Lyanna tried to get him to chill slightly. _ Okay mom did start this but it was kind of funny… _

“Okay, we’re just gonna go sober up in the kitchen, aren’t we?” Arthur asked Elia, who in turn smiled dazedly and nodded, allowing herself to be led away front the table._ Grandpa still hasn’t moved… _

“Is he alive?” she asked her grandmother, who took one look at Aerys, snorted and nodded.

“I daresay he is, darling,” Rhaella nodded, “He does this sometimes.” Then, they all just kept talking and laughing about the weirdest shit. Arthur and Elia didn’t return for quite a while and when they did, dinner was almost over. It was only like 10 p.m but they were all so shit-faced it was kind of hilarious. 

They were to change location to the ball-room. 

And that’s when everything went downhill. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes... the christmas party will continue in the next chapter... please put your seatbelts on (lol maybe I'm giving it too much hype but I have plans ;) )


	8. The Christmas Party (part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another update :)
> 
> Hope y'all are doing well during these times and staying safe. 
> 
> Don't forget to kudos if you're vibing with this story, and maybe even leave a comment down below (I am a sucker for those)
> 
> Tbh I've kind of forgotten where I'm taking this story but I'm like trusting in the process... I've got some stuff planned, I suppose. 
> 
> Until next time,   
<3

“Wanna sneak away?” Viserys whispered into his niece’s ear, as they watched a terrible reenactment of the jingle-bell rock dance from Mean Girls, courtesy of her grandfather?  _ I honestly want what he’s on. _ It had been totally impromptu, Aerys Targaryen just told the servants to get up and perform if they wanted their bonuses. Rhaenys and every other member of her deranged family was used to Aerys’s christmas antics at that point, so they just tried to drink away the thoughts of that HR complaint. 

“The back?” she asked, having sobered up slightly from the dinner because her dad had shoved a water-bottle into her hands. It wasn’t like he was doing any better, judging from the slight sway in his movements. Well; now only the really good, light buzz remained, making her laugh at the most random of things. 

“Come on,” her uncle urged her, moving toward the back of the room, where there was a glass-door that led to the… garden? It was more like a park in her opinion. 

Anyway; with a final glance at the ball-room, where there was just a shit-ton of things happening, Rhaenys took a deep breath and sprinted toward her freedom. It was with the glee of a twenty-year old victorian wife who was recently widowed. _ Good riddance,  _ she thought, also thinking of how Elia and Arthur looked really cute when they were both wasted, and her dad being horrified by how Aerys legit joined the dancing servants, swishing his robe around with a crazy passion. It was honestly just weird. 

“Wow,” she breathed, feeling goosebumps begin to cover her bare skin, “It’s cold.” Viserys turned to her with an amused smile, removing his suit-jacket and wrapping it around her shoulders nicely. It smelled like him or more specifically; some sort of Yves Saint Laurent perfume… or was it aftershave? She didn’t know but all that mattered was that it wasn’t the generic type of axe spray that burned the nostrils. Not that she wanted to shit on axe, they had some good stuff but the most popular spray was like… what teenage boys would spray in their room to cover the stench of sweat and left-over energy drinks.

Well; it kind of turned her on… the smell that was and Viserys looked absolutely smashing in his dress-pants and shirt. But strangely like a-

“You look kinda’ like a bible-salesman,” Rhaenys mumbled, then giggling because the image of her uncle Viserys knocking on doors to spread the holy word was too much for her drunk ass to take. 

“That’s what I  _ avoided  _ the red tie for,” the silver-haired man raised an eyebrow, then something seemed to catch his eye, as he walked up to one of the chairs and triumphantly exclaimed, “Aha!” 

Rhaenys had to squint to see it but it was a red blanket with a really weird pattern on it, flaming swords, comets and shit.  _ Grandpa likes this stuff, I guess.  _

“C’mere,” he murmured, guiding her toward one of the chairs and sitting down, himself. She had other things in mind and decided to cozy herself up in his lap, as he was to drape the blanket around her. 

“You’re warm,” Rhaenys smiled, resting her head in the crook of his neck, as he absentmindedly stroked the side of her body through the weird, red blanket.  _ It can’t have been out for long, it’s not even that cold.  _

“Dad does say we’re of the fire,” her uncle snorted, reaching for something inside the suit-jacket that was wrapped around her.

“Grandpa says a lot of things,” she breathed, kicking off the heels that had been digging into the back of her feet for the past few hours, tucking her legs underneath the blanket. Rhaenys was basically curled up into a fetal position and it was really warm and comforting, if she was being honest, “We shouldn’t take them to heart, then we’ll be  _ just  _ as unhinged as him.” 

“Aren’t we?” her uncle asked, in a tone of voice where she could imagine his wry smile, “Unhinged, that is. We’re in a pretty dirty situation, wouldn’t you say?” 

“The only  _ dirty  _ one is you,” the female Targaryen teased, craning her neck to look at the handsome man who was more closely related to her than she’d care to admit to immediate strangers, but whatever, “Always  _ so  _ inappropriate.” 

“You love it,” the man replied, beginning to light whatever he’d picked out of his pocket, “Every single second.” And she did, for fuck’s sake Viserys was the best thing to have happened her in years, when it came to men in general. 

“Is that-” she giggled, “Is that a blunt, Viserys?” 

“You’ve got to be drunk, high or both to get through these things,” he grinned and continued lighting it with slightly shaky hands. He was more drunk than he cared to admit. 

“Give it here,” Rhaenys breathed, not having smoked weed in years. _ I was like 16 the last time…  _ but if her grandpa’s crazy christmas party wasn’t the place to break that abstinence, then when was it going to happen? Viserys took two deep drags and then handed her the blunt, she took a few puffs and realised  _ wow, I’m kind of rusty, _ because the familiar slight cough as she breathed in too fast, took hold of her. 

“You alright?” the lilac-eyed man asked, laughter in the words, bringing them to life. 

“Yeah,” she replied, grinning as she took two more hits. It made her feel blissfully empty. 

“Slow down, champ,” her uncle chuckled, taking it from her and putting it to his full lips, “Leave some for the rest of us.” Rhaenys made an absent-minded hum and instead focused on the sky, which was brighter and more vibrant. The stars lit up her eyes and she wondered if maybe she’d smoked a little too much. It was nice, though and made the brown-haired Targaryen lean her head back against Viserys’s shoulder, sighing contently. 

“Isn’t it lovely?” her uncle murmured against her ear, warm breath tickling the delicate skin. 

“Yeah,” she agreed, suddenly turning around to look at him on a whim, analyzing that handsome face. 

His lilac eyes were more if a plain purple in the dark, but they were enhanced by the red that claimed the whites of them. His straight, narrow nose was like… the most beautiful thing she could think of ever having witnessed in that moment, as if it was sculpted by Michelangelo himself. 

“You’re very close,” the silver-haired man, who looked more of a pale blonde at that moment, acknowledged. 

“I am,” she giggled slightly, licking her lips as she looked at his, moving closer and clos-

“Viserys, Rhaenys!” A man called and when Rhaenys said that she jerked as far back from her uncle’s face as possible in two milliseconds, she meant it. The voice belonged to none other than her father, who seemed to have sobered up quite decently.  _ Well… decently for Targaryens is being able to stand without falling down. _ Her dad stopped to look at them weirdly for a few moments, then Lyanna appeared by his side, dressed in a gown of silver, “What are you two doing out- Viserys, is that a blunt?” 

Her uncle quickly lowered his hand, shaking his head, “No, bro. Just a cigarette.” 

“That’s a blunt!” Rhaegar frowned, the accusation drowning his words, “You  _ reek  _ of it!” 

“How would  _ you  _ know?” Viserys then tried to accuse but Rhaenys mostly found herself fascinated by the way Lyanna’s diamond-necklace sparkled so vividly in the dark night, completely unmoved by the impending… situation they’d have at hand. 

“I wasn’t born yesterday!” her dad hissed, moving toward them and trying to snatch the blunt from her uncle’s hand, who slithered away from it. 

“Stop it-” Viserys whined, until his brother got hand of it, “I’m not five!”

“It’s illegal!” 

“And is that  _ really  _ a deal-breaker in our family?” her uncle asked, gasping. 

“Be quiet-” Rhaegar told his brother, then stopping to frown at her and Viserys’s position, “Why is she sitting on your la- did you get Rhaenys high?” 

“As a kite,” she giggled, but maybe it was the wrong time to make that joke. Apparently the slight commotion had made her mother appear as well, Arthur by her side. Now; it was the Dayne’s turn to wobble. He looked more than drunk.

“What’s happening?” her mother asked with a slight drawl, probably because of all the booze. 

“You look so pretty, ma’,” Rhaenys suddenly blurted out, “Like a really, really saturated sunrise. I love that necklace.” It was a heavy piece with purple and orange stones that glimmered when light hit them.

“Are you alright?” Elia Martell asked her oldest child, slightly amused. 

“They’re high!” Rhaegar exclaimed, dragging a hand through his styled hair.

“Hah,” Arthur Dayne laughed, not seeming to be able to hold it in, “You used to do that.” 

“It’s  _ illegal,” _ Viserys mocked. 

“You got my daughter high. Rhaenys isn’t like you, Viserys! She doesn’t revolve around partying and drugs! For fuck’s sake; you’ve been in school for all of your adult life and barely passed high-school. Mom and dad had to  _ buy  _ you into Cambridge by promising to fund their library!”  _ Family gatherings, you can’t help but love them. _

“Totally  _ not  _ cool, bro,” Viserys grimaced, leaning his head back, “That was kind of mean.”

“Well it’s true!” his brother groaned in frustration, “And you got Rhaenys into it! She’s good!” 

“And I’m not?” Viserys suddenly asked, sitting up again to meet his brother’s indigo eyes, with furious lilac ones, “Fuck you, Rhaegar! You’ve no fucking room to speak because the teenager you knocked up while  _ still  _ being married is standing right next to your ex-wife, right now! Talk about skeletons in the closet! At least I’ve never hidden who I was because I was afraid of what it’d make me, ” he paused, swallowing, “No offense, Lyanna.” 

“None taken,” the woman dressed in silver replied, not knowing what to make of the situation.

“I feel like my vibe,” Rhaenys breathed, smiling dazedly, “Is being  _ severely  _ disturbed by all of your negativity. Let go, dad. There’s  _ so  _ much you don’t know.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“What it means,” her uncle began, “Is that for a man who's really done _ it all, _ you’ve got a serious stick up your arse,” he continued, exhaling, “Like bro, you need that blunt more than I do.” 

“Okay,” Elia Martell clapped her hands, moving toward them both in that chair, gently urging Rhaenys to stand. 

“My shoes-” she breathed, eyeing the louboutins that were carelessly thrown under a table.

“It’s fine, we’ll get them later, sweetie,” her mother soothed, “Now we’ll get you to bed, won’t we?” 

“I’m not tired,” Rhaenys yawned, almost not able to keep her eyes open.

“You’ve had quite the night, baby,” Elia said, amusement lighting up the words, “Too many adventures, eh?” 

“Mhm.” 

It was quite comical for Rhaenys Targaryen to be leaning on her mother, as if she was five, because she was several inches taller than the Dornishwoman. 

“Maybe you should go to bed too, Viserys,” her mother asked the silver-haired man who seemed to have a bit of a staring contest with his older brother, “If you’re tired, too. Rhaegar can help you.” 

“I’m not quite as rusty as that one,” he grinned wickedly, staring at Rhaenys, “But she was already  _ so  _ wasted.” 

“Unresponsible,” Elia chided, but there was warmth in her words, “But it is your dad’s Christmas party.” Then, she passed Rhaegar on the way inside, “Be kind to your brother, you give him too much shit, considering your own skeletons,” Rhaenys’s mother told her ex coldly.  _ Are those the only direct words she’s spoken to him all day?  _

Once upstairs, after a long struggle up the marble staircase, Rhaenys was guided into her old room and tucked into bed by her mother, as if she was a girl again. A weird Christmas party tradition was that each participant would stay the night, until opening their gifts on christmas together, the morning after the party.  _ I guess us being hungover and in pain gives it some sort of spice for grandpa. _

“I love you, ma’,” the brown-haired Targaryen slurred, “I’m sorry I-” 

“Save your words, darling,” Elia Martell sat down by the edge of the large bed, covered in pink sheets, kissing her daughter’s temple, “It’s fine, baby. I trust you and I trust Viserys. You’re both adults and I won’t yell at you like little children. You’ll feel the effects of your choices in the morning, and so will I, probably.” 

“Thanks, möther,” Rhaenys frowned, closing her eyes as a heaviness seemed to overtake.

“I love you, sweetie.” Her mom then rose and walked out of the room, slightly stumbling as she closed the door. Leave it up to her mother to pretend at being more sober than she was.  _ It’s a skill you’ve got to hone, _ Rhaenys thought as she fell asleep.

***

Rhaenys woke up a few hours later, still feeling slightly drunk but much more sober than she’d been previously. With a groan, she sat up and rubbed her eyes-- Letting out a whine when noticing the smudged mascara on the sides of her hands. 

“Fuck,” she grumbled, sitting up to find her clutch neatly placed on the nightstand.  _ Yes! _ She had make-up removers in there… among other things that were necessary, like a pack of skittles, lipgloss and condoms that were probably  _ really  _ out of date. Well, she got out the wipes and vigorously began rubbing off last night’s mistakes, cringing when she remembered that her  _ dad  _ had found her and Viserys smoking weed.

Noting that she was still in her, or well, Dany’s gown, the brown-haired Targaryen stripped out of it and moved to the bureau.  _ Something good’s gotta’ be in here somewhere, right? _ She wondered as she shuffled around the clothes that grandma Rhaella had bought her at like 13. After sifting through bright t-shirts, she found a pair of pyjama shorts depicting kittens playing with yarn, and a matching t-shirt that was kind of tight around her but it was fine. 

A strange idea came to her as she sat in silence. Maybe it was because she was still a bit drunk, but she wanted to go to Viserys’s room. It was right opposite hers, after all. He’d probably be there and Rhaenys wanted to snuggle… well that too. No one had the right to judge her for being drunk and a bit, just a  _ bit  _ horny.  _ Viserys did look so fucking hot in his suit. Like Gods, it should almost be illegal, shouldn’t it? _ With that thought, Rhaenys tip-toed over to the hall, opening her door carefully.

It was dark and completely silent.  _ What time is it, anyway? _ She glanced back at the nightstand in her room, with the alarm-clock depicting 3:05. _ Everyone must have just gone to bed or something. _ Well, never-minding that, the youngest of Rhaegar’s children stealthily closed her door and moved forward, opening Viserys’s. 

He was there, she could tell and he was sleeping like a newborn baby. The room was slightly smaller than hers, but it still had his pc-set in the corner and the slightly-larger-than-average twin bed… covered in spongebob sheets. He was a grown-ass man, half-naked and clutching spongebob sheets up to his neck. It was a sight, to be sure, but it was also kinda cute. With a soft smile, she walked inside and climbed into his bed, earning a soft groan. 

It was quite a job to position herself properly, and to drag away some of the sheets, so that they could cover her too. 

“Rhaenys?” he rasped, rubbing his eyes slightly and sitting up. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, “I didn’t mean to wake you.” Who was the woman kidding? Of course she did! Her plan had been to get some dick, for the Gods’ sakes! But now, a slight guilt began blossoming in her chest. He did sound so tired. 

“It’s fine,” he whispered, stroking her hair and moving to take a drink of the water that was by his bedside. She was level with the side of Viserys’s ass, as she was laying down. 

“Can I have some?” the younger Targaryen asked, realising how thirsty she was and sitting up.

“Here,” Viserys murmured, putting the cup against her lips. Rhaenys didn’t know why Viserys helping her drink water was as hot as it was, but then again; the oldest of Rhaegar’s children was already in therapy, so… 

“Thanks,” she smiled, feeling a few droplets of water trickle down her chin. 

“Don’t you look cute?” he eyed her t-shirt, making her feel a bit exposed but horny at the same time. 

“I do,” Rhaenys beamed, moving to straddle him as he placed warm, large hands on the sides of her hips.

“We shouldn’t,” he whispered, but he wanted to, so very bad. She could tell from the look on his face. 

“You’re right,” Rhaenys breathed, leaning in to kiss the side of his face, drifting downward as she moved her hips in a very, very suggestive manner, earning a soft, silent moan. It was barely decipherable. 

“Fuck it,” the silver-haired man grubmled, pulling down his boxers as Rhaenys did the same with the weird but cute shorts that could barely be called shorts, because half her ass was out. Then, she slid her panties down and went right to business. 

“That’s the spirit,” she grinned at his previous statement, leaning down to kiss him passionately, her arms around his neck, clutching the silver-gold hair. 

Honestly; Rhaenys had never had sex on spongebob sheets before, nor in her grandparents’ mansion with her uncle, during a christmas party-- But didn’t it make for a wildly controversial experience? Something to tell the grandkids about, to make them aware that she’d  _ lived… _ or not. Or really never and not.

“Faster,” Viserys moaned and did seem like he was trying to keep quiet, hands tightening around her hips as his lips travelled down the side of her jaw, to her neck. 

“Vis-” she breathed, not being able to finish the sentence because the tell-tale sound of a door opening- this door!- reached her ear. And it was just as she was about to have the best orgasm of the week, oh how the gods can be so crue-

The silver-haired Targaryen was  _ swift  _ in pushing her over to the corner of the bed, draping the covers above her, but there was an available space, making her able to see the door. A man walked in,  _ Arthur! _ He didn’t look too sober, if she was being honest. Her step-dad stopped to frown in very visible confusion for a moment, as if math equations were forming in his head. 

“No,” he shook his head, still very unsure and mumbled, “Definitely  _ not  _ the bathroom…” 

“No,” Viserys gasped, chest heaving as he stared at Arthur Dayne, “Definitely _ not. _ Just Viserys’s room.” 

“Huh,” the man made a sound of acknowledgement, barely able to keep his eyes focused, “Am I interrupting something?” 

“No,” her uncle shook his head, touching his neck for comfort or just because he was so fucking uncomfortable, “Just my early-morning-after-christmas-party workout.”

“Yeah, fitness is a lifestyle and all that, amirite?” Arthur Dayne nodded, seeming to totally respect Viserys’s hustle? 

“Yeah,” the oldest Targaryen nodded awkwardly, “There’s a bathroom by the stairs if you’re wondering…” 

“Oh, right,” her step-dad nodded, seeming to realise his purpose, “Well… I’ll leave you to it, then…” 

“Thanks.” 

At that, the drunk Dayne stumbled out, most likely headed for the bathroom.  _ At least he closed the door.  _

“Wow,” she giggled slightly, removing the spongebob sheets from her face, “Your after-christmas-party workout?” 

“Shut up,” Viserys shook his head, moving to get on top of her, his warmth a welcome presence. 

“You’re so beautiful,” she told him, eyeing him with perfect, purple mirrors, “The kind of man Emily Brontë, Jane Austen and Emily Dickinson would write about.” 

“Stop it,” he breathed, placing a small kiss on her lips, eliciting a gasp when he began thrusting, “Or you’ll bewitch me. Body and soul.” Well at least he’d paid attention in English lit.

“Would that be such a bad thing?” Rhaenys gasped, in-between feverish kisses, wrapping her legs around his waist as he pushed. 

“You could do much better,” he whispered, words edging onto a groan, “Maybe Rhaegar was right.” Okay mentioning her dad in that moment was so not it, but Rhaenys had the self-awareness to put that aside.

“I want you. It’s always been you, hasn’t it?” she gasped, feeling the pressure build up and up and up, until- 

“I love you,” was all Viserys said, growing sloppier with each thrust that followed, until he came as well, all-but collapsing on top of her, breathing hard. 

“That was,” she breathed, not quite knowing how to put that euphoric feeling into words. 

“Amazing,” he finished against her ear, moving to lay on his side, wrapping an arm around Rhaenys as she pulled her panties up. _ I should really go pee, _ she thought,  _ I don’t want to get a UTI… _ but honestly she was too tired to get up and Viserys was all warm and comfy.  _ It’s fine, it’s just one night… _ She desperately hoped the gods of sex would favor her and not make it sting when she peed. 

“Can you set an alarm for seven? I’ve got to go back to my bed, y’know?” Rhaenys asked. 

“Yeah, sure,” Viserys mumbled tiredly, reaching his hand over to the nightstand, grabbing his phone and pressing a few numbers, wincing when the light shone directly in his face. 

“I love you,” she smiled, placing a hand on the arm he had around her waist.

“How could you not?” he teased, cuddling closer to her, finally whispering, “I love you too.” 

***

“What the fuck!” a voice exclaimed, “I- Lyanna?” Rhaenys was beginning to wake up by now, slightly opening one eye to be faced by harsh light, immediately closing it again.  _ Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. That meant the alarm didn’t ring because it’s not bright out at 7:00 when it’s winter. Oh, no. _ The oldest of Rhaegar’s children felt her heart clapping as if it was running a 15k marathon. That was  _ definitely  _ her dad because who else would call for Lyanna? No, was it going to be a public spectacle?  _ What if mom sees! What if grandma sees? _ What would they say? With her dad it was already too late. 

With Dany and Jon it had been different… fuck, she hadn’t even told Aegon!  _ He wouldn’t care that much… would he? He was already suspicious when we were in London…  _ Her aunt and Jon had no room to judge because it was the literal spiderman meme and they weren’t judgy people… but this was  _ problematic  _ because there was no way of predicting the outcome of the situation. Viserys still had his arms wrapped around her and she didn’t know if he was awake, but in that moment; Rhaenys Targaryen made a decision. 

She would continue to pretend as if she was sleeping because that was better than any sort of direct confrontation.  _ Maybe they’ll go away… and I can sneak out of the window or something… no that will rub grandpa the wrong way. _ All Aerys Targaryen really demanded of his family was that they were present for his yearly, extravagant Christmas parties and the morning that followed. 

“Oh… _ oh,” _ another voice reacted, quite obviously belonging to Lyanna. Rhaenys kept her lavender eyes squeezed shut.  _ No reaction, no reaction and maybe they’ll go away. _ But that wasn’t her family’s way! Everyone would gather by that door to see what was going on and it’d set the vibe for the entire gods-damned day! 

“What’s up, dad? Why are you yell-” Aegon quite clearly cut through, then stopping to gasp, “Oh my gods! That’s- That’s-” 

“Rhaenys and Viserys!” Rhaegar exclaimed, still not seeming able to process the situation. 

“He’s- are they naked?” Aegon asked in horror, but there was a slight twang of amusement to the words, as if he was soaking up the drama that would unfold. 

“Well, Viserys isn’t wearing a shirt!”  _ one, two, three, _ Rhaenys tried to count, in a weak attempt to calm herself because _ this was not how people were supposed to find out!  _

“What are you all shouting for?” came Dany’s annoyed grumble, then she quieted too, “Ah, fuck.” 

“What the  _ fuck  _ is going on with this family!” Rhaegar all-but screamed, “Why can’t  _ anyone  _ be normal?” 

“Rhaegar you need to calm down,” Dany told her brother, probably trying to diffuse the situation and for that; Rhaenys was grateful.

“Calm down?” he asked, “My  _ brother  _ is in bed with my  _ daughter  _ and he’s naked!” Then he paused, seemingly conflicted at Daenerys’s tone, “Wait… you  _ knew  _ about this?” 

“Calm down,” Jon seemed to have turned up out of nowhere, “Dad… you’ve got to be reasonable here, Rh-” 

“-What’s going-” that was the distinct, hungover voice of Elia Martell, then a gasp was heard.  _ Classic, classic,  _ “Is that- Oh my gods!” 

“It all makes sense now,” Arthur Dayne cut in, seeming very distressed, probably thinking of the previous night.

“Why are you all so horrified? Dany and I are a thing!” 

“It took a  _ while  _ to understand that, if you remember!” Rhaegar all-but screamed, “This family has the  _ world  _ to choose from and you choose _ each other! _ What the fuck!” then he asked, “And  _ how  _ haven’t they woken up yet?” 

“They were very drunk last night,” Dany told him, “Leave them be, we can’t embarrass them publicly like this.”  _ Oh, the damage is already done, to my psyche, at least. _ She’d have to schedule an urgent meeting with John. Trying to test out the theory of if Viserys was awake, too, she gently squeezed the hand she had on his. After a few seconds, he gently squeezed her side and it brought upon an immense feeling of relief, because at least he was in it  _ with  _ her. 

“What are you all doing, Rhaegar?” her grandmother’s voice cut in and Rhaenys waited for the gasp, but it never came, “Must you all terrify them like this?” 

“Did you know?” her dad asked his mother in shock, “Did  _ everyone  _ know  _ but  _ me?” 

“No,” Rhaella Targaryen said, directing her dismay at Rhaegar, “But if you had eyes; wouldn’t you draw that conclusion yourself? They’ve been  _ living  _ together, for the gods’ sakes! Glued to each other for the duration of the party, caught in each other’s arms. Frankly, it could have been a  _ lot  _ worse, she could have still been with that  _ Renly  _ boy.” 

“He’s her uncle!” 

“Did Daenerys being your son’s aunt completely fly over your head? Rhaenys is good for Viserys, maybe he’ll finally settle down and set roots somewhere.” 

“Should we really be having this discussion here?” Arthur Dayne interrupted mother and son, sounding tired, “They’ll be horrified if they wake up to us ogling them.” 

“Come on,” Elia Martell cut through, her voice strangely distant, “We’ll eat breakfast and wait for them to wake up. Then, we’ll open gifts and discuss what has been going on like adults. Otherwise we’ll scare them off.” Rhaenys didn’t want her mother to think differently of her after this. The entire situation was so fucked up but she couldn’t help that she loved Viserys and they were Targaryens! The only people with immunity when it came to that sort of stuff.  _ Yes, it’s so fucking weird and yeah maybe sweet home alabama would play if we were like… Cersei Lannister, but we’re not. _ Ugh, all she wanted to do was go back to sleep and forget the nightmare she was living. 

A bit of shuffling was heard, then the door was closed and they were finally alone. Rhaenys almost felt like crying. 

Sitting up, she turned to look at Viserys with tears blurring her vision, “They weren’t supposed to find out like this,” she whispered, “The fucking alarm didn’t go off.” Maybe it had, but in their tired and delirious state; they’d simply turned it off. That had actually happened to her more than a few times. Viserys sat up and embraced her, stroking her back and just letting Rhaenys cry for a bit, not saying anything and it was nice, it was. 

“What if mom stops looking at me the same?” she asked, untangling herself from the embrace, to meet his lilac eyes with lavender ones. It was a bit strange for the younger Targaryen to doubt herself like that, because she’d been the one to ask Viserys why it’d matter to Elia Martell, because her mother had accepted Dany and Jon. 

“She won’t, why would she?” he retorted, gently wiping away her tears. 

“Because newsflash; fucking your uncle is  _ more  _ than a  _ little  _ weird,” Rhaenys let out a choked sound, halfway between a giggle and a cry, “Like, we’re such degenerates. It’s like dad says; we’ve got the world to choose from and yet your dick just happens to slip inside of me, of all people!” 

“Rhaegar doesn’t really have room to speak, now does he?” her uncle asked, raising his eyebrow in a sort of ‘and I oop-’ manner, “His fell and slipped inside a 16-year old. I feel like on the scale of not at all, to really fucked up-- We’re nesting peacefully in the middle. And you know what? That’s valid.” 

“Mental image I did not need!” she winced, but his joking tone lightened her spirits a bit. Maybe they could get through this day. 

“Come on,” he kissed her cheek, “We’ll take a shower, get dressed in that hideous pyjama dad ordered for all of us, and whatever happens, will happen. At least we’re in it together, hm?” 

“Strength in numbers, I guess,” she smiled slightly, still not convinced but taking his hand and following him inside the adjacent bathroom-- Making sure to lock both of the doors leading into it. 

As Rhaenys stripped out of her t-shirt and panties, Viserys turned on the shower, which was enclosed in glass. On a whole; the bathroom looked really open and clean, like there was a nice vibe to it.  _ Do I expect less from grandma and their mansion?  _ There was also a large, frosted window that overlooked the outside area. 

“Getting in?” Viserys asked, already under the jet of water, looking like some sort of mythical elf, destined to lure her away from humanity. At this point; she’d accept. It was more of a tempting offer than facing the rest of the Targaryen family. 

With a nod, Rhaenys walked in, closed the door and sighed dramatically as the warm water touched her skin, making the stiffness from last night dissolve slightly. Then, she wrapped her arms around Viserys and rested her head against his chest. 

“Dad’s really angry,” she murmured. 

“He’ll get over it. Just like he got over Jon and Dany.” her brother and aunt had been quite the situation. Mostly it had been Rhaegar who’d been iffy about it, so was Lyanna but she’d valued her son’s happiness and learned to accept that Targaryens were more fucked up than your average american. 

“It’s mom I’m scared about,” Rhaenys began weakly, “I just don’t want to be a disappointment in her eyes. Like ‘oh, this one turned out to be incestuous as well’ or like ‘Well at least there’s no one left for Aegon to fuck’” Even though deep inside, the younger Targaryen knew her mother didn’t and would never think like that. Elia Martell was rational to her very core and had good personal distancing. 

“I just,” she looked up to Viserys shaking his head as he spoke, “Don’t think that would be her exact thought-process.” 

“It’s just so damn awkward, Vis,” Rhaenys groaned, “Grandpa will be the only one who’ll be overjoyed. You know how fond he is of keeping  _ everything  _ in the Targaryen family.” 

“Yeah, well dad’s also crazy, so… is that really a win?” 

“Let’s just get this entire thing over-with,” she exhaled, reaching for the shampoo. 

“It’ll be alright,” Viserys leaned down to kiss her, taking the bottle from her hands and pouring some into his, then beginning to massage it into Rhaenys’s scalp. 

“Maybe we should try putting ourselves into rice,” she joked, “Maybe that’ll fix us.” 

“Maybe,” he snorted, “Or we’ll just have wasted a shit-load of rice because we’re not really broken, but think we are.” 

“How philosophical,” the younger Targaryen bit her lip as a smile took over her features.

“I did take philosophy for a year.” 

“You’ve taken like everything!” 

“No,” he grinned, “I still have crack and meth left but I’m kind of staying away from that. I've got too pretty teeth, you know?” 

“Oh, stop it,” Rhaenys playfully slapped his chest, giggling slightly, then turning serious, “You know you don’t have to put up such an act all the time? It’s hard being happy when you’re sad inside.” Then, the brown-haired Targaryen had to squeeze those lavender eyes shut, to rinse off the shampoo. 

“I’m not sad when I’m with you,” he replied in that rich, smooth voice and maybe that was enough, but at the same time; it wasn’t. 

Most people are too lovely to be so very sad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, that was that. This is supposed to be a crackfic lmao idk why I turned it so lowkey angsty in the end.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah so that was the chapter. Please leave a kudos if you enjoyed it and a comment down below. <3


End file.
